Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

[LooneyLola]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Just to throw it out there - what do you do when you live with someone that loves to drink as much as you do?

[LooneyLola]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

We can not be each other's anchor as much as we'd like each us to be... So do we sink or swim with each other?

[Bandit]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Hi Looney,

My husband likes to drink as much as I do except that his posion is generally beer and mine is wine which of course is a lot stronger. The only way I am able to have AF days is when he is doing it too. It got to a stage where it was sink or swim and we have decided to try and swim!
Good luck
:h
Bandit

[A Work in Progress]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Looney, I'd say that you will have to take a good look at how much the alcohol is harming your own life, wellness, functioning, etc. When I was living with a partner who was drinking (much more heavily than I was) I realized that the drinking was just way too harmful for me, and that the relationship was pretty sick, because of the alcohol. So I decided that I would quit, first, because I am the only one I have any influence over... Eventually, my partner "quit," too... but really this was just a matter of hiding bottles and lying. And finally, we split up. But it did not have to be that way.

That was years ago... I hear now that my ex-partner is sober, and doing well in an other city. But it was a difficult journey, getting there, for both of us. And, for whatever reason, we could not do it together.

I am not telling this story to discourage you... but rather to take a good look at whether the alcohol is harming you, and how much, and also how much it is harming your marriage. And then making decisions, based on that. You said it feels like "sink, or swim, together..." That business of "sinking" together gets very, very ugly. And the choices you are presented with are very, very difficult.

Best wishes.

[Amethyst26]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

keke;368966 wrote: Hi Amethyst, I too am one of the burb families you talk about. However, even when I was a single mom, married before, and single w/o children, I always thought that if my life got better and more interesting I wouldn't drink as much. Guess what? I have a wonderful (yet sometimes boring) life and I still drink too much wine because that shut off valve doesn't work. In our society we've become so accustomed to drinking during social occasions that it's hard to imagine not doing so. I'm lonely because wine has become my closest "friend" and it's a very parasitic relationship. I've been giving it my full attention and all it gives me in return is a headache, fatigue, extra weight, depression, brain damage, etc,. I'm on day 10 AF and am using this sight for companionship - these people are much more nicer too me than the wine ever was. So far the supps, cds, and topa is working and I do hope to moderate sometime in the future cuz of that social thing. I have found that reading at night to be better than watching TV because you (at least I) can't drink and read at the same time. It may also inspire you to write. I like the idea of a class - signed up for a few myself just to have something to look forward too. You seem like you have a lot to offer this world so I hope to read more of your posts. keek

Thank you ! Your post really inspired me. I guess once the grip of alcohol takes us over we forget how much we do have to offer. And you're right about the situations. You keep waiting for that magic time when you won't want to drink becuase life is better. I just have to get commited to stopping the drinking. This past week has been hell. Bottle of wine every night, staying up late, waking up late (my daughter was away at the beach with my mom for summer vacation this week) Am behind on my work and just hating myself. Yet it's like once the night comes...I don't care and want that damn wine! I am going to try to use this site and my new friends here to help me stay AF this week. I really need to make a change! I always say this but this time I mean it. I wish I could moderate but one glass always leads to 4 or 5. I tired Topamax years ago for other reasons and did not tolerate it. Campral does nothing for me. L-Glutamine has helped me. it cuts cravings and makes the wine taste like s---. So I avoid it. But it may be my only hope for now. Thanks for all your replies Will keep you posted

A
:thanks:

[vera-b]

Alcoholic or Boredaholic?

Hi Amethyst,

You've hit a nerve. Boredom + wine=misery and more wine. Damn downward spiral. But keek was dead on and you're right to get yourself back on the program. Whatever works - supps, meds, cd's, coming here! - should be task #1. Once sober, the energy to at least try a few things comes forth. I'm just a TAD older than you, and have found some new computer skills since landing here. Geez, you'd have thought I invented the internet when I learned how to put that pretty picture next to my name! And one last thing - the next 10 years with your daughter can be filled with great highs and lows (my girls are in their 20's). You don't want to drink through them - trust me on this. Take care--

v.