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**beatle** · July 4, 2008, 02:02 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

This sounds bad. I don't know what happened, but you seem very upset and unhappy. What can we do?

**KateH1** · July 4, 2008, 02:05 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

{{{{{Keeta}}}}}}
Yes, what do you need? What can we do? Oh! sweetie, you seem to have such a struggle. Please let us know what you need. Phone calls?
XXX Kate

**keeta** · July 4, 2008, 02:15 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

beatle and Kate,
I am ok right now???(questionable)
when I may not be ok, is when hubby leaves.(next week)
Is it normal to be so afraid to be alone? I will pretend to be OK....but inside...I feel like a little kid running after a car..."wait....what do I do now"!!!
We live in a tiny place...250 people...logging camp...the industry is falling apart...men have to leave to make a living....ugh.....
no,
I will not be ok when this happens...shoulda married a laywer or something.

**SunDaisy** · July 4, 2008, 02:20 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

Keeta,

You seem like a very intelligent woman (I've read some of your posts). What do you think YOU need?

**keeta** · July 4, 2008, 02:30 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

Sun,
I am not sure what I need...well, ok that is a big fat lie, I could write a huge thing about what I need...bottom line I am pretty tight with my hubby in life and he is going to leave, and I am damned scared to be without him....who am I going to share a morning coffee with...giggle about stupid shit with...and bottom line,..,who is going to keep me safe? He always did,....no matter what...he is my hero...I love him SO much...and he was always my protection against the outside world...so...I guess I need my husband...and He is leaving me...and I am scared shitless.

**SunDaisy** · July 4, 2008, 02:34 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

Do you want to chat about this? You can either PM me, or join chat....I'm on line.

**gabby1go** · July 4, 2008, 06:23 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

Keeta,

How long is he going to be gone? Maybe you can take an online class while he is gone? There are a lot out there. They are really terrific and keep your mind occupied every day. Possibly you can get involved in something around your community. Try and make a plan that gets you out of the house and out of your comfort zone. It may help you beat the lonliness you feel. Let us know if you need anything. Gabby.

**gabby1go** · July 4, 2008, 06:27 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

Also, are there other women in the community that are feeling the same way as you? Maybe organize some type of group that gets together and has dinner, meets for coffee, etc., and supports each other. I hope I am not oversimplifying things, just throwing out ideas. Gabby.

**louise** · July 4, 2008, 09:13 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

Keeta, maybe this is an opportunity to explore why you feel "you need protection against the outside world." Can you possibly think of this as an opportunity to grow? Or are you really afraid of people in this community? I like Gabby's suggestions, as well as phone call, posts and chat here.

**tlrgs** · July 4, 2008, 09:34 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

i find the alone time is good time to just kick back ..do some writing ,.reading , cleaning .soul searching.

**greeneyes** · July 4, 2008, 09:58 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

I agree with all the posts here. I particularly resonate with Louise. The universe works in mysterious ways to give us opportunities for growth. I think you just got one.

Google BachFlower essence and take a look at a few of those. You take different ones for different reasons. Particularly look at Rescue Remedy. Hang in there and try to take advantage of this opportunity. And yes, it is time for those BGPs. You'll wear them nicely, I'm sure. When does he leave?

**Sheepish** · July 4, 2008, 10:02 AM

My hubby is leaving to work

Hi Keeta
Everyone has some sound advice. You haven't mentioned how long he will be gone for? Is it an indeterminate amount of time? Maybe if you talk about that we can help you come up with ways to structure his time away to make it feel less scary. I live alone (funnily enough the thought of living with someone is the thing that sends me running for the hills- but thats another story)
Are you afraid of drinking when you are alone?
I hope I am not prying too much- you sounded like you were really reaching out.
Take care
-Sheep

**Lucy Van Pelt** · July 4, 2008, 04:12 PM

My hubby is leaving to work

Oh Kim-

I can relate. I really can. When my hubby is going out of town, my first thought is "whoopie...I can have some time by myself", but once I am alone, I have terrible anxiety about it. Particularly in the evenings...not so much during the day.

These are the things which have helped me:

Make plans with friends...or anyone who is available...for dinner.

Use the phone...OMG...the lengthy calls to old friends was/is a lifesaver!!

Start a really amazing book.

However, most important, I think, are the plans. If I KNOW I have something to do to fill some of the time, I am much better. I don't know why I hate being alone so much...but I also don't think it is all that abnormal. Humans like the company of others...to feel safe...

Oh, and if all else fails, just come here!! You are SURROUNDED by caring people 24/7.

Sorry to hear your husband has to go away...I hope it won't be for too long.

Beth

**karbihere** · July 4, 2008, 08:48 PM

My hubby is leaving to work

sounds like a major codependancy to me, maybe get some counseling and find out what the REAL problem is.................you almost make it sound like you wont survive with out him and thats not good at all

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