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Two steps forward, five steps back

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    #1

    Two steps forward, five steps back

    New Years Eve I gave up smoking. I knew that if I drank, even one drink I would smoke ~ so it was like killing one birds with one stone by giving up smoking. I did two and a half months with out so much as a jitter. No booze ~ No cigs. I couldn't believe how easy it was. Without any supps.

    Then a friend, whom I've known since I was a youngster came round to my house. Full of problems. I listened and the next thing I was smoking and drinking. Since all of this I have had an exhibition, which by the grace of God, has been very successful and finally 5 years of hard work has come to fruit.

    I know that I have to stop smoking and drinking. I also know that I am on a short rope when it comes to 'doing OK,' under the influence. I am going to succeed further and FAIL MISSERABLY.

    I've done it before. Granted only 2 1/4 months but I have to get away from booze and cigs.

    I know I can do it. Why have I lost the path. I just know that I must get back to where I was, when I successfully did 2 1/4 months.

    I did those months 'cold Turkey,' no sups or doctor prescribed drugs.

    I know that I am not particularly liked on this site, but I am actually a genuine person. I tend to say and feel publicly and I come to 'MYWAYOUT,' because I need it.
    A BushBaby with Attitude
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    #2
    Two steps forward, five steps back

    Firstly, why would you even say 'you are not particularly liked' here? That is not true.

    Secondly - you need to refocus. Funnel your energies not on feeling bad about what has happened, but on what will happen. Think positive. Dig deep within you, and realize you are worthy of a healthy life!

    You have it in you. We all have it in us. It is a matter of changing your thinking. Stop dwelling on the past and live for the 'here and now'.

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      #3
      Two steps forward, five steps back

      New Years Eve I gave up smoking. I knew that if I drank, even one drink I would smoke ~ so it was like killing one birds with one stone by giving up smoking. I did two and a half months with out so much as a jitter. No booze ~ No cigs. I couldn't believe how easy it was. Without any supps.

      Then a friend, whom I've known since I was a youngster came round to my house. Full of problems. I listened and the next thing I was smoking and drinking.

      Maybe you really wanted to help but could not so AL + tobacco were (not) the answer. I had to get it through my thick skull that drinking etc. does not solve problems...it only makes them worse. Keep trying. We are here for you.

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        #4
        Two steps forward, five steps back

        Hello Elizabeth
        That has got to be the hardest thing when friends who smoke and drink are in trouble and need a deep and meaningful! Thats what friends are for right. And of course it is usually accompanied by self medication - smoking and drinking. I have given up both at the same time too and am just coming up to 2 months so thanks for the warning. I know that what you describe is exactly what could lead me back on the dark side! I cant sit still for 5 minutes being AF and NF so would not be a good shoulder to cry on. Anyway for whatever reason glad you are back.
        BH

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          #5
          Two steps forward, five steps back

          accountable ~ you r right

          The way I feel, and what I do, I wholly hope and believe that God will notice.

          I will be 50 years old next year. I drive a landrover, as I have for the last 26 years. I take folks who really want to feel Kenya and Tanzania. I walk with 7 year old kids of rich American families, them sure in the knowledge that I know what I am doing. A full herd of female and baby elephants.

          It is a natural process and something I love. I am not a raszst. I am a third generation white Kenyan, who openly gave up British citizenship. Who had the British gouvernment nag me.

          I know that a lot of what I am saying tonight is not understood.

          I know that lots of members are annoyed that I don't understand the problems and sheer heartache that exists in your part of the world.

          We in turn have stories to tell.

          What is important to us must be one thing. Can we talk and sort out problems both ENDS.
          A BushBaby with Attitude

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            #6
            Two steps forward, five steps back

            Elizabeth,

            I want to travel to Africa. I am serious. My friend just did it through REI and said it was great and well-planned. Any suggestions for me? I want to see the animals. I refuse to see a kill. All advice welcome.

            xoxo

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              #7
              Two steps forward, five steps back

              I have always loved you Elizabeth and always look forward to hearing from you. You have gained much wisdom from the bush. You did it for two months and I know you will do it again. Listen to the bush.
              Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

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                #8
                Two steps forward, five steps back

                Elizabeth,

                Oh, please, please know many of us here particularly LIKE you. We have heard your stories about your adoptive mother and her kindness and goodness. We were amazed at your spirit in taking on your birth mother and letting her last days on earth go with love and peace.

                There is no division between us when you speak of these things. These are universal feelings of all of us humans on this planet.

                While we cannot fully know everything about your life and Kenya and you cannot fully know everything about our lives wherever we are, humankind is so much more alike all over the planet, than different.

                I am so sorry you have found yourself falling back into old patterns. You can pull yourself back from it and will. I have no doubt.

                Please post and let us know when you need help and support in anyway. There will be many hands from all over this planet to pull you up. I have certainly experienced this, myself.

                Love,
                Cindi
                AF April 9, 2016

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                  #9
                  Two steps forward, five steps back

                  Elizabeth,
                  I think you are incorrect in stating you are not liked here. NO, I do not live in your part of the world but my father missionaries there every year for 1 month. Taking medicine, food, fun to the children in the bush. it is actaully quite a toll on his health as he is diabetic and has heart problems, but that is where God has lead him. We do not have to walk in each others shoes to under each others struggles. My life would be foreign to you...single mom, two children ,career, and battling alcoholism.....try getting two kids to baseball and volleyball and all I really wanna do is get a freaking glass of wine. My point is, we ALL walk different walks, but the struggle is just the same and your viewpoint to this site is invaluable. I personally look forward to hearing from you.
                  Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Two steps forward, five steps back

                    Elizabeth,
                    I am always grateful to see your posts. seem like an old friend. i know the feeling 2 steps forward 5 steps back, although for me it seems like 1 forward 10 back.....i feel your strength .....you can do anything
                    rudemama

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