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Do we really know who we are?

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    #1

    Do we really know who we are?

    Today was a GREAT day. My daughter came home today!!! YAY ME! We had a fantabulous day. Lunch, shopping, now home for the evening.

    Anyway, I noticed I was different today. I HATE SHOPPING, but she loves it. Usually after a few hours, I'm pretty agitated. The lines, the crowds, rude people, etc. Today, it didn't seem to bother me. The little things that would normally piss me off, didn't. Everything just was smooth sailing, and nothing getting on my nerves.

    Anyway, I'm beginning to wonder....I've been drinking since about 15, so 29 years, the last 5 pretty consistently. What if I'm not the person I thought I was? Everything I've done in my life, revolved around drinking. So in turn, the day after drinking, feeling like shit. So, my daily behavior and personality for the last 29 years was warped due to the alcohol.

    I beginning to feel like I don't know the real me, the AF me. My bad personality traits which I never associated alcohol, seem to be diminishing. God knows I'm sure I'm not the perfect person, but I'm starting to see a better side to me.

    Could this be true? All those so called quirks (another word for BITCHINESS) are not as bad as I thought they were?
    "Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
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    #2
    Do we really know who we are?

    I wondered who I "really " was when I began the quest for the AF me. Would I like me? Would I be the same? Different? In a good way or bad way? Would I like my current friends? Would they like me? What about my family?

    I am still me in the basic sense, but better. I still laugh spontaneously with the same sense of humor. I still do silly things. I still chat and kid around with total strangers without being fueled (or whatever you call it) by the effects of alcohol. I am freed of the planning involved in alcohol consumption. Freed of the deception, the shame, the guilt, .....shall I go on? I doubt there is a single person here who does not like the AF or moderating self better. As you journey there there are things that you have to deal with, but they are transitional (insomnia, detoxing effects, etc.) But the real you is there, always with you and you will love it.
    sigpic
    Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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      #3
      Do we really know who we are?

      I am so happy you had a great day! And with your daughter shopping

      AL is so horrible what is does to your mind, and to your body. It seems to suck all the goodness away. You are who you are; and what direction you choose is up to to you. I honestly think we are perfect in our own way; for us. As long as we are happy, or content with the person we are then all is good. Sure; there are people out there who do horrible things and think they are OK...but that's on a completely different Jerry Springer, Supreme Court level.

      Anyway, I am way to chatty tonight..but I do want to say "good for you!"

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        #4
        Do we really know who we are?

        I enjoy myself and my life so much better being free from AL. I see my children much happier as well. You do lose who you are in a bottle. I am a very unhappy drunk. I get extremely depressed. Without it..I am very happy the majority of the time.
        Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

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          #5
          Do we really know who we are?

          I am as well Briz...

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            #6
            Do we really know who we are?

            I'm so very happy I'm here today, AF. I new it was hurting me in most areas of life, but had no idea of some of the bonuses I wasn't expecting. When drinking, life became a chore. Everything was a pain in the ass, but picking up that bottle of wine!

            Greeneyes - I agree about the planning of alcohol consumption. Today, going to lunch, about 2pm, my first "autopilot" thought when she wanted to go to Panera Bread was, "Oh no, no wine there!" Then I remembered I'm going AF, and said "Sure!" Also, no rush to get home, or to dinner where I could drink some wine. Didn't even wonder about it. I LIKED THAT!

            Gia - It has seemed to suck the goodness away. I think it "buries" alot of who we really are.

            And yes Brittzak, usually an unhappy drunk as well. I could sometimes start out in a good mood, and drink myself right into anger and depression.

            But for today, I'm sucking every bit of happiness I can out of it!!!!

            Cheers, oops, I mean see ya!!!
            "Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

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              #7
              Do we really know who we are?

              It does bury; but it also changes you in a temporary way...you may become someone who you don't even know. In the aftermath; you are still there, and you don't bury who you are...I don't think.

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                #8
                Do we really know who we are?

                sobriety will do that to you, and good post ,ive stopped many times in 37 years of drinkin,didnt realy start drinkin lots till i was late 30 s,drank off and on,never had a problem stoppin,stayed stopped is the challenge,stil dont no if i want that,i no the people around me includin freinds,sow what a different perso i was when ididnt drink,they always pointed out my flawes,but sober i see theres,see there is lite at the end of the rainbow,hahaha good luck gyco

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