Newbies Unite, June 08'

[Tina Desparate]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Yes I did. I downloaded it this past Monday though. I knew if I had to go out and buy it, I would not do it. I started to read it in my car pool on the way home. This website helps me more than anything though. I can come here and say anything and it helps. I stil have not read the whole book, but I found things in it that have helped me.

I have not even told my husband that I am trying this method. He will not be encouraging. He is an ex-addict and supposingly has been good for 3 years now. He is in the 12 step program. He fussed and fussed at me forever to stop but then recently told me it was okay when friends came around that did drink. He just wanted me to be the entertainment.

I have tried the 12 step program but it does not take the desire away. I do not drink every single day, but I would very often.

[pipper]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Can I make it through day 1? This will be try number 400 and something. Oh well.... This is supposed to be the summer I "get it together" I am a teacher. Some role model. Every day same old thing. I wake up with different degrees of a hang over, but usually enough of one to make an excuse to not exercise. Don't eat very much during the day, but can suck down two bottles of wine a night. Then have the nerve to wonder why I am so fat when I hardly eat anything. I have to just get through tonight. Just one night at least. Is that so hard? I live in the midwest. It's 10:45. 1 hour at a time...

[JMT]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Hi whitemarsh, I read it but don't do all of the supplements. I thought it was a great book, but I'm connecting and relating to the one I'm reading now from the library a little more, just because it talks more about relapsing and the vicious circle we tend to continue to do to oursevles!

Tina!! Yeay for you, yes we live in the southwest where mexican food and margarita's are part of the daily diet. I'm so happy for you! Look at it this way, the money you spent you have things to show for it instead of just drinking it away right? That's the way I try to explain it to myself! LOL

[JMT]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

pipper;349642 wrote: Can I make it through day 1? This will be try number 400 and something. Oh well.... This is supposed to be the summer I "get it together" I am a teacher. Some role model. Every day same old thing. I wake up with different degrees of a hang over, but usually enough of one to make an excuse to not exercise. Don't eat very much during the day, but can suck down two bottles of wine a night. Then have the nerve to wonder why I am so fat when I hardly eat anything. I have to just get through tonight. Just one night at least. Is that so hard? I live in the midwest. It's 10:45. 1 hour at a time...

((((HUGS)))) a teacher, I'm a mother talk about feeling like a poor role model. My daughter is only 2 but you know kids, they pick up on everything. I hear ya, I'm up there in relapses more than I dare to count. I think what it comes down to though is, you know something has to change. The fact that we are AWARE that there is a problem and not walking around in denial means we have the want, urge and need to change it, it just takes time and a TON of effort. Like my mom, she drinks upwards to maybe 2-3 bottles a night, if denial works for her ok, but I hate to see what is happeneing. I come from a LONG line of alcoholics so I'm use to it but HAVE to change it.
Yes, last night was awful but opened my eyes to how much damage the alcohol is doing. I don't want to die, I want to live and be happy and free of this demon for good like I know you do. One minute at a time, one second at a time, whatever if takes it HAS to work this time and we can do this!! :l

[Time2fly]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Night 2. Going well so far. Feeling very positive so WONT slip!!!!! Cuddles well done for getting through that 1st night. Proud of you and tks for the msg x. Its always one of the hardest but its the 1st step and we always have to take that 1st step. Just like our babies - very brave! To those who slipped, YOU CAN DO IT! GET ONLINE WHEN YOU FEEL YOURSELF SLIPPING AND THEY"LL BE ONE OF US TO SUPPORT YOU - YOU KNOW THAT! ITS A ROUGH ROAD SO DONT LET THE GUILT GET TO YOU :l
Renewal and the rest of the team, yay, yay yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.........xxxxxxxx I'll see you all tomorrow if not before. Rest well and I hope you all have sweet dreams

[Time2fly]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

An awesome quote for you all to believe in:-
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer"
Albert Camus
I read that on another thread here and it just got to me.
:groupluv:

[renewal]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Good morning friends......kinda nice to wake up without a hangover....well, it's day 3 for me today...but first,
-Cuddles, hang in there. I know it's tough and I know you had a rough night, but ya gotta just fight through this beginning period....it will get better....and glad your husband is supportive. We're here to help ya hun.
-Pipper- welcome!! and you can do this! Hope you'll focus on what CAN be your future, rather than beating yourself up for the past. You can do this for yourself...and your students......
-Tina- way to go girl! Congrats.....another day down......
Foxypoxy- yeah, I'm having a few headaches myself, but I think that's normal....we just gotta fight through this initial period....I guess we should expect a few headaches after years of abuse...you're doing fantastic....
Whitemarshmom-sorry about yesterday, but your desire to quit is there, which is wonderful!! Yeah, keeping it out of the house simplifies things....FYI, I'm drinking a little O'Douls NA beer to help me through the first few days.....never had it before, but it's helping 'fool my brain' I think.....
Okay, well I wish all of you the best today.....we can and will do this....TOGETHER!!
Renewal

[JMT]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

(((Renewal)) I was hoping to hear from you this morning! Day 3 that's GREAT! You are so encouraging and positive. Again, I'm so happy you started this thread it's helping ALOT!

[JMT]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Time2fly;349658 wrote: An awesome quote for you all to believe in:-
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer"
Albert Camus
I read that on another thread here and it just got to me.
:groupluv:

Wow, ok, I'm crying again but in a good way. Thank you for posting that.
Oh yea, I cry alot especially when sober so don't mind me! LOL :upset:

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Happy for you...Heres a little about me

I really am very sincerely happy for those of you that have been successful.. I am hoping to get one night under my belt. Although very determined to be AF last night, I gave in without much of a fight...It has become such a way of life. Its hard to think about going without it, and its even harder to apply the concept by going without. I would like to be able to moderate, but I am finding the harderI try to moderate, the more I drink. After I had my duaghter in Sept, I thought I had control over this demon. I started out buying bottles of wine, at 1st they were lasting me a couple days, then I started buying the boxes of wine, Congratulating myself when the box almost lasted a week. Of course I would chug 2 or 3 beers along with the neverending glasses of wine. "It's never your second glass if you just keep filling it up " So with the exception of being sober for 2 pregnancies. If I had to guess I have drinking for about 20 years pretty much every night Varying degrees of drunkeness, and varying degrees of hangovers... lying about my drinking, hiding my drinking. My Husband drinks too, so do pretty much all our friends and relatives. It is very widely accepted. I am going to try and do this on my own without them knowing... My husband even laughed at me last night when i told him I wasnt going to be buying anymore wine... Anyway, I can tell how I have already progressed to the next level, I refuse to live my life this way, I am taking back what is rightfully mine. My Life.! The other voice in my head is saying... " tomorrow is Friday, how do you think you are going to make it thru the weekend" start next week it tells me. Or just drink during the weekends. its the devil himself in my head. We have company coming from FLA for the July 4th holiday, drinkers themselves. My goal is tonight, I am going out right now to the bookstore and get the MWO book

[Tina Desparate]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Good Luck Whitemarsh! You have to do what is best for you.

[rachel]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

:yay:kudos to you renewal for starting this forum...I at least have made a doctors apt. for next Tuesday--so I am getting ready to come clean. Feels good to have started to take action and prepare for sucess. I am still scared to death...I live in an enviornment with many drinking people. Thats why I think antibuse is the only way...otherwise the temptation will be too great. rachel

[ASH]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Newbie too

Hey - I posted on another thread and was so happy to hear that there was a Newbie thread. This is my first day too and it's as scary as all get out.... I don't know how I got as lucky as I did when I stumbled across this site!!! The people have been so wonderful and I've only been on for a few hours! I won't pour out the whole story again but am terrified, sad, nervous and embarrassed all at the same time. Hang in there - we're all in this together!!!! BIG HUGS!!!!

ASH

[renewal]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Glad you found us Ash!! You're not alone....welcome to a new chapter in your life.
Renewal

[renewal]

Newbies Unite, June 08'

Hello again......
whitemarshmom......keep up the good fight....I will say though, the "I'll start Monday.....or the 1st of the month.....or on my birthday.....or New Years........can't tell you how many times I've played all of those......if you're truly tired of that game, then......how about today???....we're here for you.

Rachel, glad to see you too....you're taking great steps in seeing the doctor and preparing yourself for success......I hope instead of soley relying on the Antabuse to get you through, you'll focus on all the reasons you WANT to stop drinking and why your life will be better (clearer thinking, better health, self esteem, confidence,etc...)
Sometimes I think we look at quitting drinking as a 'horrible thing'...as though we are depriving ourselves of something wonderful. While we all have used it for various reasons, I think we all realize in the long run it has caused us much pain and our lives will be so much better without it...let's focus on that.....quitting is a positive....not a negative........
Renewal