Suicide mission

[ready2change]

Suicide mission

Keeta, I can almost promise you that if you find some way to be AF you will feel SOOOOO much better!! Alcohol is a depressant, we all know that and that is what it is doing to you. Being sober will enable you to see things so much clearer, I know it does for me.

Why not try this and see if it works? I know you posted before that you have anxiety issues. Have you been able to get these under control? When I drink, I hate, loathe and am disgusted at myself. Most times I just wish I were dead. When I'm AF, I have energy and I enjoy life (mostly). You have got to see what being AF feels like to really appreciate it. As Cindi said, even baby steps are better than none, although that wouldn't work for me, as I only drink to get drunk.. so for me, I need to stay away from AL. Major hugs to you..I know you have alot on your plate right now.

[keeta]

Suicide mission

Step 1, I will not drink TODAY. Just today.

It really scares me to feel this out of control...right to the bone, scares me.

Thank you all for caring, and for your replies. Some really good ideas and advice I will try to impliment.
Lists and little steps. For good measure, greenbean, I will borrow your big girl pants. I am sort of having a little cry at the moment, so having a hard time replying properly, so will leave it at my deep gratitude for you all, and go read, and try to gather my wits.

This is NOT the person I want to be.

[KateH1]

Suicide mission

Hi Keeta,
Congratualtions on step one! Today, you will not drink! With this step, you are guaranteed to feel a bit better tomorrow. With each AF day we do get stronger, less depressed and more clear. We also begin to see opportunities and solutions that were not visible to us before while we were drinking.

Keeta, when I was still drinking, I was so sad and hopeless. I can so relate to how you are feeling right now. The more AF days I put behind me, the better I began to feel about myself, my life and my future. You CAN do this! You are a very resourceful woman........just take one step at a time!

Best Wishes,
Kate

[mwo2]

Suicide mission

Keeta, Your avatar is a hand being held out for someone to take. Well here you have that, we will all hold your hand while you get yourself af so you can breathe. Life can get better and you can make it happen.

[88Katie88]

Suicide mission

cant stand it no more--i feel like ready2 did, really loathe me, feel i'm in a deep pit, struggling to crawl out, just keep slipping further down, where do i start?!!

[Heavenly]

Suicide mission

hi i posted this link in long term abstainers but it might be of some use to others too

Relapse Prevention- Dangerous Symptoms and Signs of Drug and Alcohol Addiction Relapse Warning List

[SKendall]

Suicide mission

Keeta, know you are loved and appreciated. I can't add anything to what others have said although I think you need to take some action and move forward. Just a baby step then another.:l

[dexterhead]

Suicide mission

Hi Keeta. I am sorry you are feeling so low. I'm not far from that place myself. Do you take any meds for depression and/or anxiety? I don't remember whether you have said. AntiD's help me a lot. In any case, you are very loved here. :l:l:h And the Travolta cat is dancing for you

[ready2change]

Suicide mission

88Katie88

cant stand it no more--i feel like ready2 did, really loathe me, feel i'm in a deep pit, struggling to crawl out, just keep slipping further down, where do i start?!!

I'm so sorry your feeling so low. I know for I have been there MANY times. I am telling you from the bottom of my heart, feeling what it is like to be alcohol free is the only way to compare the feeling of being trapped by alcohol. You may slip and fall many times (I have) but you will begin to appreciate that YOU are worth so much more than drinking. I'm still on a learning curve...heaven know's why...but I feel like I am finally starting to "GET" it. You, we can do this. Start with one day AF and work your way up...I promise it will feel better.

R2C