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TRIGS IS RIGHT ON !....I'M ON MY SECOND MARRIAGE, WE FIGHT AND I CAN BE ALOFF AT TIMES AND INCONSIDERATE, BUT SHE PUTS UP WITH ME, I KNOW SHE LOVES ME AND SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND...PLUS SHE'S HEARD ALL MY JOKES AND BULLSHIT AND STILL SHE HANG AROUND...IAD!?Be who you are and say what you feel because
those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
Dr. Seuss
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Capt,
Have you tried to talk about everything? I know from personal experience that I didn't communicate well with my husband and kept it all in until one day it just blew up. Since I put all the cards on the table via E MAIL because I am such a baby and the water works will start flowing we are at what seems to be in the beginning stages of love. We have been married for 11 years. The thought of not having him in my life I think scared both of us and now we COMMUNICATE better. I wish you the best of luck. We too have a little one and it's so much better if Mommy and Daddy are truly in love. When things aren't at their best, little souls seem to know.
Michaela:beach: "You can't go uphill thinking downhill thoughts"
AF since 10/11/2008
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Capt, I think this situation happens to a lot of us who have been together for long periods of time. My hubby and I are nothing more than "roommates" raising a child together. I have only one left at home a teenager, but when he graduates school and goes out on his own, I will have no more purpose to serve in my relationship. I feel like the maid, the cook and the housecleaner... nothing more. It is a shame for once we had a very passionate relationship. As the years rolled by we grew further and further apart. I won't leave because I still have a child at home and I will not upset his life because I am lonely and alone, so I just deal with it on a daily basis, wash those dishes, clean, cook etc and cry to myself at night when the lonliness nearly kills me.
I hope you find it again... Hell, I hope all of us in the same boat get lucky on that end!
Best wishes,
Frogz~FROGZ~
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Frog...sorry to here your tail. I hear my wife complain about all she does is laundry, cook, etc. for the family. She complains....but I know she does the work because she loves us, I asked her if I could help with the laundry, she says no. I do help with the cooking....the kids like most of my stuff. Ha! I do all the outside stuff....anyway we work like a meachine.....but their is love. We're going on a Cruise for a week next month. Take some time off....find yourselfs again ! Good Luck ! IAD.?Be who you are and say what you feel because
those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
Dr. Seuss
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Frogz
I could have written your exact post. I can so relate to the roomates raising a child together. My youngest has 5 yrs of school left and it seems like an eternity. I too am the maid and feel so lonely.
I often wonder how much the AL has played into the situation. If I was happier in my home life would I have drank less and if I drank less would I be happier in my home life. He has always been a drinker and also did some drugs, but i can not put all the blame on him.
It is an extremely lonely way to live. I know that we are past the trying to make it work.
Captn, I hope that you can work out your relationship. Good for you to recognize there is a problem, but it is not always easy to resolve. It will take time and work. Best Wishes.
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wow. if i had stayed married it would be 13 yrs now. i left as he was physically abusive. can't have that! i've not had another serious relationship to speak of since. i imagine that if i had a partner life would have been more fun. the more i mature the more i doubt this. at this point i think there is no "perfect' person. maybe someone who would be pleasant to be with but not perfect. i don't even know why people marry?
i see too many people hurting each other unintentionally for marriage to make sense.
please don't think i am being critical of anyone... i'm just thinking out loud really.
gosh ... i was having an okay day.... until i started thinking about this kind of stuff!
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I'm sorry Capt..I truly am. The pain that goes along with this is very hard to bear sometimes. I was with my ex close to ten years and it faded away, slowly but it did all the same. He was a workaholic and I always felt like number 2, and when I saw our child being number 3 it was time to leave. If you do truly love her still just try talking to her, and see what comes of that. If there is love there still, it will work out the way it's supposed to. Whatever way it goes you both have to be true to your hearts. My best wishes and thoughts to you....
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Captnjack;358338 wrote: I love my partener so much!!! however 18 years I just can't pin point it but I think I have fallen out of love...... I think..... I'm not sure???? she is my best freind she is wonderfull , but I have forgotten that falling in LOVE thing !!!!. I so wish to fall in love again those first few days define a life time and are so wonderful..... sorry thinking aloud
And maybe go somewhere where you went in those early times to re-create and re-honour how special they were. Go all out!
(the most romantic thing my partner has ever done for me was a delivery of roses on my birthday. We were having a sticky time, and that was what was so romantic .....)
the fact that you still love her and that she is still your best friend is terrific!!!! Magic takes some space though - but you can find it!!!!Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn
Harriet Beecher Stowe
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I can relate. I am sitting here right beside my partner. We are both typing away on our computers. Our kids are sleeping snuggly up in their rooms. I have a deep love for him, my partner. But we have so many differences, and so little left of "that lovin' feeling". He has supported me through my struggles with AL. But not all the way. He does not understand. And when I am doing well, he "takes advantage of me".-- I mean he just uses me for all I am worth. And why shouldn't he? He has suffered enough. But it kills me.Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005
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Beatle, It's your differences that bought you together.....uposites attract ! Try to understand each other...Learn from each other ! IAD!?Be who you are and say what you feel because
those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
Dr. Seuss
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I honestly think that differences are good, but you have to have a lot of common ground as well. Being thoughtful to eachother really works. I always love the simple and small things; a little note pinned to the fridge, back rubs, talking, stolen kisses, laughing together, family outings...it's simple and it works.
Beatle - I'm sorry he takes advantage of you, just remember who you are and that you are important..with the drink, or without it. And you deserve to be just as happy.
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