31 Ways to remain sober
? excerpts from the book "Living Sober"
Contents
Using this booklet
Staying away from the first drink
Using the 24-hour plan
Remembering that alcoholism is an incurable,
progressive, fatal disease
"Live and Let Live"
Getting active
Using the Serenity Prayer
Changing old routines
Eating or drinking something ? usually, sweet
Making use of "telephone therapy"
Availing yourself of a sponsor
Getting plenty of rest
"First Things First"
Fending off loneliness
Watching out for anger and resentments
Being good to yourself
Looking out for overelation
"Easy Does It"
Being grateful
Remembering your last drunk
Avoiding dangerous drugs and medications
Eliminating self-pity
Seeking professional help
Steering clear of emotional entanglements
Getting out of the "if" trap
Being wary of drinking occasions
Letting of old ideas
Reading the A.A. message
Going to A.A. meetings
Trying the Twelve Steps
Finding your own way
back 1 Using this booklet
This booklet does not offer a plan for recovery from alcoholism. The Alcoholics Anonymous Steps that summarise its program of recovery are set forth in detail in the books "Alcoholics Anonymous" and "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions." Those steps are not interpreted here, nor are the processes they cover discussed in this booklet.
Perhaps some of the suggestions offered here will not appeal to you. If that is the case, we have found that, instead of rejecting them forever it's a better idea to just set them aside for the time being. f we don't close our minds too them permanently, we can always go back later on and try out ideas we didn't like before ? if we want to.
back 2 Staying away from the first drink
Expressions commonly heard in A.A. are "If you don't take that first drink, you can't get drunk" and "One drink is too many, but twenty are not enough."
Many of us, when we first began to drink, never wanted or took more than one or two drinks. But as time went on, we increased the number. Then, in later years we found ourselves drinking more and more, some of us getting and staying very drunk. Maybe our condition didn't always show in our speech or our gait, but this time we were never actually sober.
If that bother us too much, we would cut down, ooor try to limit ourselves to just one or two, or switch from hard liquor to beer or wine. At least, we tried to limit the amount, so we would not g et too disastrously tight. OOr we tried to hide how much we drank.
But all these measures got more and more difficult. Occasionally, we went on the wagon, and did not drink at all for a while.
Eventually, we would go back to drinking ? just one drink.
Instead of trying to figure out how many we could handle ? four? ? six? ? a dozen? ? we remember, "Just don;t pick up that first drink." It is so much simpler. The habit of thinking this way has helped hundreds of thousands of us stay sober for years.
back 3 Using the 24-hour plan
In our drinking days, we often had such bad times that we swore, "Never again." We took pledges for as long as a year, or promised someone we would not touch the stuff for three weeks, or three months. And of course, we tried going on the wagon for various periods of time.
Although we realise that alcoholism is a permanent, irreversible condition, our experience has taught us to make no long-term promises about staying sober. We have found it more realistic ? and more successful ? to say, "I am not taking a drink just for today."
Even if we drank yesterday, we can plan not to drink today. We may drink tomorrow ? who knows whether we'll even be alive then? ? but for this 24 hours, we decide not to drink. No matter what the temptation or provocation, we determine to go to any extremes necessary to avoid a drink today.
back 4 Remembering that alcoholism is an incurable,
progressive, fatal disease
Many people in the world know they cannot eat certain foods ? oysters or strawberries or eggs or cucumbers or sugar or something else ? without getting very uncomfortable and maybe even quite sick.
A person with a food allergy of this kind can goo around feeling a loot of self-pity, complaining to everyone that he or she is unfairly deprived, and constantly whining about not being able, or allowed, to eat something delicious.
Obviously, even though we may feel cheated, it isn't wise to ignore our own physiological makeup. If our limitations are ignored, severe discomfort or illness may result. To stay healthy and reasonably happy, we must learn to live with the bodies we have.
One of the new thinking habits a recovering alcoholic can develop is a calm view of himself or herself as someone who needs to avoid chemicals (alcohol and other drugs that are substitutes for it) if he or she wants to maintain good health.
back 5 "Live and Let Live"
The old saying "Live and Let Live" seems so commonplace, it is easy to overlook its value. Of course, one reason it has been said over and over for years is that it has proved beneficial in so many ways.
To begin to put the concept of "Live and Let Live" into practice, we must face this fact: there are people in A.A., and everywhere else, who sometimes say things we disagree with, or do things we don't like. Learning to live with differences is essential to our comfort.
In fact, in A.A. much emphasis is placed on learning how to tolerate other people's behaviour. However offensive or distasteful it may seem to us, it is certainly not worth drinking about. Our own recovery is too important. Alcoholism can and does kill, we recall.
We have learned it pays to make a very special effort to try to understand other people, especially anyone who rubs us the wrong way. For our recovery, it is more important to understand than to be understood. This is not very difficult if we bear in mind that the other A.A. members too, are trying to understand, just as we are.
When we spend time with people we like, we are less annoyed by those we don't particularly care for. As time goes on, we find we are not afraid simply to walk away from people who irritate us, instead of meekly letting them get under our skin, or instead of trying to straighten them out just so they will suit us better.
Live! Be concerned with your own living.
back 6 Getting active
It is very hard just to sit still trying not to do a certain thing, or not even to think about it. It's much easier to get active and do something else ? other than the act we're trying to avoid.
So it is with drinking. Simply trying to avoid a drink (or not think of one), all by itself, doesn't seem to be enough. The more we think about the drink we're trying to keep away from, the more it occupies our mind, of course, and that's not good. It's better to get busy with something, almost anything, that will use our mind and channel our energy toward health.
back 7 Using the Serenity Prayer
On the walls of thousands of A.A. meeting rooms, in any of a variety of languages, this invocation can be seen:
God grant us the serenity to accept
the things we cannot change,
The courage, to change the things we can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
That word "serenity" looked like an impossible goal when we first saw the prayer. In fact, if serenity meant apathy, bitter resignation, or stolid endurance, then we didn't even want to aim at it. But we found that serenity meant no such thing. When it comes to us now, it is more as plain recognition ? a clear-eyed, realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner peace and strength. Serenity is like a gyroscope that lets us keep our balance no matter what turbulence swirls around us. And that is a state of mind worth aiming for.
back 8 Changing old routines
Certain set times, familiar places, and regular activaties associated with drinking have been woven closely into the fabric of our lives. Like fatigue, hunger, loneliness, anger, and overelation, these old routines can prove to be traps dangerous to our sobriety.
To illustrate: Many who used to begin the day with an eye-opener in the bathroom now head for coffee in the kitchen. Some of us before bathing and dressing, or vice versa. A change in brands of toothpaste and mouthwash (be careful about the alcohol content!) gave us a fresh, different taste to start out with. We tried a little exercise or a few quiet moments of contemplation or meditation before plunging into the day.
For many of us, this has also meant forgoing, at least foor a while, the company of our hard-drinking buddies. If they are true friends, they naturally are glad to see us take care of our health, and they respect our right to do whatever we want to do, just as we respect their right to drink if they choose. But we have learned to be wary of anyone who persists in urging us to drink again. Those who really love us, it seems encourage our efforts to stay well.
back 9 Eating or drinking something ? usually, sweet
Can you imagine drinking a bourbon and soda right after a chocolate malted? Or a beer on top of a piece of cake with icing
If you are not too ill to read on, you will agree that they don't sound exactly made for each other.
Many of us have learned that something sweet-tasting, or almost any nourishing food or snack, seems to dampen a bit the desire for a drink. So, from time to time, we remind each other never to get too hungry.
back 10 Making use of "telephone therapy"
When we were first trying to achieve sobriety, many of us found ourselves taking a drink without planning to. sometimes, it seemed to happen practically without our knowing it. there was no conscious decision to drink, and there was no real thought about possible consequences. We had not intended to set off an entire drinking episode.
Now we have learned that simply postponing that first drink, putting something else in tis place, provides us with a chance to think about our drinking history, to think about the disease of alchoholism, and to think about the probable results of starting to drink.
Fortunately, we can do more than just think about it, and we do. we telephone someone.
When we stopped drinking, we were told repeatedly too get A.A. people's telephone numbers, and instead of drinking, to phone these people.
At first, the thought of telephoning a new acquaintance, someone you barely knew, seemed strange, and most of us were reluctant. But the A.A.'s ? those with more nondrinking days behind them than we had ? kept suggesting it. They said they understood why we hesitated, because they had felt the same way, Nevertheless, they said just try it, at least once.
And so finally, thousands and thousands of us have. To our relief, it turned out to be an easy, pleasant experience. Best of all, it worked.
back 11 Availing yourself of a sponsor
Not every A.A. member has had a sponsor. But thousands of us say we would not be alive were it not for the special friendship of one recovered alcoholic in the first months and years of our sobriety.
Often, the sponsor is the first person to call on a problem drinker who wants help ? or the first recovered alcoholic to talk with the inquirer if he or she goes to an A.A. office ? or the A.A. member volunteering to "sponsor" an alcoholic about to be released from a detox or rehab unit, a hospital, or a correctional facility.
One reason it is a good idea to have a sponsor is that you have a friendly guide during those first days and weeks when A.A. seems strange and new, before you feel you know your own way around. Besides, a sponsor can spend far moore time with you, and give you far more individual attention, than a busy professional helper possibly could. Sponsors make house calls, even at night.
Like a good parent, a wise sponsor can let the newcomer alone, when necessary; can let the noewcoomer make his or her own mistakes; can see the newcomer rejectingh advice and still not get angry or feel spurned. A sharp sonsor tries hard too keep vanity and hurt feelings ut of the way in sponsorship.
And the best sponsors are really delighted when the newcomoer is able t step out past the stage of being sponsored. Not that we ever have too go it altogether alone. But the time does come when even a young bird must use its own wings and start its own family. Happy flying!
back 12 Getting plenty of rest
For at least three reasons, people who drink heavily often cannot realise how tired they are. The reasons are three characteristics of alcohol: (I) It is full of caloories, which give instant energy; (2) it numbs the central nervous system, s that one cannot fully feel body discomfort; (3) after its anesthetic effect wears off, it produces agitation that feels like energy.
After we stop drinking, the agitatin effect may persist for a while, leading to jumpiness and insomnia. OOr we may suddenly become aware of our fatigue and so feel worn-out and lethargic. OOr the two conditins may alternate.
Either is a normal reaction that thousands of us have had at the very beginning of our sobriety, in degrees depending on our previoous drinking and general state of health. Both wear off sooner or later and need not cause any alarm.
But it is very important to get plenty of rest when we stop drinking because the notion of having a drink seems to arrive from nowhere with greater ease when we are tired.
Many of us wondered why we suddenly feel like taking a drink, for no apparent reason. Chances are, we have used up too much energy and have not had enough rest. Generally, a snack or a little nap can change our feelings completely, and the idea of a drink vanishes. Even if we can't fall asleep, just a fwe minutes of lying down, or relaxing in a chair or a tub, take the edge off the fatigue.
The beauty of sober sleep, oonce it is achieved, is the sheer pleasure of waking up ? no real hangover, no worries about what may have happened in last night's blackoout. instead, it means facing the new day refreshed, hopeful, and grateful.
back 13 "First Things First"
to be conitinue
Comment