Not even 12 hours in, and...

[4tops]

I feel like I'm being punished. I feel like wine is the only little reward I get at the end of my day, and I'm efficient, organized, loving, receptive, timely, and all the rest of the the rest of the day...why can't I have this? I have to be so disciplined about everything else, and then I can't have the wine, too? Really, feels like punishment. How to get over that?

[Accountable for Me]

Not even 12 hours in, and...

I honestly think the reason why you are feeling so anxious and like it is a punishment is because you are doing this for him, and not you.

You seriously need to talk to him. You are only going to resent him.

[4tops]

Not even 12 hours in, and...

Oh! Here is where you meant. You are right. Absolutely. That's why I'm feeling so angry, like I'm backed into a corner. But he's so concerned...I don't know what to do about it. If I keep drinking this amount, then as far as he's thinking, that says it all. I "can't" just give it up for a while, so that should qualify me as having a problem. If I say I just don't "want" to give it up, then he can say I'm choosing wine over his fears, and concern for my health. I feel totally caught. Does this make any sense?

[bestlifeldms]

Not even 12 hours in, and...

HUMMMMM, I used to resent my husband because he hounded me to stop drinking. I thought it was that he was trying to be controlling and I really resented him for it. Over time I came to realize that he really wasn't trying to control me and that I really was drinking too much. My hub was concerned about my drinking because he loves and cares about me and doesn't want me to hasten my demise. I used the anger and control issue as an excuse in order to continue to drink. I know everyone's situation is different. This is just what evolved in my relationship. Now, I am AF and there is no more focus on my drinking. If there is an issue, we can stay focused on the issue and not drag alcohol into the discussion. Someone else here said "No more pushing my Shame Button". I liked that. It's true. Everytime there was a problem, we would get diverted to my "drinking". So nice not to have that happen any more. Just a few thoughts.

Best

[louise]

Not even 12 hours in, and...

Maybe you should talk to your dr. and be totally honest about how much you are drinking and see what he/she says. I would be very surprised if they were not concerned about you drinking 3-4 glasses a night. How about if you just try it for a week and see how you feel. Surely, if it is really not a problem at all you will be able to find another reward for a week.

[gelgit]

Not even 12 hours in, and...

THANK YOU 4Tops!!!! I am too sweaty, dirty and tired to stay online for long, but I caught you post and it saved me!! I was really allowing myself to give in to thoughts of a short shower and a long glass of wine. Why not??

Because, it is poison. Al is no good for me. All the clammering voices in my head can't cover up the facts. It's only for me that I won't drink tonight. For my own health and sanity. It's the one way a sober alkie gets to be righteously selfish. Be well. xxx g.