Excuses! Excuses!

[caseaday]

Excuses! Excuses!

I think that it is hard for me because I don't/can't let most people know that I have a drinking problem. It would absolutely kill my consulting practice. If I suddenly announced that I don't drink anymore many people would become suspicious and conclude that I was an alcoholic. Alcoholic=No Biz=No Home in my world.

My response has been that I am on a "health kick". No AL, Caffine, Cig's etc and that I am also taking a ton of supplements to detox my body to feel better and lose weight. All is true and not a lie. The best part is that many people get a little jealous of my plan to be in better health (as they pound their 3rd martini).

[happydog]

Excuses! Excuses!

I remember when i was in my twentys and i use to go out with a friend that did not drink, it never bother me, but she always use to say. when i had a few drinks i was a changed person she really did put up with me. we are still best friends today.
My last party i when to was next door and i bought my own AF wine with me and just said im drinking AF wine and that was that stuck to my guns, they did try and offer me AL Drink but said no i get no hangover drinking af wine.:H I still got to face the challenge of going out with a group of friends that will be a big test for me...Hmmmm need to eat lots of spinach to get stronger.

Love

Teardrop.x

[hippie37]

Excuses! Excuses!

tlrgs;331286 wrote: no thankx dont drink anymore and you would be surpise on the respones you get.
from people
#1 like sorry to hear that or
#2 man i have been trying to slow down too .
#3 been waking up with horrible headache.

It's funny the responses you get as some either wanna be just like you and not drink and others are bluntly stupid with the whole concept of not-drinking and look at you as if your alien and from another planet.

I tend to agree with Star (sorry darling!!) though. I don't have a problem telling others I have a problem and if those people can't handle that then, simply put, fuck em. Changes nothing and my sobriety will always come first whether other's choose to accept that or not is not my problem. I don't bare any resentments towards anyone just because they see things differently than me.

Anyway I normally just say "No thank you" without any reason and that is usually enough to suffice.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Mags]

Excuses! Excuses!

I usually just say "No thanks"

If I have to say anything more I say, "I don't drink" If someone is rude enough to ask why (like it is any of their business), I say that it is bad for my health. Then I walk away.

There is nothing wrong with being a non-drinker. I would like to one day ask them "Why do you drink?"

[Frogzter]

Excuses! Excuses!

No thanks I don't drink!

[Muddle]

Excuses! Excuses!

I think sometimes I worry too much about what people will think when the truth is they are thinking more about themselves then thinking about whether I am drinking or not. I think the only ones that are bothered by someone else not drinking are the ones that are drinking too much and want people around them to drink so they can feel "normal" and don't need to face the possibility that they have a problem. However, I haven't really had anyone ridicule me for not drinking.

On the other hand, I've never done drugs, but have found when I am around people smoking pot they seem to get really uncomfortable smoking around people who don't. I always just say, "no thanks," but they seem to take it as some kind of judgment. At the time, I just wanted friends and really didn't care if they used or not. But they couldn't seem to handle that. When my husband quit drugs before we got married he lost all his friends over it. Yeah, he knew that meant they weren't really friends, but that made it hurt even more.

[Hannah]

Excuses! Excuses!

Hi guys, I've found this very interesting reading. And - this weekend was a test of sorts for me too, because my son and g/f were coming for the weekend, and we had my whole family over for a BBQ on Saturday night. I stocked up on my own AF wine and beer, and bought the bare minimum for the rest of them - a six pack of beer, one 750ml bottle of white wine, two small (think airplane) size rye whisky, and a slightly bigger bottle of vodka. After my parents/sister left after the BBQ, I poured the rest of the white wine down the sink (about half the bottle!). Later in the evening, my son mixed hmself a Ceasar, and asked if we wanted one - I said, I'll have a virgin - and hubby said - yup, I'll have one too - however, my son didn't realize that hubby wanted a virgin one as well, and poured a little vodka in, and said - "Is this enough, Dad?" - and I saw the inner battle on hubby's face - and in the end, he said - Yeah, that's enough". He couldn't bring himself to say, no, please pour out the vodka - because of course, our son wouldn't understand, he didn't want to explain, etc....so he ended up having one weak drink, not the end of the world. I hadn't picked up on HOW it happened, just that hubby was having some vodka, obviously, and was a little upset and disappointed - I thought we were in this together? Until he explained later what had happened.....

And I'm guilty too, not of drinking, because I didn't, but of not explaining. I poured my AF wine in secret, in the kitchen, and no one knew my wine was any different. But - what the heck - my family has never known just how much I drank (DRANK = PAST TENSE!!!!!) - so why tell them now? So I will probably use my usual standby, if they ever ask, of headaches/hot flushes.....not sure what hubby will do!

It's easier with strangers than it is with family, that's for sure.

Thanks for everybody's input, some excellent comments here.

[Hannah]

Excuses! Excuses!

Oh yeah, and today after son left, I poured the vodka (barely touched) and the two small rye whiskeys (not even cracked) down the drain. Yay!!!!!! Felt so good doing that!!!!!!!!

[Prest4time]

Excuses! Excuses!

Some great ideas here!

My favorite, (as long as I dont use it with the same people over and over) is that I have a UTI (urinary tract infection -- very common in women...you know, when it burns to pee?) Anyway, I tend to get them frequently if I do not drink enough water or eat/ drink too much sugar. So I can always just say that I have a little UTI going on and that wine aggravates it, which it does! It can also cause them. You can also always say you are on an antibiotic and the doctor said to avoid alcohol for 10 days, or however long.

Another great one that I have used, is tell them you've been having trouble sleeping at night (which is true on AF nights) and when you asked the doctor about it, they said drinking alcohol can really interrupt sleep patterns, even in small amounts. So to avoid it for a while and see if your sleeping gets back to normal. Like how are they going to argue with that?

But the simpliest one I think is.... "normally a glass of wine would sound great, but what I am really wanting is a cup of hot tea!" Then start asking "them" questions such as what good teas do they like or have tried... it gets the subject changed!

[tea]

Excuses! Excuses!

I say that I have to get up really early the next day to babysit or whatever you have to be totally sober for, still get the 'oh just have one' to which I honestly reply NO I cannot and will not have JUST one.

Lx

[Guest]

Excuses! Excuses!

My family have worried about me and my drinking for a long time. I was often noisy, and a nuisance and they all tried to help but in vain. They are proud of me, and I am proud too to make it clear I am not drinking - it's such a relief for them.

I went to a family barbeque last holiday weekend, took my own sparkling grape juice drink. Most of my family actually prefer not to drink themselves and/or not in front of me. I have explained that often it doesn't bother me - just depends what frame of mind I am in.

The way I see it is I tried, very badly to conceal my drinking which resulted in bad behaviour so no point carrying on trying to conceal it any longer - just repeats the same pattern.

[cedar]

Excuses! Excuses!

i went to a BBQ yesterday and knew there was going to be drinking, but i took sparkling apple juice and explained that i am attempting to build up to a really good detox so have started cutting out the BIG toxins one at a time. I like this as its not untrue and people here seems to accept that as a good thing and dont try push a drink on you at all. Where as if you say "oh i am trying to stop drinking" it seems to make people uncomfortable. Strangly I noticed that everyone was drinking slower and less ? Maybe I was the one always encouraging drinking so I could pour myself more wine ? was interesting.

[nowandzen11]

Excuses! Excuses!

different things

I used to say that I was on antibiotics but that was ridiculous. I would say that I was tired, and also that I had to drive or had a big working day the next day. Oh God. That's enough.

Now I say that alcohol doesn't serve my highest self or I will just say no and no one asks anything.

You know what? I catered an event for 120 today and I was offered a drink at the end. I wanted a Red Stripe. I said yes. I had 2. Here we go. I was so f'ing tired and riled from cooking ( no excuse) that all I wanted to do was have "a drink". I am now having a negro modelo and listing to a CD I burned that is really good. Music either saves me or takes me down. Right now, Jewel is on and I just heard CSN. Sting.

That is not the point. I am not really sorry I drank tonite. It felt somewhat controlled. I know it wasn't good for me. I am listening to Madonna " Bad Girl" on my headphones. I know it is old. I love that song.

I am going to stop typing now. I am giving myself away.............................I would not have typed the above if I didn't want to reveal myself.

Thanks everyone
N