Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

[Amethyst26]

For many years I have asked myself if I am truly an alcoholic. Or am I just plain bored and unhappy with my life. I never drink during the day and have about 3 glasses of wine most nights before bed to "unwind" I am an RN and make a pretty decent living at that. I have a 12 year old daughter whom I love dearly and have been divorced for almost 11 years. I live in the suburbs surrounded mostly by people with a family and 2.2 kids and a dog. I love my patients...,but I also find that I have a lot of pent up creative energy which I misuse by ingesting alcohol in the evenings. I love to write. am a frustrated writer at that. I wish for a man but haven't found the write one...I guess these are all excuses but I keep thinking if I had a different kind of life...traveled more, maybe move to a more metropolitan area that I would have more of a social life and not spend my life cooped up at home eating and drinking. I don't know All i know is I am in a rut that I desperately want to get out of. I have been on and off many antidepressants but I find I mostly feel alive when I am either traveling, in a relationship, planning a move or just exercising which I do daily. I know there is no set answer to my dilema but maybe someone out there can relate to my plight. I feel like a 25 yr old trapped in a 34 yr old body. Bored with my life...yet not having the umph to get out there and do whatever it is I am really passionate about. Any suggestions?

I feel very alone

A

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Hmmmm

This makes me think of a question my therapist asked me, and that was "How do you feel when your husband is out of town?" My answer was "More relaxed and peaceful, not happier, and a little bit bored." I stayed with him when most women probably would have left due to his insane antics and often times, especially in the early years, cruel and abusive behaviour. I struggle with the good and the bad of my decision and I guess the same goes for each and every individual.

I suggest you take a course in writing, get going girl!

I'll be thinking of you

[KateH1]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

You know Amathyst, I think a lot of us have wondered about this? I think you are the only one that can answer that question for yourself. I think I would try 30 days AF and see how that works. I know that my drinking escalated to a bottle of wine a night, a lot because of habit, a bad habit and then some where along the way, I go quite dependent! I am so happy to have been sober for almost 7 months! I had no idea how bad I really felt every day!

I love My Hearts idea of a creative writing class! That would get your creative juices going!

Best Wishes,
xxKate

[jessie]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Hi Amethyst,
First, what is a RN? I'd like to know. Second, your question is very interesting and relevant and you manage to put into words something I have always had vague suspicions about. The writing course seems a very good start for you. I think that boredom ( and depression)definitely had a lot to do with my drinking, especially in the early days. That lead first to psychological dependence and then to physical dependence as well. It is going to take an effort to drag yourself out of the rut - but you are so young and it will be so worth it! Many others have posted about the neccesity to have a plan - your plan should include a writing course as well as some club where you can socialize.
My very best wishes to you.

[Amethyst26]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Thanks 4 ur replies

I guess u are right. Have spent yrs looking 4 excuses not to take a writing class. But going AF would help clear that. it is just hard. Alcohol becomes a friend...but it is really a thief who robs us of who we truly are.
who would I be without Alcohol? I guess there is only way to find out and that is the true challenge. I hope I can be brave enuf to face it...after all...it is my life....


A:thanks:

[jinja]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Oh yes. I can totally relate to this too. My AF evenings are restless and fidgety, not so much for the AL - after I've made my decision I feel quite at peace about it. Just bored? I know, I know - only boring people are bored.

I love to paint, oils mostly. During the day i'm busy with 'life' and all that entails, the evenings are filled with kids and then I am knackered & uninspired. Lighting is too bad to paint at night - I have tried and have had to re-do so much work, it's just not worth it.

Can really relate!! Good luck to you.

Take care
xxx

[A Work in Progress]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Amethyst, I have often thought that the struggle we go through in trying to decide if we are really "alcoholic," or really "addicted" to, or "dependent" on alcohol, is a waste of time. There are a lot of different definitions, meanings, diagnostic criteria in flux, differences of opinion, etc. about what these terms "really mean." And it is beside the point. The point is this, for me: what happens when I drink? And the answer is this: I feel better for a little while, on a daily basis, while the rest of my life crashes around me... and I feel like crap a whole lot of the time. So the only answer for me is this: it doesn't matter what I call it. I just know that drinking screws up my life. So I have to do something about it...

Best wishes!

[Bandit]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Hi Amethyst,

I can really relate to your post.

I think I am one of those people you refer to in your neighbourhood - I am 38, have a husband, 2.2. kids and a dog (plus 5 cats) and live in the suburbs - but I still feel very much like you.

I am self-employed as a psychologist (consultant) and can make a good living at that when I put my mind to it although I do not take on much work at present due to looking after my two small children (age 3 and 5). I generally only drank in the evenings too - after the kids had gone to bed and after all the daily chores were done - but it became a nightly habit - just sitting watching TV or a film or something and so it has gone on like this for years and years.

I feel so in a rut, have no passion for anything, except when planning a holiday or trip!. I too love to travel but with limited finances and kids having to follow the school calender that is not really possible. I also like to write and would love to finish one of my stories but the only time I have is night time and by then I am just so tired.

I am not sure what the solution is but I think that drink has zapped any energy and passion I have and if I can just give it up for awhile I hope I will find the energy to try other things -writing etc. and maybe by saving some money we might be able to go on more weekend trips etc. I spent 6 months in Portugal last year and loved it so we are all trying to learn the language and I am saving to spend a few weeks there next year, hopefully to buy somewhere there eventually.

Writing is a good idea - please let us be the first to read your best seller!
:h
Bandit

[Sunbeam]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

It recently occurred to me that having a long AF stint (at least 30 days) does more than rid our bodies of toxins. It also enables us to develop new interests. I am analyzing this because I drank more than I wanted to yesterday. I had hoped to do some things outdoors - what I love best - but it rained hard all day. I read for awhile, but then drank partly because I was bored. I think I don't have enough indoor interests for the summer. I did a small cleaning project, but I should have taken out the gardening magazines in the cupboard.

I also like to write, and already have the opportunity to write for a local gardening publication. I should have written up my recent quest for the purpose of identifying and controlling a garden pest called the four line bug. I could have also worked on some gardening presentations I have coming up. But sometimes I don't have the energy for harder tasks like this, so then I am more likely to drink.

[TiredofHiding]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

What an interesting thread. I find evenings boring quite often too. I think I watch more tv than I should because of that. When my daughter was younger, we were very careful with keeping to a regular bedtime routine and schedule and I think now it is ingrained not to do anything outside of the house in the evenings. She's 9 now and going shopping or to an early movie would be fine - we just dont' think of it.

I will say we put in a pool this year and our evening routine has shifted to our backyard a lot more. It has been great for family time and we've had alot more laughter than in the past. It's miserably hot but the water feels great. It's also good exercise. I drank one evening last week and felt nasty - and a little paranoid being in the pool - afraid for everyone's safety. I thought about it the next day - I prefer to be clear eyed and make my daughter laugh when I fall off the floating ring than sit dazed on the side of the pool.

I know once it cools down I need to find something to do in the evenings besides watchign tv or reading. Boredom is a terrible thing and leads to opening the bottle just to make the night past faster.

On another note, a friend and i were talking about divorces when the kids leave home - how often you see that because once the kids are gone the parents have no interests together or don't know what to do with themselves so they look for other adventures. I think its important as women that we find some passions to persue outside of our children and families. It makes us more interesting and contented in whatever our situation.

Enough -- - I better get ready for work!

[Amethyst26]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Hi Jessie, An RN is a registered nurse. I visit patients in their homes and have plenty of free time. Esp. now in the summer that my daughter is out of school and spending some time with my mom at her beach cin my condo. But what really bugs me is I am my own worse enemy. Instead of doing more productive things with my time, I stay up late drinking and then feel like crap the next day and am just barely able to function to do the basics (my job) I have lost all desire to organize my clothes and a lot of it is sitting in a heap on a couch in my bedroom. I know a lot of this sounds like whiny, complaining depression. But I also sabotage any good effect my antidepressant might be giving with my nightly wine drinking. I am just hoping for that magic button to click in my brain and I can get motivated again. It used to happen this way in my late 20's. But I guess after life kicks u in the ass enough times you have to learn to motivate yourself instead of waiting for a magic pill, relationship, trip, experience etc. Thank you all. I feel like I have made some real friends here!

A

[Amethyst26]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

My last post seems to have a typo on the bottom. Sorry...must be a fragment from someother sentence I started??? I don't know where it came from. Please disregard it

Thanks

A

PS: Anyway...I guess it should say No alcohol...lol

THANKS MY HEART...I EDITED IT

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Just click the edit button Amie ; )

[keke]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Burb Mom,

Hi Amethyst, I too am one of the burb families you talk about. However, even when I was a single mom, married before, and single w/o children, I always thought that if my life got better and more interesting I wouldn't drink as much. Guess what? I have a wonderful (yet sometimes boring) life and I still drink too much wine because that shut off valve doesn't work. In our society we've become so accustomed to drinking during social occasions that it's hard to imagine not doing so. I'm lonely because wine has become my closest "friend" and it's a very parasitic relationship. I've been giving it my full attention and all it gives me in return is a headache, fatigue, extra weight, depression, brain damage, etc,. I'm on day 10 AF and am using this sight for companionship - these people are much more nicer too me than the wine ever was. So far the supps, cds, and topa is working and I do hope to moderate sometime in the future cuz of that social thing. I have found that reading at night to be better than watching TV because you (at least I) can't drink and read at the same time. It may also inspire you to write. I like the idea of a class - signed up for a few myself just to have something to look forward too. You seem like you have a lot to offer this world so I hope to read more of your posts. keek

[Mickey16]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Hi .. I'm a bit like you in that I've got a great family, a great career ... and yet there is an emptiness which I fulfill with drinking. I recently started a painting class which is giving me great fulfilment and have recently started - now don't freak out - having out-of-body and lucid dreaming experiences which is providing me with some great material for my paintings, OR for a book. I am hoping to channel my interest into painting or writing as an escape from drinking. But I am nowhere near to that point. I encourage you to keep noticing, keep exploring and keep sharing with others. I am very new to this site and so I hope I can contribute at least some encouragement to you. xx Mickey16