I am boring when I'm sober!!!

[dove]

My Mood: Depressed (not a choice in the list!!!)

just got back from a work dinner....had a couple drinks and witty banter at dinner....don't really know the people that i was with that well....new crowd... all kept talking about how much they wanted to get drunk....need to make friends with them all so thought this was my chance....went out for another drink and nothing....i have nothing to talk to these people about...they all know each other way too well and giggle and laugh about things i know nothing about....if i was drunk i wouldn't mind changing the subject or talking about something off subject....now they all still think i am a bitch like i seem at work because i just stood there trying to laugh and not saying anything....they all would have gotten to know me and i could have become one of the group more if i was not sober (only four drinks all night for me)....why am i trying to not drink anymore...all of my best friends forever were made when drinking....i don't get it.....i just want to sleep for like three weeks and by then maybe people that were there tonight will forget how akward and quiet i was...one of those nights when ever you say something everyone just stops laughing and looks at you and then continues their conversation

i hate myself sober and i hate myself blackout drunk

i pretty much hate myself all the time though so i guess that doesn't mean much

dove

[Captnjack]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

Dove I agree been there and Im sure others have too HOWEVER I know people that are hilarious vibrant exciting and the life of the party types and DO NOT drink. Alcohol's got nothing to do with it!!!!!!! you need to love your'e sober self more . i AM SO self conscious I cant walk into a room without those horrible thoughts "every ones looking at me" , "OH him hes a dickhead", " I wish i didn't open my mouth I just killed another conversation". Those thoughts are false. Not all of us can be the one every one loves at at a social gathering. Drunk is boring who likes some one slurring and repeating them selves in endless annoyance with such empty passion and every one laughing somp'tin not right with that secnairo.
You are not boring you are the coolest in my books please don't hate your self you are a beautiful person don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. We are all not "Robin Williams" types and even he had a drug issue. I actually like the quite shy me thats what I'm learning the longer I stay sober.
love cap

[Captnjack]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

Dolphin I always pictured you as the quite and reserved type open fire place fluffy slippers on a cold night type snuggled up with a good book.

[Captnjack]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

I meant to say NOT!!!!! you lol

[Captnjack]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

Numpty !!! what the Bass is that
HAAAAAAAAAA cap

[Captnjack]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

Sorry Dove I have a problem understanding scottish!
you are the best Cap

[gyco]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

i here what your sayin ive been sober for 8 months been here b4 its hard they dont like me loaded or sober where do i belong

[tea]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

HI Dove, yes been there done that too. Keep telling myself that it is the drunk company I'm in that is boring... I do know what you mean though, I used to think I was hilarious when drunk but really I was just drunk..... SOber me is soo much nicer, kinder and smilier...

Lxx

[WA]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

Dove,
I can so relate I felt the same when I started,all I can say is give it time thing get better in fact a hell of a lot better....Its change thats all....Hell I used to be a loud mouthed drunk,then after joining here became scared of the change......Now Im a loud mouthed sober girl......Stick with it hon......x
And please dont hate yourself...xxx
WA...................X

[Evie.Lou]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

DEAR DOVE,I am a big mouth,drunk or sober.I really liked what Cap said about liking the quite,shy part of himself....My MOM used to say to me,you have two eyes two ears and only one mouth...use them in preportion...That was wise advise...I have always said that both Mother Teresa and Janis Joplin live within me and I try to give them equal time...It's Time for Janis to take the back seat,I guess??? Evie

[meditation mama]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

Hello, Dove!

First, I have to say only one thing.. be patient, it will change. It sounds like you are in the in-between stage. Yikes, it is a tough place to be - I know.

I can absolutely relate to that feeling - where do I belong? I was so very funny, witty, glamorous, outgoing, etc... just ask me (then). I thought I needed that drink to be the "it-girl" the one that everyone wanted around. Can you say EGO! I drank to feed my ego. I actually had no idea how much of an intovert I was until I quit drinking. When I quit drinking it was like I was the weird girl in the corner of a dance I wasn't invited to - know what I mean? I was really lost - well not at the time of socializing and drinking, but the moment I was alone. I would hash and re-hash every moment of my socializing. FInding ways I wasn't perfect - which was often if I was drinking.

As my ego got stronger my spirit got weaker, and then I would drink more. It was a vicious cycle. You can't just take drinking our of the equation if you have been used to socializing and living in a way where it was the whole basis for your identity. Believe me I tried - maybe a hundered times.

You have to give yourself time to adjust.. ADJUST being the key word. You have to adjust. For me, I had to pull my spiritual practice back to center, which includes a lot of meditation. I had to start going to places that didn't include alcohol like movies, the gym, reading at a coffee house, etc. But the biggest change I made was giving myself space and time to adjust. I didn't go out to alcohol-related activites for the first month I was sober. That was a personal choice, but one I knew I must make so I could get to know the real me and then be comfortable in social situations without drinking.

I went to my ex's wedding last night and my current husband (we are divorcing), was there. There were dozens of people I hadn't seen in 10 years and most of them I had a career of drinking with. It was absolutely the most uncomfortable situation I could have ever imagined - but it was only in my imagination. I was wonderful. I was witty, funny, gorgeous and sober. I stayed for two hours and socialized while everyone drank. And the funny thing, everyone still enjoyed my company - I think I even saw some envy at my not drinking. I left feeling better last night than any of the "best" nights drinking.

Anyway, I hope this helps... You are a beautiful person inside. Take the time to get to know that person and you will blossom.

Namaste,

MM

[juli86]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

I was wonderful. I was witty, funny, gorgeous and sober.....

I don't usually post....but I loved this! You go, girl!!! Something for us all to aspire to.....

[Evie.Lou]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

DIDTO...wonderful,witty,funny,gorgeous...AND SOBER!!!!Your soooo inspiring,thanks..love,love,love your posts MM.....Evie

[livingfree]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

So much great advise above. Just wanted to add that I honestly believe that when we REALIZE that these drinking buddies/friends/wanna be friends/etc. are in their "mode of operation" - they are in an "induced" frame of mind. They are miserable inside and using the alcohol just to impress each other with how "cute" they are. By the next day - they are filled with the same shame, guilt, misery, forgotten memories etc. that we USED to be. They are NOT happy. Oh they may lie to you, just like we used to lie to ourselves.

The transition here is that we have to "get to know"ourselves all over again. I have found I feel like a little girl again. I can be adorable, funny, silly, quite, sleepy or any of the other attributes that a sweet child has - and I am finding that people LOVE me more than they used to. In the way everyone loves a child. It's because I'm being ME , really ME for the first time since I was a child. So ..... it's this person you are getting to know again. I promise you will love this person you are finding and so will everyone else. And if they don't??? Keep your "Child" away from them. They are abusive, and a KILL JOY if you know what I mean!!!

Hug yourself today and be thankful that you have figured out that it's easier to like yourself no matter what anyone else thinks. You know why?????????? Cuz it FEELS BETTER THAN NOT LIKING YOURSELF !!

[greeneyes]

I am boring when I'm sober!!!

I recall times at work when I was not drinking and you could hear my laughter ring to the back of the office. I understand how you feel right now. Once you get past the limbo, you will still be you. It is your core and you will embrace it and enjoy yourself, your life and others even more.