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    Is it really all me?

    Dumped by me!!! It was just a spectacularly dull and just a hormone induced rant unworthy of any sort of read!! But thanks for the support! (And if this bumps it I am really sorry! Ignore please!!!)
    :heart: c: :heart:
    "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

    #2
    Is it really all me?

    FMS,

    Since I have not been there and have not seen the interactions of people, I cannot say whether it is all you or not.

    What I can say is if it feels like it is, if you feel like you are being left out and lonely, except to clean (wtf???) and your worries and concerns about your daughter are being left to drift, then that is what it is for you.

    Sending you lots of love and hugs across the pond. :l:l:l:h

    Sending thoughts of strength for you and your daughter tomorrow. I hope she gets well quickly!!

    Love,
    Cindi

    ps, and don't do the damned dishes!! :-)
    AF April 9, 2016

    Comment


      #3
      Is it really all me?

      FMS
      I am sorry that it is so chaotic there. For an opposite perspective- I am at my house, lovely kitchen, but no one to cook for or for me. Alone and not going to make a roast dinner for one. Although silence is nice in principle- the silence is deafening and heartbreaking if it goes on too long. With the silence comes the ultimate lonliness. With your chaos comes people who care about you- maybe not in the way you want them to, but sounds like they DO care.
      Just a thought- not trying to minimize your situation but wish I could share some sunday dinner with you all.
      -Sheep

      And yes- good luck with your daughters surgery!

      EDIT
      FMS- I did not mean this post to sound insensitive - I just think sometimes the chaos sounds like it would be nice. The grass is always greener I guess..... Take care.

      Comment


        #4
        Is it really all me?

        sounds like you got your hands full have a great dinner ..
        thankx for sharing
        :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
        best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

        Comment


          #5
          Is it really all me?

          OMG, it must be a man thing! I tell my brother he has to learn to "work smarter, not harder". Hell that boy can complicate things when he is in the kitchen! And then they want a gold star cause they "helped". WTF????

          FMS, I know exactly what you mean. I often walk around this house thinking "is it just me"? Is everyone else really happy living like a frigging slob? Every time I suggest getting some help with housework, it starts a major war. And I am talking about adults here (not children).

          Hun, maybe you are sensitive today because you are worried about your daughter. Maybe hubby is too and his carnage in the kitchen is his way to keep his mind off it too. But I would suggest at dinner that you not only want help, but that you expect help cleaning up! Tell them (very sweetly) whether they think you are being over sensitive or not, you are still having a tough day and would appreciate the help.

          Deep breaths. Real deep breaths. I do hope you all enjoy your dinner.

          I hope all goes well for your daughter tomorrow too. Please keep us informed.

          Love, Me
          :l
          Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

          Comment


            #6
            Is it really all me?

            Dear FMS---

            No, it's not you--IT'S ME! I'm feeling a little stressed out myself right now! I've been eating True Calm, 5HTP and EPO and St John's wort like candy to try and stay calm! (not really)
            My moods are also closely related to the hormones, but also taking care of my son that had a tonsillectomy on Thursday, and started vomiting yesterday! Can't take his pain meds. Getting son ready for church camp, other activities I'm supposed to be in charge of. Luckily my DH stepped up to the plate today and has taken over the 4-H meeting for me. Last night it could have gotten ugly when we disagreed about what to do with my vomiting son! I was able to remind him I was doing the best I could, and that it was just going to take time, and what his mother suggested (medicine up the rectum) just wasn't a good option for a 10 year old!!

            I wish I wasn't so sensitive or easily stressed either--but not sure how to change that yet.
            At least when my hubby cooks, he cleans as he goes. (And he constantly reminds me that I should be that way also!)

            Hope your day has gotten calmer---and best wishes for your daughter. :h
            _______________
            NF since June 1, 2008
            AF since September 28, 2008
            DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
            _____________
            :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
            5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
            _______________
            The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

            Comment


              #7
              Is it really all me?

              Oh you lovely stars! We survived dinner - the cheesecake (made after the main meal was eaten and some calm reigned!) was fabulous (so proud of my son wanting to do...hidden talents at 15? Wont cook a basic meal yet of course!) and we all had a laugh -

              And I thought of how dumb my thread was/is! I am so sorry - thanks for saying it was ok to hit send though; I was really seeing the bitter end of the rope! That inner panic! My brain was about to explode. Thank you for understanding and taking the time to reply.... OK it wasn't a drink but I haven't taken half a Valium (2.5mg) in yonks (didn't seem to any more than 'good thinking' actually after all!) and was p'd at the situation and myself for feeling it 'had to be me' that squashed myself down to save the situation - but, yes, isn't that just how family life sometimes is....but a habit I perhaps need to look at?

              And, Sheep, oh, I have so been there and feel, well, so rotten for banging on.....that quiet you speak of can be quite deafening and I am indeed really blessed...yes, there was caring around as well - it just got a bit buried for a moment - because I stopped seeing it even though it was in front of my eyes..... It would be lovely to welcome you to our table.....thank you for giving my mind a little (much appreciated) nudge.

              I dunno - I guess I still over-react to family atmospheres - too much in my growing up which, as an olny child, was the loneliness I spoke of.... But, another thing clarified and I shall go on improving in my 'coping skills'.....hey, less than a couple of years ago I would have drunk myself stupid on a night like this one!!

              BUT!! Heck, LVT........ Oh! It is a tonsillectomy my daughter is having - at 20......... And I am completely phobic about people vomiting.... She mentioned it off a web-site this evening and now.....so is it likely? (Your poor son btw! I do hope he recovers soon and can find pain meds that he can keep down..... Is it the meds that is causing the vomiting or the scabbing in the throat that my D says causes it?) Any advice or anything greatly appreciated..... (Not tooooo many scare stories though, please!!!)

              Well, I just hope the receeding moon, big hormone patch and deep, deep breaths will keep me calm for my daughter.... I know life goes up and down but a few days of feeling really grounded and loving like last week would be appreciated rather than working for it, allowing it and all that, and it not clicking at all! Hey Ho!!

              Will keep you posted on daughter...thank you.....might need a bit of support if this vomiting bit rears its head..... I so want to be there 100%for her and not a gibbering wreck in the corner - she knows about my fears and wont want to worry me....when that shouldn't be something she should be worrying about jsut then. Sigh!

              All will be well.....I shall (attempt to!) live in the moment. And think of you guys!!!!

              Love FMS xxx
              :heart: c: :heart:
              "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

              Comment

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