Ok guys, I need help quick! I hope some councelors, or someone on here can tell me what to do, besides relax, because I'm really having a hard time with that one. I've poste my story before, but for anyone new, here it is in a nutshell...never drank much, got drunk til nearly 40, so for about 10 yrs., daughter was 12, son 15....I never missed work when I was working, never left them, forgot them, missed an activity, didn't abuse them, except for the abuse seeing me drunk was, this wasn't that often, and I didn't drink daily. I was so just darn near perfect, that everytime I got drunk and was not behaving well, or scared them with my personality change, it was naturally scary for them. My daughter is my best friend, she's 22 now....there was one pretty bad episode, all my fault, when she was here at the house one night, she's in college and just lives a few miles away, stepson was in town, and was here also...his Mom has been a hard and heavy drinker, but functional most times, and successful too....(sound familiar about many of us?!)....anyway, I was very upset, and hubby and I were arguing and I'd held alot in, and it spewed out. Daughter went nuts, left, changed her cell number, I couldn't get her, I couldn't explain, went nearly a month without contact. I kept e-mailing her and kept in contact that way, this after she yelled and screamed, cussed me out, went as ballistic sober, as I was drunk. I promised her it'd never happen again, and it hasn't, a few times we both had a couple, once I did have too much on vacation, not ever again was it "ugly", just a tad tooted. She really thought and I'd told her, I had this under control, the bad incident, was 3 Christmases past. I've had 2 times with her knowing I overindulged, since. One was this Sat. night. I have been on the anabuse all week, done fine, and have mod'd well, except with a few slips after Bear died. I had no idea you lost your "resistence" so quick! I was going to keep the anabuse up over the weekend, then a big gathering came up to celebrate our horses win, and so I was going to take the anabuse again on Monday, so I could have a few celebration toasts, which has worked well. I decided to drank not my fav., which is wine, and so had margarita's with the others, had 2 and OMG, they must have had lots more liquor in them than I knew!!! Plus, I never drink hard liquor! I was toasted by the time we got home, and made the big mistake answering the phone, it was my daughter, and she went nuts, drove down here to see my "condition", it wasn't the greatest....I just went to bed, didn't say much, except I didn't mean for it to happen, and apologized. She stayed around and then left while I was still asleep. She won't answer her phone, has called our mutual councelor,
that I'm really not very happy with, she knows I am on this site, she knows I have worked on this, she knows how very far I've come, but her hubby went to Hazelton, quit a high powered job to become a Phd in intervention, ditto she has a cert. for counceling, and when my daughter called her upset, to tell her what had happened, appartently the counselor, that I've known for 20 yrs., that also went to the Meadows for alcohol and Rx addiction, and has been ok for 27yrs., tells my daughter the last time she saw me....that I had a puffy face, lack of luster of my hair and skin, and was concerned about my health!!!! I had confided in her about my membership here, asked her to not discuss it with my daughter, and why she'd say that, knowing my daughter was overly, and a bit overzealous about the situation, I have no idea! She tells my daughter that I should enter the Meadows treatment center, that it was the best thing I could do. First off, and this is no denial or excuse, I'd been sick the night before I saw her last, and said so, and I guess she thought it was bunk...I was there on a separate issue concerning my son! Now, my daughter has written me awful e-mails, and she's a very sweet girl, but has told me she will not talk to be again unless I go to this Meadows place, period, no exceptions! She has told me I look like shit, which I do not, in fact, like many others have mentioned, I've had folks ask me what I've done my hair and skin look so much prettier. This has really, really hurt me. I know its my fault, my problem, my mistake, but it still hurts. I go to Johns Hopkins, they've checked me out totally, I told my Dr. there that I'd overindulged at times over the years, and could he check me out, I was working on cutting down and quitting, he did, I was fine. I don't need hospitalization and a 35 dy stint in some Meadows place. My daughter, whom is my best pal, we do tons together, travel, have a blast, do yoga together, I've supported her every dream, goal and always been here. She says she will cut me out of her life, I'll never know a thing about her, I'll never see her wedding when it happens, ditto any grandkids, if I don't go to this Meadows. I have told her I'd go to an AA meeting/s, if it'd help, that this is like AA and I have tons of friends and support here, and its very well respected, and the councelor told her "its worthless"...I told her I was taking anabuse, so drinking was off the table, and I'd stay on it, and never drink again, she insists on the Meadows. I can't even go there to appease her, I have cancer on my ins. now, and can't have anything else, or I won't have coverage in case of a relaspe, and can't afford this place. She's being very mean, and not bending. I called the councelor, told her I would do AA, and anabuse, and would she tell Alex that was a concession, and there was always time for something else. I think she will. She still thinks the only solutions to this, is inpatient treatment, I guess cuz that's how she and her hubby did it. My daughter is also threatening to come get "her" dog...."her" dog has lived here 2 yrs., and is like my child, I bought him, I pay his vet bills, he hates to have his routine interrupted, and gets sick everytime he has to stay elsewhere....I think thats another scare tactic, but to involve a poor innocent animal, and make its life miserable, away from his pals, and home, is just about as bad as what she feels I've done. I can't let that happen to him. I told her that this isn't something that is something I did on purpose, and that I thought families loved each other thru anything, I would her...that's its something inherited most likely, since my whole Dad's side of the family had it, and it should be looked at like diabetes, or arthritis. I know I've scared her, and not been perfect, I've admitted it, apologized, told her I love her....and still NADA.... Also, we've been planning a trip to Costa Rica forever, she goes almost everywhere with us, and its paid for in full, and in 2.5 weeks, she says she's not going now. I'm really freaking out.....please anyone that has any experiences, advice, I need it, and QUICK....love you guys, thanks!:upset:
that I'm really not very happy with, she knows I am on this site, she knows I have worked on this, she knows how very far I've come, but her hubby went to Hazelton, quit a high powered job to become a Phd in intervention, ditto she has a cert. for counceling, and when my daughter called her upset, to tell her what had happened, appartently the counselor, that I've known for 20 yrs., that also went to the Meadows for alcohol and Rx addiction, and has been ok for 27yrs., tells my daughter the last time she saw me....that I had a puffy face, lack of luster of my hair and skin, and was concerned about my health!!!! I had confided in her about my membership here, asked her to not discuss it with my daughter, and why she'd say that, knowing my daughter was overly, and a bit overzealous about the situation, I have no idea! She tells my daughter that I should enter the Meadows treatment center, that it was the best thing I could do. First off, and this is no denial or excuse, I'd been sick the night before I saw her last, and said so, and I guess she thought it was bunk...I was there on a separate issue concerning my son! Now, my daughter has written me awful e-mails, and she's a very sweet girl, but has told me she will not talk to be again unless I go to this Meadows place, period, no exceptions! She has told me I look like shit, which I do not, in fact, like many others have mentioned, I've had folks ask me what I've done my hair and skin look so much prettier. This has really, really hurt me. I know its my fault, my problem, my mistake, but it still hurts. I go to Johns Hopkins, they've checked me out totally, I told my Dr. there that I'd overindulged at times over the years, and could he check me out, I was working on cutting down and quitting, he did, I was fine. I don't need hospitalization and a 35 dy stint in some Meadows place. My daughter, whom is my best pal, we do tons together, travel, have a blast, do yoga together, I've supported her every dream, goal and always been here. She says she will cut me out of her life, I'll never know a thing about her, I'll never see her wedding when it happens, ditto any grandkids, if I don't go to this Meadows. I have told her I'd go to an AA meeting/s, if it'd help, that this is like AA and I have tons of friends and support here, and its very well respected, and the councelor told her "its worthless"...I told her I was taking anabuse, so drinking was off the table, and I'd stay on it, and never drink again, she insists on the Meadows. I can't even go there to appease her, I have cancer on my ins. now, and can't have anything else, or I won't have coverage in case of a relaspe, and can't afford this place. She's being very mean, and not bending. I called the councelor, told her I would do AA, and anabuse, and would she tell Alex that was a concession, and there was always time for something else. I think she will. She still thinks the only solutions to this, is inpatient treatment, I guess cuz that's how she and her hubby did it. My daughter is also threatening to come get "her" dog...."her" dog has lived here 2 yrs., and is like my child, I bought him, I pay his vet bills, he hates to have his routine interrupted, and gets sick everytime he has to stay elsewhere....I think thats another scare tactic, but to involve a poor innocent animal, and make its life miserable, away from his pals, and home, is just about as bad as what she feels I've done. I can't let that happen to him. I told her that this isn't something that is something I did on purpose, and that I thought families loved each other thru anything, I would her...that's its something inherited most likely, since my whole Dad's side of the family had it, and it should be looked at like diabetes, or arthritis. I know I've scared her, and not been perfect, I've admitted it, apologized, told her I love her....and still NADA.... Also, we've been planning a trip to Costa Rica forever, she goes almost everywhere with us, and its paid for in full, and in 2.5 weeks, she says she's not going now. I'm really freaking out.....please anyone that has any experiences, advice, I need it, and QUICK....love you guys, thanks!:upset:
ray:
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