I am worried that I will do my old trick of acting all cool and calm until I can contain it no longer, and at one tiny suggestion (to me!) of criticism (perceived by me of course!) or advice-I-already-know (!), I will snap and lose my dignity completely.....
After a year sober with 6 months AF, months of wisdom, support and advice from everyone here, I am not looking forward to doing things around being 'taught' just how different a pint of vodka is to a pint of beer, filling in a drink-diary and discussing it with everyone, digging up the 'why we drink' subject (shared with you guys, not them), discussing 'alternatives to drink driving' (duh???? Don't drink!?!?!?!?) etc etc etc for 18 hours over three consecutive Fridays...... 6 hours a day?!?! 'Consequences of losing your licence'.....I think I could tell them more than they could tell me apart from the fact that not driving has completely sorted out my IBS!!! Sooooh much less stress on public transport (ok, I know I am lucky to live in a town) and I genuinely don't want to drive again. I enjoy walking - not rushing around in that road-mayhem helps my AF/sober-ness more than I can say.(Couldn't afford to anyway and we have two cars in the family anyway - my personal carbon footprint is brilliant! And maybe I have lost my nerve, but it is a nerve I am well employing elsewhere now and gladly!))
Sorry, I know it is just a 'sit there, smile and it'll soon pass' but I am just a bit twittery. Who might I know and all that...? Plus it majorly brings that whole damned year of crazy 'games' with alcohol back....I so wanted to leave it there behind me and, not ignore it or deny it, but just leave it in 2007 and not have to pick it up again and drag it along like a ball and chain. (For ball and chain read the crunching shame.)
I shall hang on to the wonderful strength gained here but not talk mention it - selfish maybe but it is too special - and, again, my fear is of anyone suggesting anything I perceive as 'neggy' about anywhere like here!
Arrogant aren't I...?! Thinking I wont learn anything. That it'll be stupid, 'learned-from-a-book' teaching rather than 'learned-from-experience' teaching (here)..... and, although I apologise in advance to those who it really helps, if there are AA tendencies.....eeeek!
Thanks for letting me dump.....I'll tell you all about it....maybe!!! (Sorry for the above being me, me, me - coz it really is I know.) Maybe someone has done one in the UK and can give me any tips....?
Love FMS xx
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