It wasn't our regular vet who recomends staying as long as you can to say goodbye to your pet. This vet was the surgeon, who has performed miracles on our Gordon Setter when he was hit by a car, but somehow rushed me. He put in the woozy needle which had worked so well the week before on our husky, but little Beastie threw an adrenalin surge and I had to wrestle her to keep her on the bed and then he shaved her leg and put in the final needle, it was too fast, too soon. I wanted to explain to her that I hadn't betrayed her, I just wanted to relieve her pain. I needed more time to say goodbye.
Hubby was in Minneapolis at the time and he suddenly decided he would return to "help me". Hell no, I didn't want him disrupting my grief with his constant demands and having to drive to the airport and meet his plane which he may have not gotten a connection to, and maybe not. I told him not to come back, but he changed his flights anyway and I told him to change them back, very expensive.
I cried a little, but not a lot. I so miss her. She came with me to Texas this last winter and I was with her 24/7. If I was having dinner at a restaurant with friends or my daughter, I came back to the car and her little head would be looking for me and then seeing me, her tail would go like crazy. There wasn't a drive up bank, or a drive up Starbucks that didn't point to her as that "cute little dog". She was a mutt with some pug in her and maybe corgi. She brought smiles wherever I walked her. Several times during the day she would lie on her back with paws up and tail wagging, knowing that I would rub her tummy gently and kiss her.
Today, the vet clinic called and her ashes are in and the floodgates have opened. I am crying and grieving like I didn't do in the beginning - just trying to be brave. I bought 2 beautiful wooden boxes for the ashes of our husky, Samantha who died June 13th, and now for little Beastie who died June 21st.
I know this will get better, but it hit me today.
Thanks for listening.
Hilary
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