Well...... Wow-but-not-a-good-one......but I woz calm!
The strangest, oddest, most disconcerting, surreal 'course' I have ever been on! Actually, it was how I imagined it but had long put it out of my mind as I thought that would be (should be!) most unlikely and I was just being pompous...
A room of 17 people and the instructor....8 women and 9 men, aged from between 20 and 64. The positives were defintely that the folk were all energetic, had nice smiles, were nervous too, looked like they loved their kids..... The rest, (I wont say negatives) was....?????
I went in at 9am and a 'jovial' (polite version) bloke was banging away.....cracking 'jokes' every second including ones about not giving a monkey's how much anyone drank, he drank loads and wasn't it all a great joke.... (except with alcopops for youngsters - oh, good then!)
He talked for about three-quarters of an hour and then we had coffee! No one had been introduced to anyone and no one bothered to speak to anyone, just dived for their fags and coffees.... Then the chap talked for more and then we went around the room and said our names - a bit of communication and it was 11am! 3 other people had given up drinking after this....but when they mentioned it, boy, were they shut up quickly when they mentioned the fact - I thought then because, fair enough, this wasn't an AA meeting room.....but.....
It was clear that half the room knew each other, they had been there before, in the pub with them, in prison with them, in bed with them (?!) and just about everywhere else! And the order of the day was to tell the most outrageous stories about their drinking escapades that they could better each other with....and the tutor joined in!
We had a quarter of an hour for lunch and then had to go round and tell everyone what had happened to us 'that fateful moment' and in court.....I really didnt want to dig it all up so kept it short....and how tame I was! What some of them had gotten up to - plus assault etc.... OK, not judging on that here, but it was the laughing about it and everyone joining in - not me - that got to me. I felt angry inside at times because people were joking about situations that reminded me a bit about Bear.....sometimes just to say how stupid the law was about not giving people who do terrible things like that enough punishment, but I didn't see anyone taking it very seriously....
The tutor was an ex-cop and knew all the ins and outs of how 'dumb the cops are' and 'what you want to do is....'. He was being quite correct about the times it takes for a unit of alcohol to be removed from the system by the body, but it all seemed to be about 'starting to drink earlier' (and forgetting to remind the room to stop earlier and they didn't look like they could or would make that bit out for themselves!) and remembering not to drive the next morning 'after a bender'.... (He was at pains to tell us that he always got his wife to drive him to work if he'd 'had a few'.....)
The classic, and where I piped up (calmly!) that I had something to say.....was when he was instructing about our unit system.... Not sure about 'Over The Pond' but here in the UK we have a system that was set up in 1956 (!!!!)... Where women are considered able to drink 2-3 units and men 4-5 before intoxication (?!)....one unit being a 127ml glass of 8% wine (haven't seen a little glass like that since 1956! And 8% wine?!?), one pub measure of spirits (one sixth of a gill here) and one pint of 3.5% beer (most are 4.5%). So, after talking about counting in the pub and watching for waiters filling up your glass when you're not looking, he talked about drinking at home before going out or going to collect hubby from a party or whatever....Did anyone measure their drinks at home? "Now you might think this is a funny thing to say, but you know your best bet at home is to drink the whole bottle as then you'll know exactly how much you've had...because it's so hard to tell if you just keep topping your glass up....."Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! I waited for a sort of joke about that...nothing...so I said, "Um, guys, I don't think that's a very good idea (history, pot, kettle, black coming to mind...but!!) and you can measure it really easily by filling a kitchen measuring jug with water to 125ml and seeing where it comes up to in your usual glass...." (Looks of disbelief!) Not once did the tutor suggest that the individual might like to use a bit of personla resonsibility and decide whether or not they felt drunk!! Not once in the whole day. Even though he talked about how different people can take differing amounts.... I would have thought it was a great opportunity for a suggestion at least...?
Anyway, the guy looked very sheepish after I spoke and started back-pedalling like mad.....Good! My concern was that, with everyone chattering and laughing (grrr!), (and, um, shall I say, um, not being the most highly educated) they would only hear the words, "Drink the whole bottle" and think, great! Spirits and all. (Half of them were doing at least that on a daily basis anyway and proud of it...and the others were gazing at them in admiration.... and saying with that knowing nod of the head, "Alcoholics go to meetings anyway......"
Oh, it was 'sad'...... Just how many of them would end up at AA, here (if they were lucky!) or in a mortuary..... It was staggering just how much they thought they could drink and stay 'healthy'....how normal they thought their lives were. Because this seemed to be all about how much you could get down your throat and not get caught whilst driving....the tutor was clear it wasn't much at all....but certainly never suggested anything about, "Wow, don't you think that's a wee bit much...?" Just laughed...Huge beer gut and all that..... One guy (a long distance truck driver) said he drank spirits at home and the tutor held up a glass and said, "So I bet you don't measure it...? Where to? Here?", pointing out a spot about an inch up the glass... "No, to the top," said the guy. "Really?" "Yes." "Right, well do you know how many units that is? "4?" "No, about 10-12..." "Oh." So matter of fact..... The tutor might not truly be there to educate on the health aspect but you think he might have sounded a little surprised at the amount and the matter of fact way the guy said it....? But, no. Like the whole day, booze was the best thing since sliced bread, a real hoot, passing out was a laugh, everybody's hangovers were better then the next.....
And there are two more whole days of this.....two more Fridays..... At the end of which I will know precisely how to 'Drink and Drive' to a high standard, but just not at the same time or in the same 2-28 hours of each other..... (To not be able to drive for 28 hours means about a bottle of spirits - the fact that that amount was even mentioned?!??! Ok, Ok, (
) but to find that the whole room thought this was 'cool'....?!?!) No, it was, "I will be a 'champion drinker' and it'll all be a great laugh." (What a lost chance to suggest moderation?)
I do hope this tutor changes his tack a bit.... And very much that next week's 'installment' contains loads of positive and useful stuff! I'm not going to be all doom and gloom here - nothing worse than a 'reformed' anything after all!!!!!
I soooh thought of everyone here and the dignity and respect we have nurtured and encouraged in each other and ourselves and how different some of those on the course's lives might be.... But none of them have a problem....not one....(of course...)
So, there you have it.... Thanks God I'm here with you guys....I fetl so grateful every second - and at lunch break the first book I saw on the shelf (it being held above the library) was by HANNAH someone.....and then a great board outside emblazened with BETTY BOOP!!!! So, you were all with me...
And THANK YOU....every word helped. I was so touched...and will go in with a different feel next week.... (
)
Love FMS xxx
The strangest, oddest, most disconcerting, surreal 'course' I have ever been on! Actually, it was how I imagined it but had long put it out of my mind as I thought that would be (should be!) most unlikely and I was just being pompous...
A room of 17 people and the instructor....8 women and 9 men, aged from between 20 and 64. The positives were defintely that the folk were all energetic, had nice smiles, were nervous too, looked like they loved their kids..... The rest, (I wont say negatives) was....?????
I went in at 9am and a 'jovial' (polite version) bloke was banging away.....cracking 'jokes' every second including ones about not giving a monkey's how much anyone drank, he drank loads and wasn't it all a great joke.... (except with alcopops for youngsters - oh, good then!)
He talked for about three-quarters of an hour and then we had coffee! No one had been introduced to anyone and no one bothered to speak to anyone, just dived for their fags and coffees.... Then the chap talked for more and then we went around the room and said our names - a bit of communication and it was 11am! 3 other people had given up drinking after this....but when they mentioned it, boy, were they shut up quickly when they mentioned the fact - I thought then because, fair enough, this wasn't an AA meeting room.....but.....
It was clear that half the room knew each other, they had been there before, in the pub with them, in prison with them, in bed with them (?!) and just about everywhere else! And the order of the day was to tell the most outrageous stories about their drinking escapades that they could better each other with....and the tutor joined in!
We had a quarter of an hour for lunch and then had to go round and tell everyone what had happened to us 'that fateful moment' and in court.....I really didnt want to dig it all up so kept it short....and how tame I was! What some of them had gotten up to - plus assault etc.... OK, not judging on that here, but it was the laughing about it and everyone joining in - not me - that got to me. I felt angry inside at times because people were joking about situations that reminded me a bit about Bear.....sometimes just to say how stupid the law was about not giving people who do terrible things like that enough punishment, but I didn't see anyone taking it very seriously....
The tutor was an ex-cop and knew all the ins and outs of how 'dumb the cops are' and 'what you want to do is....'. He was being quite correct about the times it takes for a unit of alcohol to be removed from the system by the body, but it all seemed to be about 'starting to drink earlier' (and forgetting to remind the room to stop earlier and they didn't look like they could or would make that bit out for themselves!) and remembering not to drive the next morning 'after a bender'.... (He was at pains to tell us that he always got his wife to drive him to work if he'd 'had a few'.....)
The classic, and where I piped up (calmly!) that I had something to say.....was when he was instructing about our unit system.... Not sure about 'Over The Pond' but here in the UK we have a system that was set up in 1956 (!!!!)... Where women are considered able to drink 2-3 units and men 4-5 before intoxication (?!)....one unit being a 127ml glass of 8% wine (haven't seen a little glass like that since 1956! And 8% wine?!?), one pub measure of spirits (one sixth of a gill here) and one pint of 3.5% beer (most are 4.5%). So, after talking about counting in the pub and watching for waiters filling up your glass when you're not looking, he talked about drinking at home before going out or going to collect hubby from a party or whatever....Did anyone measure their drinks at home? "Now you might think this is a funny thing to say, but you know your best bet at home is to drink the whole bottle as then you'll know exactly how much you've had...because it's so hard to tell if you just keep topping your glass up....."Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! I waited for a sort of joke about that...nothing...so I said, "Um, guys, I don't think that's a very good idea (history, pot, kettle, black coming to mind...but!!) and you can measure it really easily by filling a kitchen measuring jug with water to 125ml and seeing where it comes up to in your usual glass...." (Looks of disbelief!) Not once did the tutor suggest that the individual might like to use a bit of personla resonsibility and decide whether or not they felt drunk!! Not once in the whole day. Even though he talked about how different people can take differing amounts.... I would have thought it was a great opportunity for a suggestion at least...?
Anyway, the guy looked very sheepish after I spoke and started back-pedalling like mad.....Good! My concern was that, with everyone chattering and laughing (grrr!), (and, um, shall I say, um, not being the most highly educated) they would only hear the words, "Drink the whole bottle" and think, great! Spirits and all. (Half of them were doing at least that on a daily basis anyway and proud of it...and the others were gazing at them in admiration.... and saying with that knowing nod of the head, "Alcoholics go to meetings anyway......"
Oh, it was 'sad'...... Just how many of them would end up at AA, here (if they were lucky!) or in a mortuary..... It was staggering just how much they thought they could drink and stay 'healthy'....how normal they thought their lives were. Because this seemed to be all about how much you could get down your throat and not get caught whilst driving....the tutor was clear it wasn't much at all....but certainly never suggested anything about, "Wow, don't you think that's a wee bit much...?" Just laughed...Huge beer gut and all that..... One guy (a long distance truck driver) said he drank spirits at home and the tutor held up a glass and said, "So I bet you don't measure it...? Where to? Here?", pointing out a spot about an inch up the glass... "No, to the top," said the guy. "Really?" "Yes." "Right, well do you know how many units that is? "4?" "No, about 10-12..." "Oh." So matter of fact..... The tutor might not truly be there to educate on the health aspect but you think he might have sounded a little surprised at the amount and the matter of fact way the guy said it....? But, no. Like the whole day, booze was the best thing since sliced bread, a real hoot, passing out was a laugh, everybody's hangovers were better then the next.....
And there are two more whole days of this.....two more Fridays..... At the end of which I will know precisely how to 'Drink and Drive' to a high standard, but just not at the same time or in the same 2-28 hours of each other..... (To not be able to drive for 28 hours means about a bottle of spirits - the fact that that amount was even mentioned?!??! Ok, Ok, (
) but to find that the whole room thought this was 'cool'....?!?!) No, it was, "I will be a 'champion drinker' and it'll all be a great laugh." (What a lost chance to suggest moderation?)I do hope this tutor changes his tack a bit.... And very much that next week's 'installment' contains loads of positive and useful stuff! I'm not going to be all doom and gloom here - nothing worse than a 'reformed' anything after all!!!!!
I soooh thought of everyone here and the dignity and respect we have nurtured and encouraged in each other and ourselves and how different some of those on the course's lives might be.... But none of them have a problem....not one....(of course...)
So, there you have it.... Thanks God I'm here with you guys....I fetl so grateful every second - and at lunch break the first book I saw on the shelf (it being held above the library) was by HANNAH someone.....and then a great board outside emblazened with BETTY BOOP!!!! So, you were all with me...
And THANK YOU....every word helped. I was so touched...and will go in with a different feel next week.... (
)Love FMS xxx
c: :heart:
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