Phases of Recovery

[Cinders]

Hello, everyone. I am thinking about the different phases we go through. It seems like there are definite patterns. I hope that some of the long termers will add their viewpoint.

I think having a head's up for newbies and those still in the early stages could be very helpful.

First Step, being so miserable that we overcome the FEAR all of us seem to have when we think about not drinking. Fear seems to be a huge hurdle to the first day.

Days 1-10, For most not too bad, sleeplessness the biggest thing. For some horrible withdrawals but by day 10 almost eveyone is feeling better.

10-30, "Pink Cloud" feelings for most. You are still excited about the AF goals and able to brush away thoughts of drinking fairly easily.

It does seem 30 days is a huge hurdle. Lots of people fall out at this point. I know I have several times.

30-60, Starting to realize that, while this is doable, hmmm, you still think of drinking and the desires can be a little more difficult to deal with. Seems like other issues arise here, too, like depression, feeling flat, bipolar shows up, etc. I know personally, the urges at this stage are more difficult than they were the first 30.

******

I can't add more. Haven't ever gotten that far, really, got close but blew it.

Anybody want to jump in with the 60-90 phase and what they have felt/observed?

Thanks!!
Cindi

[beatle]

Phases of Recovery

I'm sorry (I really am) that I have not got that far yet. I usually break down at the 2 or 4-week marks, having only made 6 weeks once. In general though, my pattern has been that when I am feeling really good is when I slip, because I have convinced myself I am able to moderate, or just have one. So for me, I have to be on guard when I 'm feeling my best.

Tomorrow is 30 days for me... wish me luck!

[flyinhigh]

Phases of Recovery

Cindi-
Thanks for posting this...I agree once you hit 30, it kind of feels like "phew...I made that, now what?" For some of us that came here to be AF, the journey continues.....for others that came here to be MOD, it could take a turn, depeneding on the person....either way, the 30 is the way to go!
And on that note, precongratulation to Beetle!!!! You'll have a great day tomorrow!!! Enjoy!!!! Great job!!!
xo
flyin'

[Captnjack]

Phases of Recovery

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa....all the luck in the world to you B I love your posts youre honesty is very inspiring THANKS.
cap

[Cinders]

Phases of Recovery

How will we know??

Beatle,

Last edited by beatle : Today at 10:05 AM. Reason: believe me, you'll be glad I did.

How can we be glad if we don't know what you edited?

Sending luck your way for tomorrow! Yay!!

Cindi

[hippie37]

Phases of Recovery

For crying out loud Cindi, I can barely remember what I had for my breakfast let alone what changed for me after 60-90 days!!lol. That short term memory loss is a bugger to overcome. Too many damaged brain-cells me thinks!!

One thing I would like to point out though is that; at some point after a few months, I stopped obsessing over buying or drinking alcohol. I don't know exactly at what stage this happened as I was totally unaware it had happened (the way it should be). But my guess is it was around the 60-90 day phase.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Cinders]

Phases of Recovery

Hippie,

That is a great addition!! So 60-90 means a gradual lessening of the obsession.

Thank you!! Lots of us needed to hear that.

Love,
Cindi

[KateH1]

Phases of Recovery

Cindi,
I think this is a great topic!

Living as a non-drinker is most definitely better than drinking.....period! 30 Days is truly a milestone and a solid beginning. But, and here is the BUT. It is important to know that what we are experiencing is Normal/Common and to be expected, so that we do not think that something is wrong.

For me 30 days was a challenge, each and every day! Then the urges began to fade, but did not disappear, but were far easier to keep in check. At close to 90 days, my emotions began to surface and scatter all over the place! I wondered if I was bi-polar???? It was not bi-polar, it was becoming aware of my feelings and the new task at hand of learning to handle those feelings without alcohol!!! I seriously thought of seeking some sort of anti-anxiety meds.........but, decided to deal with it through natural means instead. (I have no idea if that was a good or bad idea???LOL) I am now at five months, I still on occasion get the idea of a drink or two........but, it passes quickly. I am learning how to deal with these urges a lot better now! I consider it no different from dealing with any other negative emotions.....like jumping out of my car and beating the crap out of somone who cuts me off in traffic!!!!LOL......it is all about self control......right?

I love being a non-drinker!!!

XXX Kate

[Cinders]

Phases of Recovery

Kate,

Thank you, too!!

I do think it is so valuable to be aware of these things. You guys blazing the trail are our mentors in this.

Looking very much forward to the lessening of the thoughts and the ability to know it is just an irritant.

Love,
Cindi

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Phases of Recovery

Cindi-

Thank you SO much for starting this thread. It is truly what I need to hear. I am back on Antabuse and on day 3. I have only made as much as 26 days AF. I get going, feel really great about it, but the nagging desire to drink is there at night, and because I feel so great I think..."I am ok, and if I fall back into it, I can do this again...I just can't stand the obsession every night, so I will drink". I need to know for sure that there are predictable stages that we go through, and that if we ride through them, we WILL continue to progress. That is why it helps so much to hear from those ahead of me (not hard to find these folks, unfortunately).

Thanks...Keep it going Cindi...YOU are now MY mentor!!

Beth

[Beck]

Phases of Recovery

Cindi,

I think many of us go through the same stages but perhaps at different times in our recovery.

For me, the first 30 days I just held on by my fingernails. A real struggle.
The next stage was the emotional roller coaster. I too thought I might be bi-polar - I was really all over the map emotionally.
I recall that at Day 80 it occurred to me that I had to deal with my issues rather than relying on AL to mask them. This was particularly tough time for me and it made me want to run and hide with AL again. Instead I faced up and discovered that I handled myself well - it was a real confidence booster.

I am at 4 months now and am still having some drinking thoughts. Seems normal from all I've read. I just deal with them as they come and don't cave. For me, it is all about choices. Make good ones and I get to feel good about myself. My friends at MWO have helped me see that I have become complacent lately - and I'm working on that.

Beck

[bestlifeldms]

Phases of Recovery

Cindi,

As for 60-90 days. I am just 60 days today. I feel better each day. I notice a difference in the way I look, (hair, nails, skin) except for the !@#$ poison ivy I presently have. Just got a shot of Pregnisone in the behind and will take pills for the next 15 days. My legs look a sight from my butt down. But, all in all, I am extremely happy being AF. Everything in my life is better.

Hugs and support to all!

Best

[beatle]

Phases of Recovery

I don't really look at 30 days as a significant marker because I intend to be AF for life. So I don't expect anything to feel different one way or the other tomorrow. (But maybe I will celebrate when it's one year AF =)

I just came from a difficult meeting with some difficult personalities, and my normal pattern would be to rush home and take a stiff drink to calm me down. Of course I didn't, although I did think about it. I thought about it good and long all the while knowing there was no way I would. By the time I pulled into the driveway I had completely forgotten about it.

I'm just looking forward to the day when I don't even begin thinking about it.

[4theboyz]

Phases of Recovery

From what I have been able to piece together and I want to make clear is from strictly a novice's point of view, goals are very important in order to keep on track. We all have our day 1, day 2, week 1, week 2, one month and 2 month mile stones and they require goals with fresh new goals added at each mile stone.

So from my own personal experience you need to constantly have goals in place and the one goal you *can't* have is that "just one" after X number of days. Bad goal, *very bad* goal!

I also believe staying AF will be something that will have to be a constant and present part of your life for as long as you wish to remain AF. My friend from college is my one real life inspiration and he still goes to AA meetings twice a week even after 18 years of sobriety.

To think about it is to remember the pain!

4tb

[beatle]

Phases of Recovery

Cindi, I cut the last 5 paragraphs off of that edited post... you should be glad for that.