Any tips?

[vlad]

What I'm completely fed up of is...

Thinking about alcohol every day. Even dreaming about the stuff - either about drinking it or trying to obtain it. I once dreamt I kept a giant vodka bottle at work, then I dreamt I was getting beer out of the drinks machine. I dream a lot, in a recent dream I dreamt I was drinking liquor I found at work but was disappointed because it wasn't vodka. Last night I dreamt about people drinking beer with breakfast. ARRRRRRGH!

It doesn't stop there. My husband bought me a fantastic hot air balloon trip for my birthday. When he gave me the envelope and discovered there was champagne at the end to celebrate the flight, that was all I could think about! For goodness sake, the hot air balloon trip was way better than drinking champagne!!! We are going to Croatia soon and my husband is looking forward to going snorkelling... all I can think about is drinking Karlovachko!!!

[boozehag]

Any tips?

I think while we are all on here we will be thinking about it a lot. The difference I find now is I think about not drinking rather than thinking about actually drinking or planning the next drink. I suppose I am thinking about drink objectively now rather than subjectively or obsessively. It is a subtle change but a good one as now instead of focusing on the next drinking session I think about all the good things I can do tomorrow when I dont drink and after a while the good stuff so far outweighs the bad shit that comes with drinking. After a while you realise that what is in that glass of champagne (and I was a major bubbles worshiper!) gives you nothing good only bad and then worse.
Not sure if that helps but you need to get the tools to change your mindset. I found those here hopefully you can too.
BH

[Captnjack]

Any tips?

Hey V I think a great book that helped me to strip down the "illusion" of drink funny enough the one with the Crappiest title " Easy way To Stop Drinking by Allen Carr" He does really put the Little blighter in the CORRECT perspective. I have 2 copies only need one PM me if you want the other copy ( accidently put x2 when ordering) its yours for free
Love cAP

[beatle]

Any tips?

I agree, changing mindset is key-- but easier said than done.

I used to do the same as you, vlad, everything was about alcohol. Yes, I dreamt about it too, sometimes they were good dreams (like beer coming out of a vending machine) and sometimes nightmares (like forgetting where I hid the last bottle).

Of course I looked forward to all my holidays, because then it would be legit to drink every night, and even in the daytime, yippee!

And although I came to a point where I wanted desperately to not want to drink, it was like the switch in the rational section of my brain would turn off and the switch in the autopilot, spontaneous section of my brain would turn on... and even while I was telling myself how much I loved being sober, and how I never wanted to drink again, I would be walking into the liquor store and picking up a half litre of vodka.

I've been working for 18 months of REALLY trying to quit (I knew I had a problem for many years, but didn't get deadly serious about quitting till then). It takes a lot of trying, not just willpower, but trying out different approaches (or attack methods), using all the tools that work for you and discarding those that don't.

I have slowly moved towards being AF, taking two steps forward, one and three-quarters backward-- it's slow progress, but it is progress.

The changing of the mindset is key, but if you keep trying and keep progressing, I think the changing of mindset will be part of that whole process.

[vlad]

Any tips?

beatle;339970 wrote: I agree, changing mindset is key-- but easier said than done.

I used to do the same as you, vlad, everything was about alcohol. Yes, I dreamt about it too, sometimes they were good dreams (like beer coming out of a vending machine) and sometimes nightmares (like forgetting where I hid the last bottle).

Thanks, it's so good to know I'm not the only person who's had crazy dreams!!! I guess I'm just impatient - I want it all to be over NOW!!! I have found trying to focus my interest's elsewhere helps for a limited period of time. I just know that whilst I feel this way I am vulnerable and more inclined to slip up.

[Doggygirl]

Any tips?

Hi Vlad and welcome again! I read your journal entry in "Tell Us Your Story yesterday, and also your entries in the Getting Started section. It's clear that you have put a lot of thought and effort into getting control of this wicked Beast over the years.

I know exactly what you mean about AL talking over our minds...all thought patterns lead to AL no matter what is going on in the day. Your example of the hot air balloon is perfect. I can't even count the number of vacations and even mundane day to day activites where the central focus ended up "and I can have a drink and X point....make sure not to forget the booze in the camper".....etc. etc.

It sound from "Your Story" that you feel you have had some recent success moderating. I suppose the question I have is ...... Is moderating worth it, if it's a daily battle to NOT drink, with drinking on your mind a lot of the time? Only YOU can know if moderation is right for you. I don't know that there is anything that can take us from extremely persistend drinkin' thinkin' to peaceful moderation - where we can have A drink (not 10) on occassion, and not think much of it the rest of the time.

I got tired of fighting the beast, so I'm working on an Alcohol Free life. Not saying that's what you should do...just sharing my story. I am personally more at peace this way - despite it being early in the game for me and still a battle of sorts. It gets easier every day and I know a year from now and two years from now, etc. life will be OH so much better.

Not to mention the poisonous nature of AL on our bodies physically - which you know from first hand experience! I'm 50 and if I stayed on the drinking path ......not pretty.

Best wishes as you find your way!! We are all here to help and support each other.

DG
***************
Day 15 AF

[brittzak]

Any tips?

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am sick and tired of the thought as well. I had 8 sober months last year and eventually caved because the cravings never left me, the thought never left. I am going to the Lenair Healing center this month. My goal is to come out not obsessing about alcohol any more. Has worked for many on this site.

[vlad]

Any tips?

Doggygirl;339978 wrote: I suppose the question I have is ...... Is moderating worth it, if it's a daily battle to NOT drink, with drinking on your mind a lot of the time?

This is a question I have asked myself.

[Mad Mummy]

Any tips?

I agree with the dream thing - but I find that when I do drink (and get drunk as always follows) I don't dream. so perhaps haven't actually dreamt properly for many years - maybe it's your subconcious trying to rid your brain of its bad habit of wanting AL???

Just a thought

[vlad]

Any tips?

Doggygirl;339978 wrote: ....make sure not to forget the booze in the camper".....etc. etc.

Ha, ha, ha... I always had to make sure my husband had packed my vodka for our camping trips... I don't take it with me anymore, a couple of nasty experiences...

[Evie.Lou]

Any tips?

When you are in the depts of AL addiction it is all consuming....Every thought is consumed with it.....The dreams really suck.I would wake up in a panic thinking that I had been drinking during the night...They only lasted the first few nights for me....Trust me things do get better and better the longer that you go AF....Stay close and I look forward to your posts!!!! EVIE

[vlad]

Any tips?

Mad Mummy;340013 wrote: I agree with the dream thing - but I find that when I do drink (and get drunk as always follows) I don't dream. so perhaps haven't actually dreamt properly for many years - maybe it's your subconcious trying to rid your brain of its bad habit of wanting AL???

Just a thought

The dreams did stop for a while but in the last few months they've started again. Admittedly I rarely dream when drunk - probably because I'm unconscious.

[vlad]

Any tips?

evielou;340018 wrote: I would wake up in a panic thinking that I had been drinking during the night...

I used to think that too!!! :H

[Kimberley]

Any tips?

Sooooo familiar...but some of it in the past

I am over 3 weeks AF - the longest ever in my adult life - and am going for a year in a bid to 'beat' the alky mindset. I have tried 3 weeks off then attempting to moderate X amount of times and it always led down the same path. Good for a while, then spiralling out of control after a while longer. This was because- no matter how hard I tried - all the old alkie habits were still ingrained there. Eg. feeling deprived if I couldn't have a drink, openly drinking wine sensibly but going for secret shots on between, drinking faster than everyone else, planning drinks for all activities (even if only one), hair of the dog (or three).

Three weeks just wasn't long enough and apparently for you, maybe even 8 months isn't long enough. I am giving myself a year AF just to have a goal, but if by that time I am still obsessing about AL then I will go another year AF and so on.

One tip re the cravings - I have kicked sugar at the same time as I quit alcohol and although I had crippling headaches for 3 weeks, they have now stopped and in that time and now I have hardly craved al AT ALL. This is a major bonus for me, as when I did 3-wk detox on my usual diet, I was crazy with cravings, and since I couldn't have al, I was eating mountains of sugar. And that just made it worse in the long-run. I couldn't do a year like that!

Although I have no cravings during the day, I do have dreams about Al most nights. In these dreams Al is always a neutral or good thing. But when I was drinking, I would have the most awful guilt-ridden dreams. Like my family hated me or I could not control myself. Clearly this was an underlying thing about al, although not explicit in the dream.

Anyway, you are right to think seriously about whether you can moderate. Maybe you can, but maybe that is three years, five years down the line. It can only come when you've stopped obsessing and can take it or leave it, no sooner or you may be headed for a fall. Good luck with your journey.

[vlad]

Any tips?

Absolutely right...

Kimberley;340227 wrote:
Anyway, you are right to think seriously about whether you can moderate. Maybe you can, but maybe that is three years, five years down the line. It can only come when you've stopped obsessing and can take it or leave it, no sooner or you may be headed for a fall. Good luck with your journey.

You are absolutely right - at this stage I am vulnerable, but my obessions are no where near as bad as they have been. I seem to have got past the stage of sulking because I'm unable to have a drink... sort of...