You know you are one when you have painful withdrawals....so painful you think you'd die...so painful that with whatever brain cells you have left you realize in that moment how bad things really are...you pray to God to give you just one more chance to help you get through this agony and the terrible pain of muscle spasms, what actually felt like epilepcy.... you pray and beg that you can just survive till tomorrow and that tomorrow you will start a new life. I have never had withdrawals before, typical hangover - nothing more. What I experienced 3 days ago shocked me deeply and I honestly say that I didn't think I'd live to see the next day. I'm grateful no one saw me in such condition....perhaps I was taking chances by not calling ambulance, but I was just too embarrased to let the world know of my misery.
I now know I am an alcoholic. I am still too shy to admit it outloud, but I am determined to change my life around. I made a heartfelt promise to myself never touch a drink ever again.
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