You buy a huge jug of vinegar just to have something in which to hide the vodka.
Picking dead fruit flies out of your wine doesn't warrant a second thought.
Having hubby the cop tell you about a woman they pulled over who had gotten drunk on mouthwash and having a light bulb go on over your head (where has this been all my life??), only to try it the next time you ran out of wine too soon.
Being all smug thinking nobody can smell it on you when one of the stepkids announces "Something smells like alcohol"
Filling every 2 ounce bottle you own with vodka so you can take it on the plane.
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