My Reasons

[retteacher]

A year ago, I had only been a member of MWO for 2 months. I was still drinking heavily...even more so than before I joined. I then started long periods of abs, unfortunately punctuated by lapses. However, I am aiming for & living an AF life & for the most part, I like it. Sure, there are aspects of drinking that I miss, especially the whole checking out of life part. However, my reasons for staying sober are so much more compelling.
-I no longer worry about my health.
-I don't lie like I had to when I was drinking.
-I know what's going on in my life.
-I experience all my feelings for better or for worse.

On days like today when I'm a little down & worried about various things, I think about numbing out. That's why I've been checking in & out of MWO & finally came up w/this thread.

Take care of your goals everyone. I know it's worth it.

Mary

[hippie37]

My Reasons

I've drunk for so many different reasons in the past, boredom, stress, hedonism etc but mostly through pure hedonism. i don't think I ever wanted to grow up to be honest and life was just one big long party for me. I've FINALLY and only recently come to terms with that lifestyle now being a part of my past. So like you Mary I have much more compelling reasons for staying sober these days. I think I've finally cleared the cobwebs away in the old noggin and I see a much brighter future for myself. I want things in my life now that I thought were probably beyond my reach because of being in limbo. i was still thinking about my past too much and what that had to offer me; rather than looking into the future and how my life could and should be.

So yes, today I have many different reasons for staying sober in a 'grown up' world! and probably quite different to the ones I first started out with over 12 months ago.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[livingfree]

My Reasons

Mary - I have read and watched your journey ever since I logged on for the first time last fall. It took me until January to become a member, because I was still drinking daily, and didn't think this "one more thing" would help. With that said - You said something way back then then that really changed my life. You said "I can never drink alcohol again". (I should go back and copy the quote, but it would take me to much time and I need to get to work asap). That changed my thinking. I had never REALLY considered "Never".

But today I read from you today .... "I'm aiming for and living an AF Life and for the most part I like it. Sure there are aspects of drinking that I miss, esp the whole checking out of life part ..."

My simple suggestion is something that I believe I learned from your posts over the past months .... and that is we are listening to the Addictive Voice in our heads when we even say "there are aspects of drinking that Imiss" .... that is what sets us up to drink again. We need to take each of those ASPECTS and tear apart the lie in them!

Example:

The lie
"I miss numbing out, checking out on things I don't want to deal with"

The truth
We can numb out and check out on things we don't want to deal with in other ways.
A. Work up an exhausting sweat - exercising, working in the yard, etc.
B. helping a flood victim clean up damage
C. volunteer in a Hospice unit

Other things really can help us "forget" the pains. The advantage to numbing out in these other ways is that it's LONGER lasting NUMBING with out guilt the next day! In fact - it builds on it's self!

My point is that you are a huge inspiration. I challenge you to change your thinking - to assure you change your drinking! You have given so much wisdom, and I admire you SO VERY MUCH.

I love you dear lady

[ready2change]

My Reasons

Wow Liv...that is an awesome post and reply to Mary! I respect, admire and look up to all of you, Mary, Hippie and Liv. Today I am home from work with a hangover. This is one of the lowest lows I have ever hit. I have never missed work from a hangover, I always made myself go to work as my punishment.

But today I could not drag myself to do it. I went back to bed instead. And now all the guilt and all the depression are just hanging over me like a dark cloud. Why oh why do we do these things to ourselves? I feel like I have poisoned all the life right out of me. I love being sober but have not been able to manage more than a week or two at a time. I hate drinking, but I feel like this whole other person takes hold of me when "it" wants to drink. Almost an out of body experience.

How long can one go on breaking promises to themselves before they begin to lose faith in themself? How dare I judge anyone else when I can't/don't control my own actions.

So Mary, I think Liv gave excellent advice about changing your thinking, and never wasting time or thought as to what you "miss" about drinking, because quite simply there is nothing good to ever come from drinking. The only good that happens is when you don't drink.

Thanks for this thread. My hangover needed this. I hope your feelling better and having a good day.

R2C

[Theme2be]

My Reasons

Dear All,

There is something so mystical about this "sight" and coming here.
I have been stolling through, like I am in a magical park and each post is like a different path I can take to find the perfect discovery for what my souls survival needs. I almost come out of my body here while visiting. I fell along the way side a week or so ago and like you, Mary, I suffered. I had to leave work because of the withdrawl, with an excuse and I headed right to my Dr. of Accuncture to assist with the vile physical symptons from a hard Am to Pm, guzzling land of poisioning horrors for a week straight.. What Liv said has ushered in inspiration here in my place of being such as "other ways to escape". I made and attempt yesterday, pulling out some art supplies, but I am still so low in spirit and this renders me listless. "It" called me like an angry master through the night and I kept coming here to escape vicariously through the precious people such as yourselves.
This place is like poision to "it" as I can spit at the stalker while sheltered for a time.
"It" places me in Limbo as well and it is like I am possessed by an aminal in my persona that exhibits to those that "knew" me a stranger. I say the word "knew" because I have not "known" myself for a time since this monster hit a few years back throwing me into an abyss and robbing my life of enough value that I pondered tinting the windows of my car, finding a safe partner for protection and parking just to drink. Impossible for the person I "know" to be me to even consider the obsurd as I had an invitation to hell.

Something is of Hope that I am still holding on to because of your voices. I am safe. My windows are tinted and I have the protection I need because here is where I have been guided to park.
I can be a women here/grown up, or I can be the little girl needing the mirroring of Love and Honesty so I can be TheMe2be even with all the inner reflections and voices that mock my attempts.

I am blessed while this curse is working on a new plan to steal my last breath.
With a deep breath of gratitude for you are my precious , trustworthy friends.

Karen

[retteacher]

My Reasons

Liv:

Many thanks for your straight talk to me. If I turn my thinking ("missing drinking") to constructive thoughts & actions, I will change from the inside out. I have my g-sons coming in a few minutes, & we'll go to the park. They offer me that complete freedom from the addictive voice (which I sometimes conveniently forget about).

You are emblematic of why MWO works. You've worked the program & are spreading your wisdom, strength, & hope.

Thank you, Mary

[livingfree]

My Reasons

Much love to you ~~ and enjoy those sweet little ones! They really remind us of how awesome life is meant to be!! :goodjob: