I'm still here!

[Nakeeta]

I drank since Friday, called people on the phone. Now I feel like I cant stand myself. I've been crying and worried about going back to work on Tuesday. I cant seem to stop my mind. Looked on my phone seen I called my boss, have no idea what I said. My husband says he still loves and wants to be with me and will support me. He says he knows I can do this but I've tried so many times and I always fail. I did drink a few this morning just to stop shaking and got on here a chatted with really good people. I planned on drinking the whole day just so I didn't have to feel the way I do now. But, I didn't. I need to be here with all of you. I'm very thankful for everyone here. I'm just very scared inside now and feeling very unsure. Thanks for listening.

[bestlifeldms]

I'm still here!

Wow! That took courage! Good for you. Your husband sounds wonderful. Give him a big hug! You can do this. Just keep your goals within reach. Don't think about "The rest of your life". Just think about right now. Today. Tomorrow morning you will feel better than you felt this morning. Take good care of yourself. Pamper yourself. It's a good idea to write all your feelings down, right now. Put on paper exactly how crappy you feel, both physically and emotionally. And write down your fears. After we begin to feel better, we start to think we can drink. Go back and read all of this. It will help you to stay on track. This is admirable. So glad you are here with us!

Big hugs, Best

[KateH1]

I'm still here!

Hi Nakeeta,
The good news is, no matter what, you have your husbands love a support! That in and of itself is a huge blessing.

I am so happy that you are not still drinking today. Honestly, it will not help to continue drinking and go to work hung over tomorrow! Or,worse yet, call in sick!

Nakeeta, I too have done the drunk dialing thing, and worse yet, the drunk emailing.....arghhhh! So, I know how you feel, right now. But, I am still here and really thriving and you will be too! I really love not having to apologize for drunken rants any more!

Best is so right about the fact that when we start feeling better AF and life starts to really be working for us, we do get the feeling that we are OK and we can drink. Rarely is our intention to get drunk, let alone crazy drunk! Alcohol is so tricky!

Nakeeta, you will get through this...and you will have learned another lesson.....gosh, my lesson binder is full and stuck away for now! I hope it stays stuck away forever!

Hang in there, wishing you the best!
Kate

[Guest]

I'm still here!

I've done that so many times as well; checking the redial list to see who I called and who I received calls from. It really is a horrible feeling..I truly feel your pain.

I'm happy you're husband is behind you. And he will not understand completely, as he does not have this problem...but as long as he is onboard with you, it will work out.

It's really great you didn't drink today, Kate is completely right, you would not want to go into work like that, or worse, call in sick.

We are all here for support.

[AAthlete]

I'm still here!

Nakeeta, I know that you are here right now for you and that you are scared and unsure right now, but I wanted to say a big thank you for helping me out today. I say that because when I read your post I had a flashback to the last day that I missed work because of a hang-over, and I remember that I send an email to my boss:

"I was at the doctor's on Wednesday and was prescribed a new medication. I was told at the time that there would be the potential for adverse reactions - which I seem to be having. I have another appointment scheduled for this morning to hopefully try something different - but wanted to give you an update and apologize for any inconvenience"

It was total bullshit - I felt so bad that I almost went to the hospital several times and I knew I would need another day to recover - but reading your words took me back there, made me re-live my physical and mental pain, and reminded me how precious my 13 months of sobriety truly is.

I know how you are feeling, and there is hope but you have to work for it. Having someone by your side is a huge first step, and know that we are all here for you as well. Remember to take it one day at a time, and I'll send good thoughts your way...

[Nakeeta]

I'm still here!

Thank you everyone for all the encouragement. I'm still feeling very sick inside and worried. I did write down how I feel today. I do start feeling better and think one drink wont hurt but I cant just have one. I drink till I pass out. I feel like a child today needing to be taken care of and I hate feeling this way. It's hard just to get myself up and around to look half way decent for when my husband comes home. Once again Thank you all for listening to me, I really needed all of you today and from this day forward.

[Dolly Sunshine]

I'm still here!

Hi,
The morning after is a God awful feeling that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I truly wouldn't. The things I have said on the phone and typed are aweful. But you can and will get past this. Life is so much better AL free. Take care

[Guest]

I'm still here!

We will all be here for you...no worries there; whether you need a helping hand, a shoulder to rely on, someone to vent to, or even if you need a kick in the ass. You'll find all the support.

[Nakeeta]

I'm still here!

Starting over really sucks but "One" day AF is better than nothing. I hope to sleep better tonight and my mood wont be so crappy. I know it will just take some time. I'm feeling lots better than yesterday,that's for sure. Thanks to every one here.