I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

[jinja]

Last night I had some wine, ?only? 1.5 bottles so not a major bender. I was sitting next to the pool having a ciggy. It?s winter here so the water is friggin? cold. No tears, no self recrimination, no ?poor me?, I just wanted to jump in and never come up. Some part of my sane brain was working and I high tailed it inside and to bed.

Woke up this morning,????no blackouts?????full memory???..sad & frustrated.

I am so tired of thinking when and what and when????..and when???.I can drink. Counting days creates some strange pressure for me.

I can?t do that any more. AL will kill me, not by destroying my body, but the way it destroys my thinking, my brain chemistry.

Is this surrender??

I have never said ?never again?. I have never wanted to! But I do say it now??.
NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have an allergy????..period.

Thanks for listening.

Take care
Xxx

[boozehag]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

Hi Jinja
Thats it great attitude to have -just think about it like an illness - if you were a celiac you just wouldnt eat gluten as it would make you sick. Think of Al like that and it might help. I dont know if it is of any use to you but I notice you said you were smoking. I am coming up to 60 days AF and smoke free. I used champix the no smoking tablets for the first 30 days and they took the craving for both cigarettes and alcohol away long enough for me to get on the AF/NF roll. RJ mentions them in her blog as possibly used for AL only - they block the pleasure from cigs and AL - have a look at top right hand corner of home page.
Anyway best of luck.
BH

[FloridaBoy]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

:l I too am not counting days AF either. I just cannot tell when I have had 'enough' to drink. My brain has no AL off switch. So I have become a non-drinker. Moderation will never work for me. You can become a non-drinker too.

[Cinders]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

Jinja,

When I joined MWO, I tried at first to moderate. I read other books on it. I studied up, I carefully came up with a plan.

I could maybe moderate a day or two and then....

I have found that one or two drinks simply whets the appetite and does not alleviate the craving, actually intensifies it.

I have found that I am not the kind of person that enjoys obsessing over when, where, how much.

It is simply easier to stop. Not easy. Easier.

Love,
Cindi

[Evie.Lou]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

Screaming( never again) worked for me over 20 yrs. ago.I had nearly 17 yrs. sober before I lost it.I have 2 weeks this time and my mantra is NEVER AGAIN!!!!It worked for me once and I believe it will work again this time.I KNOW IT WILL.>>>>EVIE

[jinja]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

Boozehag - Yep, that's it. AL is just not an option. And yes, ciggies will go too - just not quite yet! Doing AL & ADs now, ciggies in a bit. Can't become a saint overnight, even if I believe that 99% of everything I say and do is perfect! :H

Florida, Cindi & Evielou - First day of the rest of my life starts here! :happy:

[Happier]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

This is a great way of looking at it! Kind of like a peanut allergy. Because Jinja, I feel like jumping in and not coming up too when drinking. Why do we think these thoughts when drinking?
I am trying to take all my supplements and get really serious about going AF.
Today is my first day and I don't want to count my days because then I just get obsessive about it.
If I had a peanut allergy I wouldn't say, "It's been 12 days since I had any nuts!"
I could say something when I get to a year or even months but days get to be too much for me.

I'm trying to titrate off of topa because I am too moody on it. So today I bought more glutamine and B complex and I have all the other supplements.

Thanks for this great post Jinja!

[Peanut]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

I shall try this "allergy" tack too - in fact, I have wondered about the allergy to some component in wine for a while - the past couple days, all hives and sneezing like crazy. I have been having alleries for the last year or two, and have yet to figure out what I am reacting to. These symptoms had sort of stopped earlier in the month when I was having more success with the AF days.

And I don't want to count days!!!! It is just too much!

Happier - Topa made you moody?? I am so waffling on the subject of taking it or not taking it. I wish someone could tell me what to do!!!!

Peanut

[IAD]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

My son as well as his grandfather are allergic to bees !! IAD !

[toughintexas]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

I posted in another thread, that I was going to concentrate on getting those winter extra pounds off...instead of focusing on "not drinking", I can't drink and loose weight, I need to get in shape to look good in my pool! So, you can't loose weight, and go cave and eat a gallon of Blue Bell ice cream, so you can't loose and drink a bunch of empty calories that convert to sugar either! So I'm on a DIET, of only healthy things going down the gullett....and AL isn't on my diet if I want to reach all my GOALS...so there AL, you just aren't on my diet! HA!

[FallenAngel]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

cindi;334028 wrote:
I have found that one or two drinks simply whets the appetite and does not alleviate the craving, actually intensifies it.

Thank you Cindi... perfectly said!
May I use this the next time someone asks me why I have turned down a glass of wine so graciously offered by them?

[FloridaBoy]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

Jinja you can :b&d: AL. We are on your side. :applaud:

[Cinders]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

Fallen,

Of course. I find most people understand anyway..

Especially if they have ever been with me while I was drinking..

Cindi

[bestlifeldms]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

Jinja,

I posted in another thread that it seems "those who quit have an event, person or time when something just CLICKS, and we say - NO MORE!"

Sounds like today was your day that it clicked!

Hugs, Best

[Heavenly]

I have a potentially fatal allergy……………………..

There is quite a well known male actor in the Uk around my age 40 - something anf he was being interviewed and he said he didn't drink alcohol because he was allergic to something in it...Good For him..we wouldn't necessarily tell everyone we had diabetes or heart problems ...so why should he have to admit he has alcohol problems.

He is dealing with it and getting on with his new life...good for you jinja...don't give up...

Heavenly