June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

[lukalee]

This month my goal is to take responsibility for my own actions and stop blaming others for my stupidity

"Nothing can work damage to me except myself; the harm that I sustain I carry about me and never am a real sufferer except by my own fault."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

[lukalee]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. - Erica Jong

[KateH1]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Luka....Taking control of your life and not blaming others is a wonderful thing....but.....remember, don't blame yourself either! The past is the past, this is the present......move on, and work on doing what is best for YOU! Love yourself.......truly....love yourself and who you are becoming....you are growing and you will Thrive!!

XX Kate

[retteacher]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Luk: I'm one of those people who is very outer focussed on my loved ones. I'm looking out for thier welfare & emotional satisfaction. When I do that, I get lost. The drinking just made matters worse. Now that I've decided to go AF, I see that I must focus on myself & let others take responsibility for their own lives. That's the way it should be. Isn't putting other people before myself called Co-dependence? I think so.

Thank you for starting this thread. It made me think. Mary

[lookingforhope22]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Luka thats a great goal!:goodjob: a wise person once told me everytime you blame someone for your actions you give your power away - I dont think there is anything bad about being wrong but blaming someone else justifys to us that we can do it again and temporarily feel some relief. Humbly accepting that we are wrong makes us wiser and we learn for the next time. Its tuff because we are always trying to protect ourselves and making mistakes in our society means to us that we are worthless and weak. If we could put in another perceptive i.e. we are learning and its perfectly normal to be wrong we would deal with it better.

retteacher yes it is called co-dependency i have lived in that state most of my life always worrying about the outer world until it became very clear to me that the reason i do it is so i can avoid my own issues. When that problem is fixed then i move onto the next this give me a sense of temporary satisifaction, until i end up completely exhausted. Now i check myself often to make sure im not giving my energy away for the wrong reasons. Another wise person told me make sure your cup is always full - this is hard for me but im working on it

[Eastender]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Hi Lukalee,
Kate ,Reteacher and looking are so right.

I have been a people pleaser for too long, I am learning to let go. To love yourself you have to be a little selfish, if you don't love you,how can you expect anyone else to?
My other half has always said that I had an "in for me" complex, I always blamed myself for anything that happened. I now realise that that does no one any good especially me.
I am responsible for my own happiness,to try and make EVERYONE else happy is just not possible. You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.
Take care of yourself Lukalee, Don't blame yourself for anything, it does nothing, just analise, IF wrong, admit it (if only to yourself )learn and move on. We have such limited time on this earth.
You will then make you happy.:l

Eastx

[Sweet Cheeks]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Great thread.

I don't think I blame anybody for my actions. I started drinking to excess when my mum died nearly 3 years ago - I don't blame her, but I blame the situation. Like you I need to get a grip. It's MY problem and nobody but me is going to be able to do anything about it.

I hope we can have the strength to get through this together. Good luck

Cheeks

[Evie.Lou]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

When I stopped blaming others for my short comings I suddenly felt like a grown up for the first time in my life....SO EMPOWERING !!!!!GREAT DECISION......EVIE

[dexterhead]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Thank you Luk!! You are so right.

[livingfree]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Luka - I see a shift coming! Way to go.

Liv

[Thankful]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Quoted By Lukalee

This month my goal is to take responsibility for my own actions and stop blaming others for my stupidity

Luka, I think this is so key for the success of many here. Some posts about slips start with an issue that someone else's actions caused them to drink. I have found that that is impossible. No other person can make us drink. We use them as excuses because we want to drink. If we blame others, it's easier for us to think that it's not our fault we drank. Well, that's a big fat lie. I blamed a lot of my drinking on my family (who drink very heavily all the time). They could cause unbelievable triggers and I always drank "because of them". No one poored that booze down my throat but me. They still drink and they still cause me a great deal of stress on a daily basis. Do I drink because of it? No. I control my actions. No one else does.

Mary, your post really hit home for me. I have always been the nurturer in my family. I don't know how I got that job, but I have had it. I want to quit. I've run out of band-aids for everyone. They have to heal themselves. Fix their own problems. I have ignored me for too long. But I can't blame anyone for that either. I did that to myself too.

Great thread Luka. You've really helped me by posting this. I wish you the best in reaching your goals.

Love, Me

[lukalee]

June 2 - Taking responsibility for MY actions

Does this Count.....

for a good day of not blaming (I normally just blame in my head; I don't actually blame people for my faults.)

"He may be an asshole, but you can't blame him for falling for his shit!" :H