Everything is harder.

[Waves 2]

Why is everything getting harder now?

My mum died 3 months ago and I had to be so strong for others in my family. Now I feel like I am not coping. I am on a break from work ( holidaytime) and tears are suddenly appearing all the time. I feel down. I miss just sharing little everyday stories. My drinking has escalated to the point where I feel I need to go AF ( after 2 years of reasonable success in modding).

[tawnyfrog]

Everything is harder.

Oh Waves ... hang on in there.

It will be o.k.

I'll try to take some pics for you. You are an amazing woman.

[gyco]

Everything is harder.

hi waves,a parent is tuff to lose,i lost mine quite young,but on another note i got lucky with my inlaws,they were great parents ,my father in law died 2 years ago this fall and beleive it or not i miss him and his wisdom,lucky me 2 sets of parents,my motherinlaw is in a home and really doesnt no whats goin on,but then im not a doctor,and even then,they dont no whats goin on, at times,as far as the drinkin its part of life,exceptable until it gets out of hand,get back to yur modding or stop and have a goal,you can do it ,the strength is there gyco

[jinja]

Everything is harder.

Hi Waves - sorry to hear that you are feeling so emotionally drained. I haven't lost parents so I don't truly know what you are going through. I only hope that you can find some peace!

Regarding the tearfulness, do you think that taking a natural supplement or homeopathic remedy might help you get through this? Maybe even Bach flower remedy - rescue - which is for shock, but can also take the edge off feeling totally overwhelmed.

I do understand the solace and relief that you feel when drinking, but it is a depressant on top your already frazzled emotions. Be gentle with yourself over this time, but also hold fast to what you know is good for you! If a period AF will help you regain control then I absolutely agree that you should do this!!

Take care & :l
xxx

[greeneyes]

Everything is harder.

Waves, I did the same thing. It took me about a year to get through the stages of loss. It's not as hard if you let yourself experience the stages and bend with them like a wildflower in the wind. You are going to experience them one way or another so allow them to happen so that you may heal. I believe it would have been easier if I had consumed much less alcohol. Hang in there :l

[ducky]

Everything is harder.

Waves,

Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I lost both parents within a few months two years ago. It is so hard. You said you had to be so strong for your family. Can you gather any strength from them, or from friends?

Hang in there. You have lots of support here too.:h

[bestlifeldms]

Everything is harder.

Oh Waves,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember that loosing my Mom was one of the two hardest times in my life and its' devestation stayed with me for years. At the time I was in the middle of a 5 year AF period of my life. I can't imagine how much worse it would have been, had I been drinking, since alcohol has such a depressive effect on me. It seems that the very times when we should reduce, in order to handle stressful situations, we increase our alcohol consumption, thinking it will help. At least I did. It only made things worse for me.

I so hope that things will calm down for you and that you will get relief from your pain. Sending you love and support.

Best

[LVT25]

Everything is harder.

Hi Waves,

Like Ducky I lost my parents and my FIL within months of each other a couple of years ago. At first I thought about it all the time, and then a little less and now it just hits me once in awhile out of the blue and I start crying because I miss them so much! I just try to remain grateful that I had them in my life and look forward to seeing them again soon.

I agree, it might be time for another af period.

Hang in there! :h

[brittzak]

Everything is harder.

Wave you must have lost your Mom about the time I lost mine. When I lost my fiance in 2006 I DROWN myself in a bottle. I drink 24/7 trying to rid myself of the pain. Of course, what I later realized when I sobbered up he was still gone and I had prolonged my grief. It was like he had just died and it had actually already been a year. I just realized the other day how much I REALLY MISS my Mom. Something funny happened and I wanted to call and tell her. I still have not turned off her cell phone so that I can hear her voice from time to time. I am letting myself grieve this time though. If you feel sad cry...it is ok. The pain does become more livable. Much love to you...

[Guest]

Everything is harder.

I can't imagine the pain you are going through losing a parent. My mother and I don't always get along and we argue a lot, but I could not imagine losing her. I still grieve a tremendous amount for my Nana, looking at her picture still brings tears to my eyes. She always made everything good, it was always better with her around; and it's just not the same without her. My heart goes out to you, cry if you feel you need to, it's a good release and it will help. We are all here for you.

[Guest]

Everything is harder.

Brittzak - You know I love yah. I would do the same thing. Big hugs for you.

[lushy]

Everything is harder.

Waves, I am so sorry for your pain. Unfortunately this is the ebb and flow of the grieving process. My mom died three years ago and as of late I have been very weepy about her after having gone quite a few months being okay. We have to allow ourselves to grieve no matter what form it takes. The drinking certainly does not help though. I wish I could give you a hug.

[Captnjack]

Everything is harder.

Lost me da months ago i think confused still cant accept it dont drink doesn't help

[keke]

Everything is harder.

Waves, sorry for your loss. I think that the more we try to drown the pain with the alcohol the longer it stays. Kinda like pickling. Grief needs to be felt in order to fade (At least this is my opinion). I would think that your mother would want you to be at peace. I'm with you on the AF stint. We'll be here when you need a good cry. keek Smiles to all our loved ones who continue to guide us!

[SKendall]

Everything is harder.

Hi Waves, when my mother died I thought I was coping well too then after 3 or 4 months experienced the same tears as you. I went to the doctor and he said if I didn't feel better by the 9 month mark to see someone. Do you have grievance counseling in your area? It's a good place to start.

I'm sorry for your loss.