Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

[toughintexas]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

WOW, just got back from a calm, peaceful, taking my mind off my problems visit with my friends that are like my parents, and plugged in computer again! I promise you all.....

[toughintexas]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

OPPS, POWER CORD CAME UNDONE! Anyway, I promise you all that I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW I EVER MANAGED WITHOUT THIS SITE! I've paid thousands of dollars for "therapy" and none of it has ever been THIS INSPIRING!! Ya know, we must be the sweetest, smartest, most sensitive, wisest set of alkies in Gods Green Earth!!!! (ok, I'm trying hard for some humor here!) I have not heard from daughter, have not called her, and wrote her the last e-mail on Mon., telling her I'd sure meet her halfway, and apologized again, told her how much she meant to me, that cussing and making demands, really weren't benefical, and that besides "Meadows", I'd consider whatever else, and she could call me when she wasn't so upset, which I knew I'd caused....haven't had a call, and I have wanted to "chill-out", so I haven't even checked my e-mail since then, need a few nights sleep, and some distance, just in case she wrote another ugly letter. Best, that is soooo true, and my hubby has practically parrotted yours, I let him read all that you each wrote, and he was like...."see, told you!" He thinks you are all precious and wonderful too! KateH probably has cauliflower ears today, I about wore hers out yesterday, but all she shared with me, sure drove home alot also. Thanks KateH, for taking time to really chat. Ditto More2, she and I may have to lock our respective kids up together in a padded room and lock the door and shallow the key, and go to a spa and leave our cell phones at home! Roberta even departed wonderful insight and advice. I CANNOT TELL EACH OF YOU HOW VERY MUCH YOUR RESPONSES MEANT TO ME!!!! I promise to always be here for any of you, anytime also! I'm hoping in a few days, things will be looking up. Funny thing, I've gotten sweet support from son and stepson, that was heartwarming. I will continue to keep on keeping on, and I'm ditching mods, I'm too scared to falter again. I found a cool group called Celebrate Recovery at our church too, had no idea it existed, they say they fill a huge building every Monday night, so I'm gonna go check that out, maybe daughter will like that....I'm doing it for me tho!!! As for the trip, if I don't hear from her by Monday, I'll just see what I can do to get the money back, or something! No biggie, just a huge shame. I'm turning in early, I've read everything you've all written THREE times, and I think I will put on my Poodle PJ's and tuck the bulldog under them!!!! LOL I love you each and everyone, thank you for helping me not have that heart attack, drinking and cancer survival is about all the health stuff I can handle right now, so you have saved me from more insurance expense too! Love, TITTY BABY lately, but not tomorrow!

[toughintexas]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

Oh and Hart and Nibs and Cindi....I hear ya on the bratty stuff.....LOL......you are right! Ditto Bird! Love you guys! And yep, after the thousands, literally of $$ I've paid my friend/therapist, in her office, in a professional setting, friend part was not on a social basis, but I'd like to kick her butt to China, I will find another non-Nazi AA freak! If I need one, I'm about to think its not worth it, I'll just talk to you all for free, well, except the phone bill that they'll need to deliver by UPS truck next month! Opps!

[lucky 2.0]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

TIT-

You sound fabulous and very sensible about the matter. Just make sure you do all your calling from your cell phone so you do not have a staggering landline long distance bill!

Continued optimism from me regarding your success with al (I refuse to give it the dignity of capital letters) and in a relationship that is healthy for both of you with dear daughter.

Well, the others are far wiser than me in this issue so I will sign off.

xo

[Accountable for Me]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

I am going to keep my comments to myself about this one. When it comes to family; it can be pretty touchy and emotional.

I just wanted to send you loads of :l's; to ask you to stand tall, and be proud of your accomplishments to date.

UGH. I cannot wait until my daughters are old enough to put me in my place - not. Time to practice on how I will deal with this type of stuff.

[CS04]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

ACM, how old are your daughters?

[Accountable for Me]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

One is almost 15 and the other is 3. My 14 year old suffered emotionally because of my drinking and would have a flying fit if she ever sees me drunk again. I promised her I would never drink again.

I made a mistake by promising her something that I am not sure I will 100% be able to deliver. So if that day ever happens; I could be in TNT's shoes.

My youngest, she has no recollection of my drinking days and I am praying she never will.

[KateH1]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

Hey Tit!

You are sounding so good, I know how hard this has been, but you have such a healthy attitude. I also love the fact that you and your husband are going to have a wonderful trip, just the two of you!! Hell, you can run around naked in your hotel room!!

You are doing so well, and as we talked about, you are moving to a new relationship with your daughter that in the end, will make her stronger! She certainly has a formidable role model in you!!

Love you, my friend!
XXX Kate

[bestlifeldms]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

TIT ROCKS!!!

[Evie.Lou]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE A POWER PLAY ON HER PART IMMATURE AND CONTROLLING.IT MIGHT BE TIME TO BUILD A LIFE OF YOUR OWN SEPARATE FROM THE ROLE OF MOTHER.ONCE SHE BECOMES A MOTHER IN HER OWN RIGHT,SHE WILL BEGIN TO SEE YOU THUR DIFFERENT EYES...TAKE YOUR ANATBUSE,EVERYDAY...THEN THERE IS ZERO CHANCE OF RELAPSE...YOU CAN TELL HER THAT AND AS YOU DO IT,YOU WILL BEGIN TO RECOVER....

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

Hi TIT-

I have been away and just now saw this thread...so...here is my take on it, for what it is worth...

Let's not look at "right" and "wrong" for a moment, because it just provides a "winner" and not a solution to this issue. At 22, your daughter is still your little girl, and she loves you completely, and is scared. She wants you to be ok and is feeling quite certain that you are not. Her anger and threats are her way of trying to save you. Nothing more.

What the counsellor said or did not say to her is really uncertain. You only know what your daughter told you the counsellor said, so it may be her version of the truth.

In your daughter's mind, the meadows is "the" answer, because she has seen it work before. Yes, there are many ways to deal with this issue, and you may find a different way. Bottom line, you are still struggling with alcohol, even if you have improved, and this is what your daughter is seeing. I am NOT making a judgement here...believe me!!! I am still struggling, and drinking, and can not judge anyone else. I am just saying what I see in your situation. Your daughter will cool down. You can try to explain what you are trying to do, but ultimately your behavior is what will have her come around. The more time that goes by that she sees you sober, the more she will come back around. In the meantime, I would just suggest keeping the lines of communication open for her, so that she knows she can call you when she is ready.

Keep up the fight, and enjoy your vacation.

with love

Beth

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

I wanted to write more but was afraid of timing out.

If your daughter wants to discuss treatment options with you again, you may have to say to her...

"Honey, I love you and I know you are making your suggestion out of love, but the meadows is not something I can do right now. I have to find my own path, and I am trying. I don't want to lose you and our relationship, but threatening that is not an answer. No one can be blackmailed into becoming sober. I know you are worried about me. I am too. If I cannot do this another way, I may have to consider in-patient treatment, but I am not ready to do this now. Please try to understand this if you can."

Also, why do you and your daughter share a counsellor? That is kinda dicey...IMO...you may want to get your own...and you may want someone who specializes in addiction...but not someone who is ONLY a 12 step advocate. There are those out there who are very successful with their patients and are open to many ways to deal with alcohol. Just a thought.

With love

Beth

[southernbelle47]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

What Beth said!

Much love sent your way.
Nancy

[KateH1]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

Beth, it is so good to have you back!! You truly are brilliant! Such sage advice......how did you get so wise
TIT, thinking of you, I know you are doing well......keep being who you are because that person is very special!!

XX Kate

[brittzak]

Upset my daughter..'bout to have a heart attack over it!

Beth, that was very good insight.......I think you hit that one right on the head.