Hello all

[amashed]

Hi everyone,
Sorry I haven?t posted for a while, I lapsed the last time I posted (about 6 weeks ago) and then again 2 weeks ago. I felt a bit like I let everyone down so logged off the site and took stock. The massive scare I had last year seemed to do the trick for 3 months and then?..well then I thought I could handle it and in keeping with my history decided that weaker, less alcohol I could cope with.

HA! In 4 weeks I had 2 massive binges that culminated in Vodka, wine, sickness, absences from work and hiding sneaking running out to get more alcohol in the mornings while all the time adding 6-15 beers into the mix. Didn?t feel too great after that, to be honest.

So I?ve been AF free now for about 10 days and intend to keep that going. Although I wasn?t logged on I was reading and I want to thank whoever linked the Chief thread. There was a line ? something like ?just don?t even get in the ring, don?t enter a fight you can?t win?. Something like that. It has become a bit of a mantra, one that I can really relate to.

So having cleared my head a bit I decided to log back on to (again) thank you all and let you know what has been happening. I?m at the stage that I?m feeling better (I slept for about 48 hours on the comedown) and I?m positive right now. Physically I am feeling better and I?m feeling stronger about resisting temptation than I ever have before. I know I?m susceptible but ?don?t enter a fight you can?t win? keeps going round and round my little brain!

So thank you :l for the help and sorry for the absence, I just needed a little time and I hope that the decision that I have taken is one I stick to.

Amashed.

[AMELIA]

Hello all

Hey Amashed,
Congrats on you 10 days AF.
It sounds like you have found a new way to look at the booze with your 'dont enter a fight that you can't win'. Bear had another good one that went something like 'stop trying to control the uncontrollable' which I have found quite useful to repeat to myself.
Good to see you back.

[brittzak]

Hello all

Amashed,
You can come here whether you are AF or not! As a matter of fact, it is helpful to you to come when you need the support the most. Please come any time!!!!! AND good for you, 10 days is awesome.

[Doggygirl]

Hello all

Congrats on 10 days AF amashed! Boy you and I have a lot in common. Feeling like we need to stay away when we fall, and also making that mistake of "I can control it now" and the ULTRA fast slide back into the dark pit as a result of that thinking.

It feels so good to pull back out of that pit, doesn't it? Keep it going - hope to get to know you better!

DG
Day 18 AF - hopefully for the very last time!
******************

[happydog]

Hello all

Hi Amaashed,
Glad to see you back and well done on 10days AF......
Yes....chief thread , that has stuck in my head as well. Everyweek when i go to my group sessions makes me realize not to go into the ring.(the damage AL does!) there are two people there one with brain damage and a young lady who cant walk very well on one leg, because of AL....YES IT MAKES ME THINK HOW MANY ROUNDS DOES IT TAKES TO REALIZE WHAT PERMIT DAMAGE AL DOES TO US.

LOVE
tTeadrop.x

[beatle]

Hello all

Welcome back amashed. Yours is a familiar pattern. VERY familiar to me, anyway. I think many of us have to go through the success-and-failure cycle numerous times before we really and truly "get it". I have done exactly what you did about 12 times over the past 2 years. Hopefully I've finally got it now.

Another kind of mantra, one that has helped me, I got from this site about a year ago (I don't remember who wrote it): "It's easier to stay out than to get out" (or was it "It's harder to get out than to stay out"?).

I try to remember my awful detoxing periods whenever I am tempted to have a drink.

Another thing that is keeping me on a straight line is to think about my last crash (in which I lost my job and almost lost my family and broke my hand, too)... when I recall that, I seem to recoil from the bottle.

[louise]

Hello all

Welcome back and good going on the 10 AF. I think the one by Chief has helped many. How does something get to be a sticky?

[greeneyes]

Hello all

10 days!!! Good on you!

[betty boop]

Hello all

Amashed, I wondered where you were ..........

Lovely to see you back .........

Keep up the good work ...........

BB xx

[cuckoosnest83]

Hello all

Amashed, welcome back.

[jessie]

Hello all

Hi Amashed,
Congratulations, you are doing great. I also do the back sliding thing, but someday and somewhere the truth is going to stick with you and me and everyone like us: - we cannot drink alcohol!
Best to you
Jessie