Completly frustrated-UGH

[ready2change]

Completly frustrated-UGH

Hi Nancy...I have seen several of your posts and your advice and just wonder if you want to "share" where you are on your alcohol journey? It might help to put some of your responses into perspective.

No judgement here, as I'm still struggling to be AF...just curious where you are in your journey.

[livingfree]

Completly frustrated-UGH

Hey Beth - your not a downer - this is the place to vent your frustrations. Try logging on to rational.org ~ There is a slide presentation that you should look at. It sure lifted a LOAD off of me when I went through it. I also read his book ... rational recovery and it has some great things in it also.

Love to you sweetie

[Determinator]

Completly frustrated-UGH

Beth, big hugs for you dear XXXXXX

you wanna start checking in on Monthly AB's with us crazies? or 30 days? like a daily "kick start"?

Ditto what Cindi said about kicking al out of the house...it's a big help.

[AMELIA]

Completly frustrated-UGH

Beth, I too understand where you are coming from. Are you still taking the Antabuse or have you stopped completely?
I know that my morning head (as far a drinking) is completely different to my evening head (where I may be thinking about it). So I make sure I take that tablet early in the morning so there is NO WAY I can drink later on. Plus, I find that fact that Antabuse builds up in our system quite useful too. I must admit, occasionally I have thought,....maybe I can have a drink tomorrow, then remember that it takes over a week to get out of my system.
When I have those thoughts, I am doing a little of what Massai talked about - reflecting on what emotional or environmental trigger is putting the idea of drinking into my head.
It's very interesting to be observing my own thought processes (considering I have spent so long just drinking to avoid doing that).
If Antabuse is the one that has worked for you, keep taking it - every day, day in and day out. Then see if you can try to get to the bottom of why you keep on getting the urge to drink - if you have decided it is not for you.
I know it can be hard,...I have had some difficult moments too.

[nancy]

Completly frustrated-UGH

To Ready for Change

I would say that I am still struggling to achieve moderation.
I know a lot more since stumbling over this site but I am not on or intend to be on the abstinent side of the fence. It does strike me that people who are not like me, who accept that they are not going to drink ever, seem to bypass a lot of misery.

Nancy

[KateH1]

Completly frustrated-UGH

ohhhhh, Beth, my dear friend......I just read this, as I have had a really busy weekend and am just now checking in. My heart is breaking for you, I know that you want this madness to end. I want it to end for you. You will get it done...we just need to get this figured out! I have appointments this morning, but I will pm you later. Hang in there.....this too shall pass.

Nancy, for me, it was easier just to stop. For me, modding was torture, pure torture and that is not what modding is. Modding is not a struggle. True modding is being able to handle alcohol as we do any other beverage, take it or leave it, no struggle. And, you are absolutely right, going the non-drinking route, does indeed bypass a lot of misery.

Kate

[Cinders]

Completly frustrated-UGH

I so agree that for some of us, modding is sheer hell. In my case, moderation is WORSE than abstinence because I didn't drink for the relaxation, enjoyment, etc. I drank for effect. Period.

One or two doesn't give you the effect. At all. It take 6 or 10 and liver disease.

Beth, how are you doing today? Sending you lots of positive vibes.

Have you considered any kind of professional help? I think you need to look at your own true needs here. I know you are not the type of alcoholic I am and maybe need to look at alternatives to what you have been doing.

Don't be your own doctor.

Just know, Beth, we all care and will support you. If you choose the Antabuse, please do it all out. Every morning, when the evening hits and you are mad at yourself for taking it, just laugh and say "Oh, well" that is what I do when I get those horrible "wishes."

But they are just wishes and the days when they hit are much farther between. Sometimes it hits you right between the eyes and your mind plays the game but other times you feel such pride because you are beating this and it feels good.

I just don't want you to use the Antabuse here and there, drink over it and hurt yourself. :l

Love,
Cindi

[Jersey girl]

Completly frustrated-UGH

I am just starting out today.Had a long weekend with my brothers and sister we drank all the time.
I am getting my naltrexone today. 4 years ago with the help of this drug I didn't drink for 14 months.
Now I back drinking almost everyday. I am sick of hangovers. I just want to be normal. My husband drinks but has control, he doesn't drink during the week. I would like to be able to have glass of wine on the weekend and wake up with out a hangover.No one has told me to take these steps.I just know it is time.