I moved this because I thought it might be something others are contemplating.
From dictinary.com:
so?ber ?adjective
1. not intoxicated or drunk.
2. habitually temperate, esp. in the use of liquor.
3. quiet or sedate in demeanor, as persons.
4. marked by seriousness, gravity, solemnity, etc., as of demeanor, speech, etc.: a sober occasion.
5. subdued in tone, as color; not gay or showy, as clothes.
6. free from excess, extravagance, or exaggeration: sober facts.
7. showing self-control: sober restraint. (I like this one)
8. sane or rational: a sober solution to the problem.
?verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
9. to make or become sober: (often fol. by up).
The notion of LIVING SOBER has been on my mind of late - what actually does it look like? What might it be for me? I think this may be a new goal, as it does not seem to mean complete and permanent abstinence, but restraint. I don't think I am fooling myself, or avoiding a need for being AF at times. This whole process may mean, for me, that not getting drunk is what matters.
I 'started again' yesterday, not planning AF forever, but just awhile - to do it again and see where it goes. Well, the first nite, I am making dinner with my 19 year daughter, we sit to eat our creation and I remember the 1 glass of wine left in the bottle in my frig. I can't dump it - but I can't drink it or I will want to go get more - that's my problem = stopping. I said to myself, "I am just not going to go buy more, either dump this small glass, or drink it and just stop". I drank it with dinner and that was it - never felt a buzz, enjoyed the taste, and didn't want more. Wow - it was a bit of a lightbulb moment - I allowed myself to stop, I didn't get loaded that night, didn't finish off a bottle and slide into bed. I felt 'sober' and I went and read a book (Couldn't do that drinking many glasses).
So, now I am contemplating the definition of sober. I think 'Sober" may be a realistic goal because when I did a 40 day AF stint, I got caught up in the counting - the insessant counting and self-induced failure if I didn't keep adding days. When I went mod after the 40 days, I kept feeling like I was failing - now that didn't help my self concept. I realized I may need to grasp another concept and maybe its 'Sober living'.
Many here will say, don't kid yourself, its gotta be total AF - and I know that is true for many. Isn't that always the dilema for us - AF or can we mod? Well, today my thinking is that defining sober and living a sober life may be the most realistic goal for me. It won't be easy because if & when I do have a drink, I will have to stop, or I fail. So, for now it will be AF a lot and stopping when not AF. Conquering the stopping, that's the challenge.
Sorry to take you on this long thought train - hope its a good Sober day for y'all!
Go2Goal
From dictinary.com:
so?ber ?adjective
1. not intoxicated or drunk.
2. habitually temperate, esp. in the use of liquor.
3. quiet or sedate in demeanor, as persons.
4. marked by seriousness, gravity, solemnity, etc., as of demeanor, speech, etc.: a sober occasion.
5. subdued in tone, as color; not gay or showy, as clothes.
6. free from excess, extravagance, or exaggeration: sober facts.
7. showing self-control: sober restraint. (I like this one)
8. sane or rational: a sober solution to the problem.
?verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
9. to make or become sober: (often fol. by up).
The notion of LIVING SOBER has been on my mind of late - what actually does it look like? What might it be for me? I think this may be a new goal, as it does not seem to mean complete and permanent abstinence, but restraint. I don't think I am fooling myself, or avoiding a need for being AF at times. This whole process may mean, for me, that not getting drunk is what matters.
I 'started again' yesterday, not planning AF forever, but just awhile - to do it again and see where it goes. Well, the first nite, I am making dinner with my 19 year daughter, we sit to eat our creation and I remember the 1 glass of wine left in the bottle in my frig. I can't dump it - but I can't drink it or I will want to go get more - that's my problem = stopping. I said to myself, "I am just not going to go buy more, either dump this small glass, or drink it and just stop". I drank it with dinner and that was it - never felt a buzz, enjoyed the taste, and didn't want more. Wow - it was a bit of a lightbulb moment - I allowed myself to stop, I didn't get loaded that night, didn't finish off a bottle and slide into bed. I felt 'sober' and I went and read a book (Couldn't do that drinking many glasses).
So, now I am contemplating the definition of sober. I think 'Sober" may be a realistic goal because when I did a 40 day AF stint, I got caught up in the counting - the insessant counting and self-induced failure if I didn't keep adding days. When I went mod after the 40 days, I kept feeling like I was failing - now that didn't help my self concept. I realized I may need to grasp another concept and maybe its 'Sober living'.
Many here will say, don't kid yourself, its gotta be total AF - and I know that is true for many. Isn't that always the dilema for us - AF or can we mod? Well, today my thinking is that defining sober and living a sober life may be the most realistic goal for me. It won't be easy because if & when I do have a drink, I will have to stop, or I fail. So, for now it will be AF a lot and stopping when not AF. Conquering the stopping, that's the challenge.
Sorry to take you on this long thought train - hope its a good Sober day for y'all!
Go2Goal
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