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Trying my luck

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    #1

    Trying my luck

    Ok I did it - had a couple beers with a freind yesterday. I been AF since Jan, but was really wanting to see about modding. More specifically I wanted to know if I really have a problem i can't control, or if maybe I just got carried away at some point. I figured remaining strictly AF was pretty much running from that truth, whatever it is.

    I say that realizing that AF is the best (in some cases only) option for a lot of people, and that may include me, I don't know yet. I just gotta see. So nothing really special to report. Had a few beers, got really tired and went to bed early cause I got work today. Can't really say I'm in any big hurry to drink again either....not because yesterday was unpleasant or anything, just that af is the norm now pretty much. Couldn't say when I will drink again come to think of it. Times going to have to tell who's in control here, me or al.

    Of course als gonna have to wait for awhile, I got a pretty busy schedule coming up. I'll get back to him when I can

    Take care all.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Trying my luck

    Believe,

    I really hope this works out for you. It sounds like you are off to a great start with a "take it or leave it" attitude.

    All the Best,
    Beck

    Sometimes you get there in spite of your route, losing track of your life and what it's about, the road seems to know when to straighten right out...Mary Chapin Carpenter

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      #3
      Trying my luck

      I love the way you are putting AL on the back burner - that'll teach him a lesson!!
      "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

      Comment

        #4
        Trying my luck

        Sounds like you're starting off with the right attitude! Unfortunately I still struggle to put AL on the back burner!
        Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

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          #5
          Trying my luck

          Hi Believe,
          I know you have been thinking of trying to mod for a quite a while now. I think if there is a blue print for how to go about modding, you have written it dear heart. You have over six months AF. You have worked on yourself in so many ways, you truly are amazing! You did not decide to have a drink out of compulsion, but with careful thought to handling alcohol differently, casually. You do seem to have the needed attitude of take it or leave it! I sure admire you for this! If ever there was a person who has given modding the best start possible, in my book, that would be you! I know, that you will make wise decisions, you are so very conciouse of all aspects of alcohol.

          Believe, I wish you success in this, what ever you do, I wish you health and safety. No matter what, you will always be "our little bro".......did any guy ever have so many big sisters!!! Hahaha

          Love Ya!
          XXX Kate
          A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

          AF 12/6/2007

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            #6
            Trying my luck

            There was a time that I could just have a few and not lose my balance.I know that time has come and gone.For me 1 is TOOOO many and 1,000.00 would not be enough.We are all different and I hope that this works in your life.If I could be a social drinker....That would be my first choice...I will have to settle for choice number two....AF..
            sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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              #7
              Trying my luck

              Cool I appreciate the support and understanding! Not feeling too hot today though so it'll be a little while before I have another drink!

              K8 I'll of course try to do you & my other MWO Sisters proud!

              Comment

                #8
                Trying my luck

                Believe, I think you have proven you are in control over Al. Just keep that control. I am wishing you the best!
                "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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                  #9
                  Trying my luck

                  Thanks Beaches, thats my goal, control over al. Not neccessarily drinking again. I have to admit that I was wholly unimpressed by my little experiment. I mean I had a few, went to bed early, and woke up feeling like crap. That feeling stuck with me all day too. Not the worst hangover I ever had, but enough of one for me to wonder WTF I was thinking in the first place lol. I called my buddy that I'd had the beers with yesterday and was whining about how rough I felt, he pretty much felt the same. I said forget this shit man, I'm going back to not drinking. He said he was too.

                  Of course my view of complete control over myself and al involves being able to drink occasionally, so I'll remain open to the idea...but still I prefer the af way of life, its a nuch higher standard of living. I'm going to a wedding in August, that would be the absolute soonest I would consider drinking again. Originally I had decided that when I do drink, I'm going to drink till I get my fill since my measure of success would be the frequency of drinking occasions vs. how much I drink on those occasions. But after the way I felt yesterday, I'm thinking my "fill" will be ONE, or maybe I'll binge and have two, but then I'll be switching to cokes and water. In my book nothing is worth that hungover feeling, and i guarantee the memory of being miserable all day yesterday will be at the forefront of my mind next time I think about drinking.

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                    #10
                    Trying my luck

                    beleive,step 1 you told someone,thtts good,obviously somthin worked 4 six months,great, thts what i find here different than AA,not that AA doesnt work but its not for every 1,like Eve says you find your own way eventually,i have worked the start ,stop process for years because i didnt no what was wrong with me,we tend to beat are selves up when we drink and someone says were alchoholics,and we beat are selves up when were not drinkin,thinkin aftr years of stoppin we can drink again,just my tht ,keep comin here beleive never leave the roots tht got you to where u are now ,keep thinkin youll do ok gyco

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                      #11
                      Trying my luck

                      Haha I'll never leave gyco, this board is a great place. I think the very fact that you're here puts you way ahead of a lot of people. Theres lots of people on here who didn't fit the whole AA mold, so it didn't work so well for them. Not that there is a mold for our problem though, it all boils down to a very personal struggle for all of us as individuals. Keep coming here yourself as well. No one can fight your fight for you, but theres lots of folks here who can help you get by..

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Trying my luck

                        Believe I haven't been on the boards nearly enough when I scroll down and find I missed THIS THREAD!! I've got to cut back at work to spend some quality time reading here!!:H

                        Well ~~ You know how I feel about this BUT .... I have often thought to myself if I would have put forth some serious effort when I was your age to mod --- I do believe it would have been possible. SO with that said ~~ Just be very aware of the cravings you get. That will be a big indicator for you. If you truly can take it or leave it as the weeks come and go -- then you are going to be our MODDING Baby Bro!!

                        Love to you
                        AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


                        Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


                        (from the Movie "Once")

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                          #13
                          Trying my luck

                          Thanks for the love and support liv. I'm always on the lookout for cravings. Al can be sneaky to be sure. To be honest though I really wasn't all that impressed with my little reunion with Al the other day. At present I'm not only devoid of any cravings, I get that mild gagging feeling in the back of my throat when I think about drinking. I don't think I'll be posting weekly accounts of drinking then going af again. Thats jsut too damn often. Originally I thought I might go out for drinks a couple times in the coming weeks and see whats happening. Now I'm even wondering if I'll be up for drinks at that wedding in a few weeks. I might make a pretty lame modder.

                          I'm still open to the thought of drinking though, I'll do it if I decide I want to, Keeping in mind of course that al will want to re-establish control. I got Kudzu on hand and if I get carried away again I'll have to stop for good. To be honest though those beers I had the other day did plenty to kill any thoughts about drinking in the near future. I'm telling my freinds, co workers etc that I had a few beers the other day. They ask how it was. I say crappy. "I drank 4 beers and got a hangover" I tell them. One of them said "Wow dude you shouldn't get that off 4 beers, somethings wrong with that" "Yeah it fuckin SUCKED, thats whats wrong with it" I say. Anyway, I tell everyone I'm going back to not drinking for awhile cause hangovers suck in such a profound way. They all seem to think thats cool. And you know..it IS cool. Don't want a drink cause I don't want one. Of course if I want one I'll have it, so I'm not like Mr. reccovering alcoholic or anything. Hope I get to stay like this. I think I will but dammit I slipped up once before, I'm best off not forgetting that.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Trying my luck

                            Hi Believe,
                            I am so hoping that I can post like you in a few months time. Not to care about AL much but also to be afraid of it too. I would love to be able to take it or leave it and it sounds like you are well able to leave it. You are also wisely wary though too.
                            Well done - sounds like you don't have a worry about that wedding - just see how you feel nearer the time - wow, I would love to be at that stage.
                            :h
                            bandit
                            There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Trying my luck

                              Thank Bandit I think if you stay af for awhile you'll find yourself in a great position to decide how to handle al going foward. You can definatley get where you need to be, just hang in there!

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