You know you're an alcoholic when...

[cymru]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

when you destroy your new laptop by covering it in wine. Well I think it was wine, and leaving it all night to gently soak and destroy its self. Not so clever that!

[Mackeral]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

Alcahol and electrics dont mix...A few years back i dropped a 3 ltr plastic bottle of cider on the floor..The bottle top and half the contents shot inside our video player...I coundnt do it again in a million years..

[slowly sinking]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

You know you're an alkie when you're supposed to be the designated driver and you get so drunk that all your friends find other rides home...the manager of the bar finally-at closing time-gives you a ride home and you insist on repaying his kindness with an BJ...never been back to that bar

[startingover]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

SS I know I shouldnt laugh but......

[startingover]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

Hey SS, cannot wait to hear about your date this weekend!!!!!

[slowly sinking]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

The worst part about that was it was in my garage with the lights on..OUTSIDE my car with the garage door wide open....and I'm pretty sure my neighbors got an XX rated show that night!!!

[slowly sinking]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

Did you read my one a couple pages back about the eggs?? This was just a couple weeks ago..no wonder my neighbors won't speak to me anymore..

[startingover]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

Eggs??? Off to have a look now!

[slowly sinking]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

Starting over..pg 42......

Thanks One2Many....you're frikin'AWESOME....

[startingover]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

I have just read about the eggs! I am laughing so hard at the piccy in my head!!!
You are hysterical SS!

[slowly sinking]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

Oh, I forgot about the chocolate syrup....I ran out of eggs and went back in for Hershey's.....the next morning, after the kids cleaned all the shit up, they threw all the paper towels and eggs all over my front porch and stuffed my mailbox full of it all....I'm 44 for Christ sakes!!

[slowly sinking]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

I had to have an MRI one day and I'm claustrophobic...so after a couple of Atavan and a few drinks....I drive home, have a few more...and decide to mow my lawn. After taking out most of my landscape lights and deciding that my neighbor's lawn needs a little trimming too, ( they didn't appreciate it much..WTF?)..I called my friend...one of the few I have left, and insisted that my shrubs were following me around the lawn and she needed to call the police because the shrubs were attacking me....she sent her hubby over, who I then tried to convince that my smoke alarms were going off and he needed to come up to my bedroom to change the batteries. Apparently, while up there, I began to do a strip tease for him.....he's never been able to look me in the eyes since..but he can certainly look below them...

[startingover]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

I am dying laughing here!!!

[slowly sinking]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

Yeah, I'm lucky I had any landscaping left....actually, that one was in my old neighborhood....the one I was chased out of with pitchforks and torches...

[slowly sinking]

You know you're an alcoholic when...

I got so drunk one night out that I couldn't find a bathroom....really had to go #2...so I crawled in the back seat of my car and founf this GIANT coffee mug and took a dump in it....then of course, no toilet paper, so I pulled out my road map, tore out a state and proceeded to wipe my ass with the state of New Jersey....THEN, what did I do with a coffee mug full of crap??? put it a trash can??? NOOOOOO....I decided to out it in my trunk??? Drove home and completey forgot about it for two days...in the heat of summer....imagine the HORROR when a friend came over and I offered to drive us out to lunch!!!