:new:I'm so thankful for finding you all - this is day 1 after finishing a bottle when I woke up at 4 a.m. and then calling in to work. I am so ashamed of myself and feeling sorry for my kids, grandkids and significant other. There is no question that I will get through tonight as I am feeling to ashamed of myself to even leave the house.What I want to know is even once you have significant time under your belt, how you stop dwelling on how you've hurt people in the past. I don't think I can ever get over that. Anyway, this all just seems to be kind of pointless rambling. Thanks for being here, I'm really I stumbled on this site when looking for help.:
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
:new:I'm so thankful for finding you all - this is day 1 after finishing a bottle when I woke up at 4 a.m. and then calling in to work. I am so ashamed of myself and feeling sorry for my kids, grandkids and significant other. There is no question that I will get through tonight as I am feeling to ashamed of myself to even leave the house.What I want to know is even once you have significant time under your belt, how you stop dwelling on how you've hurt people in the past. I don't think I can ever get over that. Anyway, this all just seems to be kind of pointless rambling. Thanks for being here, I'm really I stumbled on this site when looking for help.:
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Brandismom, don't dwell on the pain you've caused, focus on the positive changes you are trying to make. We are all human, we all make mistakes, heaven knows I've done my share in this 10 year battle. You are trying to get better that is all that matters. :0)
Sundaisy, I too went 6 days then had a slip yesterday, but got back up today, and am starting over! :0)Sobriety is like my avatar. It was always right there in front of me but I couldn't see it!
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Getting There
Thanks for the kind words....I was tired and grumpy/edgy too the first few days or so and got past that! I'm back for a couple more tired/grumpy days, but (sigh) oh well, did it to myself!
Tomorrow will be better. Maybe I'll go for a little exercise tonight. A little natural high....
SunTake everything in moderation. Including moderation.
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
It Takes Sunshine & Rain To Make A Rainbow.......
Just remember that one ladies and gents! Anyway, I think I'm going to take time out from the site for a few days as am feeling pretty upbeat and positive and am hecticly (is that a word??) busy trying to get everything ready for my 2 month trip with the kids. I feel my mind needs a little "holiday" from the site for a few days to absorb some new sounds, sites, feelings, smells etc. Hope you understand? Revitalise the batteries. Good luck to you all. Will be thinking of you, as always. Hang in there and remember there's always a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow as well. My pot of gold is just happiness, plain and simple. Nice goal to have. Catch up with you after the weekend. Big hugs and keep the faith! x
Renewal you're doing a fabulous job of keeping all your ducklings "sort of" in a row!!! Ha ha :H
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Hello all....I guess the one advantage of working till midnight is that I get to see all the day's posts at once......Sundaisy, way to get back on track...let us know how day 2 went.....Raregal, 4 days is fantastic!! These first couple weeks your body and head may go through some changes as it adjusts to 'being dry'....it will get better! Whateveritakes, yeah use the tips you read about and incorporate what works best for you. Staying busy during those evening hours is crucial at the start.....Brandismom, let me extend a welcome to you....glad you are here. Tou CAN'T change the past....BUT, you CAN create a future legacy that can make you and your family proud.....let's do that!
Well, it's almost 1 a.m. & I'm pooped.....picked up the MWO book today...looking forward to reading it....day 8 is a success for this guy....onward to tomorrow. Goodnight all!
Renewal
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Renewal!!WTG on day 8!! I hope you are sleeping well heaven knows you deserve it my dear friend.
To everyone here, I'm so happy to hear that you all are doing so good and trying so hard and I thank you for all the support also. I to am going to say goodbye. I've found another site that is geard more towards what I am looking for as far as more tools, chats, literature, online meetings and no it's not AA! LOL I know I may have offeneded some the other day with a post I wrote and again my deepest apologies if I did.
I pray, hope and wish nothing but the best if all of your journeys!Sobriety is like my avatar. It was always right there in front of me but I couldn't see it!
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
JMT/Cuddles Wish you Wellness and Happiness!
Good News and Bad News
Very strange pheonomena last night, I didnt have the desire to drink!
Bad news, I had a couple anyway, I wasnt even sure why.. Force of habit i guess The actual crazy craving wasnt there, nor were the shakes. but my mind was. Good thing is.. I only had a couple beers and a little bit of Cheap Arbor mist my husband had bought. We had a nice family dinner, went to bed by 10am, I feel really good, every day should be like this. I received the book in the mail yesterday, I cant wait to read it! Its in my car right now, and I am leaving shortly for my 1st Therapist appt. I am nervous and dont know what to expect, but I am also ecstatic because I feel I am going in the right direction
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Renewal, what I meant by my earlier post was that its nice to read how much more positive people are who have abstained for longer than I have.
I still lurk in the newbie section because I can relate more to the feelings people are expressing there but who can word them better than I, if you see what i mean?
I like to venture here to read how much happier people are who have been AF for a while. Id like to be there myself
Found things much much harder today, but carrying on. I think I look forward to being HF more than anything else at the moment.
The wedding thread was a good read, I have this retirement party to go to next week and Im going for the anti-biotic line, I did wonder that if I had one glass would I have to go back to day one again? then I thought why bother having just one, I know I wouldnt be able to resist more after that.
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Such a great thread... I can so relate to the back and forth emotions and struggles. Small accomplishments mean so much and seeing others make strides and face challenges is so relatable. I read the book last night and I feel empowered today. I'm going to go buy the supplements today....one more tool for the arsenal.
Wish me luck. I decided not to count AF days. I'm too much of a perfectionist. If I fail at being AF for even one day, then I would feel that I'd have to keep starting over every time I have a sip of wine... and moderation is my goal....still yet to be discovered if that is attainable for me. I thought about this for a while. If I can't do moderation and I have to abstain completely, did I fail at being a social drinker? Being a perfectionist, that will be hard for me to deal with if that is the case.....but one day at a time, right?
Good luck to all today.
SunTake everything in moderation. Including moderation.
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
frustrated
Went to my doc yesterday and had a great meeting. He was wonderfully supportive. He Had a feeling they 'didn't make antibuse anymore" Although I know a bunch of people on this site are on it. He gave me a script anyway and after the lady in the pharmacy screamed, "DO THEY EVEN MAKE ANTIBUSE ANYMORE" at the top of her lungs for all the store to hear I came out empty handed. Apparently no one in Canada has a drinking problem???? Not sure what plan B is...campral is not in Canada yet..naltrixone perhaps...I need support and feedback from the group.:upset::upset:
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Don't get frustrated!
Hi Rachel,
I'm on topamax. Can you get your doctor to prescribe that for you? Or what aboutgetting it online? I think it is working for me. I'm starting week 3 now and my cravings are reduced dramatically.
SunDaisyTake everything in moderation. Including moderation.
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Hello there my little ducklings......Nia, you are doing wonderfully....and great insight about the 'why one drink' when you know it will lead to many more.....Sun Daisy, if moderation is your goal, then counting days may not be as applicable. To be honest, in my opinion, it's a personal choice anyway. For some, counting days makes them focus TOO much on alcohol....for others, it helps to keep them accountable...whatever works best for you. Rachel, great story about your shopping excursion. Had a similar experience about 20 years ago...placed my groceries down and the cashier shouted over the intercom, "I need a price check on Jock Itch spray".......still getting over that one......JMT, if you are leaving us, you will be missed and we all wish you the absolute best in your recovery. You've been a terrific participant and are welcome home here any time!
To all of you, just wanted to say that if you have any 'extra stuff' you wish to share, you can always PM me if you'd like....I'm in the same boat as all of you and no expert on any of this by any means....but I'm willing to listen should you need to share.
Renewal
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Rachel, if you really feel you need antabuse to keep from drinking, there is a thread under the Topomax, Naltrexone, other med forum called "Antabuse". A number of people taking it post there. They can probably tell you how to get it.
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Newbies Unite, June 08'
Hi Whitemarshmom
I can really relate to you, my youngest is 15months and my son is 2.5 and I have drank every day except for when I was pregnant and breastfeeding (sometimes). I feel so bad for them they are beautiful kids and we live in a lovely town and basically have a great life except for my drinking. My husband knows I drink but I dont think he realises how much. Anyway the other day it became apprent and he said enough is enough so I went 5 nights AF, when I am proud of but last night I had some wine and I feel awful. I'm going to start again today.
Thanks for your stories.
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