What to do now ??? I needed to get away from this place and the (pitty me feeling that I have been dwelling in)..We went to Animal Kingdom and had a great time.Now that we are home again and Hubby is still sleeping ,I have to face the fact that I hid a bottle left behind by guests.I knew that the pain pills (from Mondays surgery)would put me back into a old mindset.They desolved my willpower and at the first chance I was hiding AL again.How do I get a grip before I start that cycle of destruction again.Life without AL is wonderful...Life with AL equals death,for me.I want to wake hubby and beg him to help but I fear the look in his eyes is as deadly as AL is.I cannot face his disapproval.How can I expect him to understand???I can not understand...some of you might be able to knock me to my sences before I throw away all that I have worked so hard for.I must distroy AL before he distroys me...Please HELP,if you can...Evie
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sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!! -
Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
Evie,
Just pour it down the sink before you think.
Just do it.
Then it will be gone and you will be okay.
Do it.
Love,
CindiAF April 9, 2016 -
Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
Evielou,
I have been right where you are. I know exactly how you are feeling. I know it is hard but pour that bottle down the drain. Right now. The feeling of anxiety you have will pass. That is probably why you want to tell your husband. Go out and get some calms forte or gaba. I find they relax me enough to take the edge off without being sleepy. If you get a couple of AF days behind you, you will feel better mentally and physically. Stay on the boards and keep yourself busy. This will pass. Gabby.Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.Comment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
It's up to you Evie.....I had dental surgery a few weeks ago, was given pain medication. The first thought in this head was...YAY!!! (pain meds, I could almost feel that euphoric feeling)...Then I had a thought....if the pain medication was perscribed, and I was indeed going to be in pain, why not forego the meds and buy a bottle...Hubby wouldn't know, if I was loopy or fell asleep I could blame it on the meds!!!...I fantasized througout the surgery....this was going to be sooo easy and I couldn't wait to leave to go fill my "perscription".....Ahhh yes, it was a nice fantasy. I didn't follow through......Please don't unleash that demon.....
I will be having the other half of my mouth done in August, and I will probably have those same thoughts.....nice thoughts, unfortunately.....sobriety date 11-04-07Comment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
Evie! I agree with Cindi. Just pour it out. Don't think. Just do it. AL is a wily, sneaky, fox. He is working your brain with the romantic notions and memories. You know that they are false. You LOVE your sobriety!!!! You are so proud of your accomplishments.
You will get over this hump. It will pass.
Shelby"PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!" USMCComment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
My husband had to go away one afternoon as he was taking his mum to hospital the next day (she lives a distance away). The first thought that came into my head was 'Yay! I can get a litre of vodka this evening and drink it all and he'll never know!' How evil was that thought! My mother-in-law was going into hospital and all I could think about was how much vodka I was going to drink. I battled with the thought all day at work, I felt exhausted at the end of it - and in the end I decided I was best to see some friends from church and stay at their house until after the off-licence shut!Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The MessageComment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
:l Evie!
You have done so well! Your posts are so different, so must be your mind set! You must feel better physically and feel more positive.
Tough words...
Pour that $h!T out! Remember how you felt when you went through withdrawl! Do you want to have to go through that again? You needed help and I believe you went to see an out- of-town friend. You don't want to have to do that again! We have to help ourselves!!!
Stay strong! You are loved and respected here and we want the best for you!
:h Best"It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008Comment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
Thanks for your support.Cindi..Great advise but right now I am so afraid the smell of AL going down the drain is more than I could bear.Gabby...I was hoping that getting over 6 weeks AF would take this out of control feeling away but I was wrong.It is still there and I think that the pain pills were the trigger.I was so blissed out on life and it is very hard to have those old feelings return.Charlee...we must be birds of a feather.I was fantasizing thru surgery too.Pretty sick...most people would just worry about the pain,not the pain pills.I have more surgery on july 7...The pills are almost gone from this time even though i told myself that I would save some for next time...How I decieve myself and others,it is just pityful.As the morning passes I am feeling stronger but not strong enough to dump it out...And to embaressed to tell hubby...I feel trappedsigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!Comment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
Bestlife and others....I am going right now and dump it out...Down the drain...Someone please stay close to be here when I get back...Be back in a few mins.....sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!Comment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
I am here"PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!" USMCComment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
Evie- what kind of pain med are you taking? Is it narcotic? Can you ask your doctor to give you something less strong? Maybe a strong anti-inflamatory or something? I work for a dentist and whenever a patient has a history of addiction, he never gives Vicadin, or anything of that nature. If you dont have the strong pain meds, then maybe you can halt the process.
I don't know what you need the pain meds for. Maybe you need something strong. Just a thought.
Shelby"PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!" USMCComment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
I'm here, Evie! :h"It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008Comment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
OK..It is done..I could not have done it alone.Together we poured it down the drain.I can not believe that I am so weak that it takes a group effort to pour AL in a sink.I love you all and I hope that I can be there for you when you are in need of help...The feels are not gone but atleast for now...AL is...LOL..EviesigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!Comment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
Evie, do you have any supps to help with the "feels"? What can you do to keep your mind busy? Tell us about Animal Kingdom.
Shelby"PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!" USMCComment
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Back at home with my secret lover...Help!!!
Yea!!! A total and complete VICTORY over AL!!! You are stronger because of it. Part of your anxiety will be gone because you don't have to worry about that bottle anymore. It may take all of us to help you pour it down the drain but you were the one that did it. You took control and that is HUGE! Now, relax, have a great day and do something good for yourself. Gabby.Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.Comment
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