Newbies Unite, June 08'

[JMT]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Whitemarshmom, wow you and I both spilled the beans about ourselves today didn't we? There is a feeling of relief with that though don't you think? To bare your soul is so very painful but theraputic. Thank you for opening up, I see ALOT in your post that I can relate to. My daughter turning 2 in February has already picked up on seeing a beer bottle and saying "No touch, Mommy's drink." now THAT was awful for me and hubby was there when she did it. That happened Tuesday night, the night I had my last drink. Do what you have to, to get through this we are here and you know that. Baby steps, right, baby steps......at least you are taking them!

Cadence, yes I get your name! :0) I'm sorry about your girlfriend that must be so difficult. I see what I put my husband throught and the shame and guilt is just well horrible. We are planning on a long ride tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes, 100+ I haven't been that conditioned in awhile but I can get back there and so can you!

[SunDaisy]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Welcome Cadence

Welcome to MWO. Another newbie! Goes to show us all how big our problem is and how many people it affects. It is nothing to be ashamed of and I'm so happy we finally have all found a place we can be open and honest about it and share our challenges and sucesses.

Good luck to all!

Sun

[JMT]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Hey Sun, your name descibes you perfectly I can tell by your post! Thank you for being so.....Sunny! :0)
Well made it through day 3 hubby bought a Wii fit board can't wait to use it once munchkin goes to bed. Weekends are usually so difficult but with this killer headache I have right now, wouldn't want any anyway!
Hope everyone has a good weekend!!

[SunDaisy]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Thanks Cuddles, I like your name too.... For my "handle" I figured I better pick a more positive one so I could set off on the right foot here. Mind over matter, right? I think the alcohol created a person inside me who wasn't really me....a negative, grumpy person who couldn't enjoy life and figuratively and literally drowned out all of the good in life. That is NOT me and I won't let that happen. My kids deserve more than that and so do I.

Thanks to all of you on MWO who have been there for me so far. 12 days and I haven't had one regret!

Sun

[Sam Handwich]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Hello Friends ~

I haven't been posting for a week or so (I think). Today is day 14 AF for me, but I certainly still consider myself a newbie.

This is a good thread - I haven't been posting much because I'm so BUSY being AF ... not kidding. AL turned me into such a sloth; I've accomplished more in the past 14 days than I did for the past 14 months!!

So, just some words of encouragement for those of you battling through the early days AF ... I look back and I'm not sure how I did it, but for the first couple days I stumbled upon this particular mind-set:

Every day, I was basically "working" to get my AL induced evenings happening as quickly (and as secretly) as possible; it was a task, number one on my "to-do" list. It was an activity that I knew I could succeed at every night, I was awesome at it, and I always rose to the occasion like a workaholic. Anyway, when I decided that I needed to stop (after going to the post office at 1PM unable to fill out a simple address and signature due to intense shaking), I did a little reverse-psychology on myself ... I gave up. I gave up on working so hard to get intoxicated ... every time I thought of drinking, I told myself, "No, man ... you gave up ... you threw in the towel ... you lost ... it's okay ... now, just move along and start over."

I don't know, something about getting an urge, sighing deeply, and thinking "I give up, I'm not going to drink" has been at the core of my AF time.

Of course, I did prepare by ordering the Kudzu and L-Glut. I supplement those with B vitamins, Milk Thistle, V8, rice milk, Fish oil, and last but not least EATING WELL. Valerian capsules before bed, sometimes with a Melatonin (sp?) thrown in and soon I'm off to sleep. the first 3 or 4 days, I barely slept, though ... it was torturous! But, I made it through and I feel SO good right now that it's almost as if I've added ten years to my life (I'm 38).

Anyway ... didn't want to just disappear. I am SO overly appreciative of all the great folks on this forum for being there when I needed you. And as a lot of folks say, "If I can do it, you can, too!" Next time you have an urge, take a deep breath, let go, and tell yourself that you're just giving in to sobriety ... and if that doesn't have any effect, go straight to your bathroom and brush your teeth!!! (love that one ... worked for me sometimes).

Sorry such a long post. Just catching up ...

Have a great weekend, my friends!

Sam

:thanks:

[Chief]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Very well said, Sam.....

You have to be aggressive and proactive.....you have to want it.

I've always said, for me, the pain of drinking became more than the pain of quitting....

You're doing great...

Don

[Guest]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Chief;350448 wrote:
I've always said, for me, the pain of drinking became more than the pain of quitting....

Don

I could not agree more with that statement.

[JMT]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Sun, yes, I to had that gremlin of a monster I was not a "happy" drunk. AL definately brought out the WORST of me and in excess it was just unbearable for all of us. I agree, we all deserve better, us, our families, our livers!:0) 12 days WAY TO GO, I can't wait til I can say that. Day 3 and still going...though this headache is about to drive me crazy! Anyway, glad you are here and brought the sunshine with you!

Sam, WOW awesome post what you said I can also relate to SO much. I think we all share so much in common it's almost eerie at times. I guess not only do great minds think alike but they dysfunc alike to.! LOL Sorry have to laugh a little at this point it's been a rough couple of days, will be happy when the headaches and such are gone. Thank you for the encouraging words heaven knows the more the better!! Also thanks for the type on the Valerian root, I'm having some big issues with insomnia so I'm willing to try anything. Thank you all again!

[renewal]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Wow....3rd day of thread and over 100 posts and 1,000 views......you guys are doing this. My hope was to have a 'safe haven' where newbies could band together and forgive themselves for past mistakes, and work together to help one another begin a new life of possibility and success. With your courage, honesty, integrity, love and support, we are doing just that. Just want to say thank you TO ALL OF YOU...you are a wonderful group of new friends....
It's very late....and I need to sleep sometime, so I'll post more in the morning. What I can say is ....I am now 4 days AF.......goodnight friends.
Renewal

[Time2fly]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Day 3

Wow! What amazing responses! Congrats to all those who have taken those brave brave brave steps! Last night was quite hard for me - my kids were driving me up the wall but I knew I was accountable to not only myself but to all you guys as well and I could not let me, my family and my new friends down. To those who are "about" to take that step! It will happen. Dig deep, breath deeply, believe in yourself. I am soooooo proud of everyone. "Smile and the world smiles with you". Have a good weekend. Stay strong. x

[JMT]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

HELLO DAY 4!!

Good morning, Renewal and Time2fly, to see your messages first thing when I logged on this mornig was wonderful. This thread has really become a "safe haven" for me and has kept me going, heaven knows I've been on it ALOT in the past few days but it's kept me sane! I'm so glad you both are doing se well, Time2fly what you said brought tears to my eyes about being accountable, I think for us that is something that once we are finally ready to REALLY try and change it's something we realize we have to be.....accountable, I love how you put that. :0)
AHHHH day 4 to wake up sober, AGAIN! What a gift I have been given. Hubby and I played the Wii Fit into the late night, and I am SO sore!! I may be able to go out and ride a 100 mile century but I can't ski downhill on the Wii to save my life, so much for my supposed "core" strength! Fell off the dang thing a few times, hit the coffee table almost knocked the ceiling fan down and oh yea, when we were playing tennis almost hit eachother....good times...:H....good times. We also boxed, ( I HIGHLY recommend this....LOL):boxer: But you know the BEST part about it I remember every minute of it, I'm awake and happy ok, I still have this damn headache and am sore in places I didn't know exsisted but I'll take that over a hangover anyday. I DID have some horrible dreams, won't go into detail but they were REALLY bad anyone have that happen?
So I'm going downstairs to do my "Yoga" on this new Wii board, This is where ya'll REALLY laugh out loud!!:biglaughmonkey: then my mom is watching munchkin so we can go out for a long ride. We are doing a 75 mile charity ride for MS in late August for a friend of ours so time to get back in the saddle!
Hope everyone is doing good!!:hug:

[Cadence]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Cuddles

Your posts are really great and you are doing so good!:goodjob: As it seems like everyone on here is. I'm only on day 2 but read your post and am heading out on my bike right now. I haven't been in my saddle since getting back from Iraq last month but I'm going. If you can do it well I can at least try. Hang tough you all are doing amazing.
I did go out with my buddies last night that are here on leave, they got hammered, I had no urge, but I know it's a good thing. Going to be a "DD" tonight they HAVE to hit the strip club before they go back so I can't argue with that one!:H I know us damn Marines, well we have to stimulate the economy some way!
Anyway, just wanted to let you know I'm rooting for ya.

[Peanut]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Note to Cuddles - I had the worse, goary dreams when I first went AF at the beginning of May. Mostly just weird dreams, but many bloody, yucky, nightmares. Don't know why, and sleep has taken for ever to even out - still is iffy. Terribly headaches too, for like 6 weeks, until I dropped the supplements - must have been something in the AllOne Powder that was bothering me! I am on day 21 of AF June, feeling fine, except kinda like an old lady - HA! Was in bed last night - me! friday night!! at 11:15!!!! Now - when was the last time that happened!! When I was 10???????? I am just so tired all the time!!!! I think I am catching up on 6 years of sleep deprivation from my daily late night wine imbibing!!!
Congrats and good luck guys - you are doing great!!!
xoxo Peanut

[Tina Desparate]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Hi All,

I messed up. I drank last night. I had 4 beers. I have to start all over again. I am very disappointed in myself. I tried to moderate. I guess that really was moderation for me because usually I have more than that when I go out.

I was not going to post but I just had to get it off my chest. I am back to Day 1 again.

Tina

[Living in Hope]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Tina Desperate....think baby steps, babies fall, the falls get smaller and less bumpy and soon you'll be walking. Everyone is doing so well. I find it hard to take in all the posts but one that I am finding so sad is whitemarschmoms worry that you will harm your kids. You sound like such a great mom, all your motivation seems to be to keep your kids safe and from just the few posts I read from you i'd bet my money on you never harming a hair on their heads. Instead of focusing on what you are doing to harm them by drinking, why not put all your energy into making good memories for them. Thats what they will remember. I got through last night which was a test for me..wont go into the whole story. After tonight the rest of the week shouldn't be so hard. So all keep your fingers crossed for me! My daughter is away for the summer, shes 19, I miss her so much. My son is 17 and will be leaving home to go to college in September. I want this to be a new start for me, I don't want to be this self pitying drunk who wont be there for them, cause I know they will still need me. Anyway...talk soon!