Back from Lenair!
Hi all, I am back..
Meeting Rhonda Lenair was a wonderfully liberating experience that is extremely hard to put into words. I am at peace and for the first time in over 20 years, I am content and whenever I catch my reflection in a mirror I have this idiotic smile frozen on my face. I am still somewhat walking on cotton and everything has a sort of surreal edge to it.
I have no desire to drink, although it does cross my mind at certain times of the day, but it is more in an observatory fashion, almost as if I were a specimen in a Petri dish that needs to be watched. I have total recollection of everything I did the night before ? my mood, my environment, the familiar sounds, the news, the smells and tastes, the tasks at hand and even the array of fleeting thoughts at a given moment. I guess that is what one experiences when fully alive.
I have learned a lot about myself that deep down I probably knew already instinctively. The harsh reality of keeping my system submerged in a haze of alcohol did not allow me to meet myself at any positive level other than self-loathing.
I have met myself in more ways than one and I can gently hug and welcome myself like an old friend who has been gone for a long time. I can only hope and pray that I can finally enjoy every aspect of me and yes, I am good enough just the way I am.
The evening after the first session I did have a huge anxiety attack concerning the fact that I have to come home to an unaltered situation, namely the fact that my husband is still drinking. How would I cope with this obstacle? All the triggers that tripped me up in the past are still there and I was petrified and all the negativity started to flood back in.
I brought this up during my next session and Rhonda simply stated that it is a non-issue because I had already, so to speak , ?left the table?.
I feel that an immense gift has been bestowed on me and I have every intention to carry this gift around like the proverbial ?raw egg in hand?.
Lastly I would like to thank RJ for having the courage and foresight to found this website and for all of you who have extended their hand in support and friendship which gave me the resolve to finally seek help. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I am immensely grateful.
Love Lori
Hi all, I am back..
Meeting Rhonda Lenair was a wonderfully liberating experience that is extremely hard to put into words. I am at peace and for the first time in over 20 years, I am content and whenever I catch my reflection in a mirror I have this idiotic smile frozen on my face. I am still somewhat walking on cotton and everything has a sort of surreal edge to it.
I have no desire to drink, although it does cross my mind at certain times of the day, but it is more in an observatory fashion, almost as if I were a specimen in a Petri dish that needs to be watched. I have total recollection of everything I did the night before ? my mood, my environment, the familiar sounds, the news, the smells and tastes, the tasks at hand and even the array of fleeting thoughts at a given moment. I guess that is what one experiences when fully alive.
I have learned a lot about myself that deep down I probably knew already instinctively. The harsh reality of keeping my system submerged in a haze of alcohol did not allow me to meet myself at any positive level other than self-loathing.
I have met myself in more ways than one and I can gently hug and welcome myself like an old friend who has been gone for a long time. I can only hope and pray that I can finally enjoy every aspect of me and yes, I am good enough just the way I am.
The evening after the first session I did have a huge anxiety attack concerning the fact that I have to come home to an unaltered situation, namely the fact that my husband is still drinking. How would I cope with this obstacle? All the triggers that tripped me up in the past are still there and I was petrified and all the negativity started to flood back in.
I brought this up during my next session and Rhonda simply stated that it is a non-issue because I had already, so to speak , ?left the table?.
I feel that an immense gift has been bestowed on me and I have every intention to carry this gift around like the proverbial ?raw egg in hand?.
Lastly I would like to thank RJ for having the courage and foresight to found this website and for all of you who have extended their hand in support and friendship which gave me the resolve to finally seek help. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I am immensely grateful.
Love Lori
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