What I have allowed my life to become

[keeta]

Where to begin,


ugh.I had full intentions of writing this huge long post...articulating what I have been going through, etc...so many things have been going on for me...deaths...so many in my family lately...my own battle getting off anti -d's...how my home life sucks on every level, etc...but I find I am too damn tired to do so....

So basically I have allowed my life to fall apart completely because of AL...and I am so unmotivated I can't even write about it...how sad is THAT...I am a tired tired woman....I miss the spark...I miss looking forward to each day...I am so tired of waking up every day...and dreading it, simply because it IS another day. What the fuck is the point, at this point? Not sure....

[magic]

What I have allowed my life to become

Hi Keeta,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry you feel so crappy.

The point is.....that it is another day and a chance to try again to make some changes.

Speaking only for myself, I know what it's like to be a tired woman and feel stuck being tired.
I bet that there are days when you are too tired to eat even, no?

I think that sometimes it's better to focus on making some small changes instead of looking at the huge problems that stare us down. They can be so intimidating and they never seem to blink.

Is there something that you can do differently tomorrow? Anything at all.
I know I shouldn't say this but........ kittens are the best thing in the world.

magic xxx

[greeneyes]

What I have allowed my life to become

Hi keeta.... I was wondering where you were. What if you wrote about something else? Find a happy thought. Tomorrow what about going to a garden center and getting a pretty container and and flowering plant and pot it up. It would give you a feeling of accomplishment and you will remember it everytime you admire your plant! Just one different thing a day. The next day go to the market and get some fruit - so many beautiful choices this time of year and make yourself a colorful fruit salad topped with a little yogurt and granola. I've missed you being around. I hope you feel better soon!:l

[keeta]

What I have allowed my life to become

magic...
thank you SO much for your post...I DO need to do something different tomorrow...my thinking...my bad attitude(negative thinking) holds me back SO much....I live in a small place (250 people..in the middle of no-where) and gads I wish I had a place to go to beg for help...a P-doc....AA...anything would do to have a place where i could safely "fall apart" and start again.....I feel a break down coming...and no outlet...I hate this feeling...I try so hard to keep all my ducks in a row...but it is unravelling...slowly but surely...and if I don't keep off AL it will happen...blah

You have some good points...thank you SO much for posting....
K

[keeta]

What I have allowed my life to become

beaner...you have some fab ideas...except I am sadly limited due to $$ and location(no where land...a logging camp) Your ideas are so dreamy...pick me up at 1...and we can hit the nearest garden centre!...wooohoooo
love you girl,
K

[magic]

What I have allowed my life to become

Keeta, sweetheart,

If you're feeling that badly, leave. Brave words, I know. I've done it.

Get to the hospital, are you on THE island? Small children? Take them if need be.

Reach out and ask for help. Put out your hand and someone will take it and hang on.

They will! I promise.

There is a kind, middle aged nurse out there just waiting to hug you, then tuck you in.

Put on your sandals, you don't have to get dressed ~and go and find her.

m. xxx

[louise]

What I have allowed my life to become

Keeta, I'm so sorry you are feeling so down. I forget why you went off the anti-depressants. Have you been able to replace that with anything? SAM-e? Tryptophan? St. John's Wort? Do get some sun (they are now recommending at least 20 min a day without sunscreen and finding many with depression are low in vitamin D). And remember, it will get better! Don't ever give up hope.

[happydog]

What I have allowed my life to become

hi keeta,
Im so sorry the way you are feeling right now, the think is AL just does not make nothing better.....the point is we all care about you please stay with us, time is a great healer, you may think right now its never going to end, but it will in time.:l
Louise said about st john wort and i know kaddy swears by them they work, give them a go, i might try them myself as well..

Thinking of you take good care.x

Love
Teardrop.x

[Captnjack]

What I have allowed my life to become

Hi keeta I wish you would yell at me in my dreams again lol( inside joke guys) I have never been yelled at so wonderfuly. I agree with magic there must be a way to leave i know kids are a factor that makes it so much harder but you are no help to anyone if you not caring for yourself. you have to deal with it easier said than done I know but there must be a way there must be some one you can stay with for a bit while you get better.
Love cap

[dexterhead]

What I have allowed my life to become

Keeta::l:l:l
You seem so overwhelmed in your home life. Can you get away, just for a while? Magic has a good idea.

[LVT25]

What I have allowed my life to become

Keeta, I am reading a book by Suzanne Somers called "The Sexy Years". It is about our hormones and how they can get all out of whack, and cause all kinds of symptoms--like depression, anxiety, etc. It might be worth checking into. I don't think too many doctors are into the bioidentical hormone scene yet however.
Regardless, i hope you're feeling better today.

[Evie.Lou]

What I have allowed my life to become

Keeta my dearest...Suzanne has great wisdom....really great advise.Hormones are big triggers for woman.I need advise about this myself.Mood swings,anxiety,depression that get out of control for many of us.especially in recovery.Men have their own issues(easier..harder..who knows)but different.If there are other woman out there that would like to have our own space to talk these things out,please PM me and I will see if it is possible.....Evie

[Doggygirl]

What I have allowed my life to become

Keeta, I wish I could take your hurt away!! I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad. I guess all I can think of to say is that AL won't help a thing...but you already know that. The others have made good suggestions about trying some little things to raise your spirits. Or maybe even some big changes are in order..only you can know that.

I do agree with Evie and LVT about the potential for homones to wreak havoc on our lives. I would imagine it's OK for us to talk about that topic - I will start a thread in the Holistic Healing section and hopefully that will be OK with RJ and also the MWO community. (don't know why that subject seems so taboo sometimes....)

Best wishes to you Keeta. Let us know if there is something specific you think of that we can be doing to help you.

DG

[brittzak]

What I have allowed my life to become

keeta...I am sorry to read about your pain..I have so been right where u are. I know when we get depressed we drink more to ease the pain only it makes it even worse when we have to sober up. you can do this.....even if you have to force yourself...get up go lay in the sun.....take a walk.....read a book..have you tried the supps?