Day 6...can you believe....

[Captnjack]

Day 6...can you believe....

I can believe it Keete's waiting for the post when you say 2 years can you believe it LOL. Im sorry hubby is breaking your heart at the moment its not your fault we men "just don't get it" sometimes we seem to trash the things that love us the most .....work that one out!!!!!!. Keeta i'm sure he loves you. Big hugs from me keep denying the booze I'm sure HE is circling like a shark waiting for you to give in stay strong!!!!! any approach KICK him in the balls that will do it !!!!!.
Love always Cap

[cmhguy3]

Day 6...can you believe....

Keeta, I am also proud of you. Work on yourself first and foremost. One day at a time right?

[gyco]

Day 6...can you believe....

this is the 1st time ive been stuck,YOU stopped because,yYOU didnt like YOUR drinkin and wha it did to YOU, everything YOU do,YOU have to be content with,YOU acknowlrdge YOU have a problem with the amount YOU drink,YOU should be mighty proud of what ,again, YOU have done to help yourself,great job gyco

[gyco]

Day 6...can you believe....

gees isnt this place great you can come here and people actually listen hahahha i think

[Determinator]

Day 6...can you believe....

drinking makes us selfish and act in ways not becoming of our character. it's one of the reasons we are here to rid ourselves of this burden.

Keep up the great work Keeta!!

[keeta]

Day 6...can you believe....

DAY 8.....WOW

Waves, as soon as I read your second post about chat, I went directly there, and there are three people I chatted to, that really talked me through some rough patches, a wise tawnyfrog, Hopeful, and ziggy...you all helped me have a laugh, and keep focused, and I owe you all one! THANKS!

cindi, thank you! I am even a little impressed, I didn't know I had it in me, to be honest. But it is damn hard. He didn't come home until 2am...at 11:30pm that night (my time) I told the ladies in chat I was going to bed....well, I did, but I tossed and turned, and cried, and got angry...until he made it home.
Then I told him (ok, I admit, I yelled a bit) how much his actions hurt me, and how I wished he came home with me, then finially went to sleep.

one2....I am still angry, to be honest, but it is fading. But if I turned it around, how many times has he hated what I have done while drinking, or wished I would quit drinking? Probably TONS. I can't let my hurt or anger, or fear, or insecure thoughts "that he doesn't love me enough to help me" make me drink. I can't let ANYTHING make me drink. I don't know if I would be strong enough to try "AGAIN".
I still can't believe I am on day eight...8...yep 8.....I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop....

cmhguy....thank you for saying that....some times I am really proud of me too, and sometimes I am just trying so hard not to drink, I forget how well I am doing, if that makes any sense. One day at a time...TODAY I WILL NOT DRINK.

Gyco....thank you....some times it is hard to stay focused on my number one priority of not drinking, when one, hubby my drinking "buddy" IS drinking...and two, then he chose partying over me, so then it became a relationship issue...blah...but you are right, and I am proud of myself. YES, I love this place...

I couldn't get online yesterday, something was wrong with my internet (think my modem has just about had it)...and yesterday was hard...SO hard. Every few minutes I was tring for over an hour...crying...it SUCKED. LOL

Determinator....yes, AL is a soul stealing asshole...and I am glad I am working to keep him from ME. I am trying, Det...really really trying.

So, yesterday, despite being angry/hurt, and mostly disappointed, I woke up and made BBQ chicken and potatoe salad, for a picnic at the river with hubby and kids. I packed a cooler with AF beer, because I knew I would want to drink...and it really helped. I didn't care for the taste much (drinking for me stopped being about the taste a long time ago and became all about the...well...drunk) but it worked to stop my head from screaming BEER, BEER, BEER, and allow me to enjoy the beauty of where we live, and the kids having a blast.

So, on to day 8.....Mr Toad's Wild Ride has NOTHING on trying to get sober...This IS an E ticket ride.

[Doggygirl]

Day 6...can you believe....

Keeta, congratulations on Day 8!!! And especially for working through the issues over the weekend. Deter is right - AL makes us selfish. I have nothing to add to the great advice already offered - just YOU GO GIRL!!!! :cheering: :cheering: Whatever happens in the future, I know you will be glad you are not drinking any more.

DG
Day 68 AF (if I can, WE CAN!!)

[keke]

Day 6...can you believe....

Ok Keeta, You say he has a bit of a problem too. If so, then cutting down to a couple a night in front of you might be the best he can do right now. You are doing your best which by they way is very commendable considering the situation (this hubby doesn't drink much, so It's easier for me this time). The way I see it is that going to a party gave him an excuse to drink more and he was probably fighting the cravings and that nasty hold that al has on us. In an ideal world, he should have gone home with you. You are only responsible for your own actions, not his. Unfortunately, sometimes our spouses see us trying to better ourselves and it makes them feel insecure. Again, we our only responsible for ourselves and how we choose to react. Getting angry is ok. Drinking to suppress that emotion would not be in your best interest. Congrats on Day 8. Day 12 for me and I did want to drink last night, but didn't. Will be thinking of you. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of all the drama that alcohol seems to fuel. I wish you serenity. Keep up the good work!!! Keek

[Larisa]

Day 6...can you believe....

You're amazing, keeta. I could NEVER have gotten that many days with someone drinking in the house!!

[ready2change]

Day 6...can you believe....

Keeta... HUGE CONGRATS ON 8 DAYS!!! YOU ROCK!! My take on the hubby situation. My hubby is also my drinking buddy. We both are problem drinkers. I have had alot of AF days since joining this website last July. He has had some as well.

However, he has heard me declare that I'm sick of drinking, never gonna drink again...let's quit together, blah, blah...so MANY times that it has probably become a joke to him. If I can't even fool myself, how am I gonna fool him? What I'm trying to say is, possibly your hubby has heard you say you were going to quit so many times before, only to return to the drink, perhaps he has trouble believing it?

I feel this is true with my husband...if I can stay sober long enough and prove to him that I mean it, hopefully he will come around and quit as well. The ole cry wolf syndrome. Keep up the good work, sweetie.

R2C

[tawnyfrog]

Day 6...can you believe....

Great stuff, Keeta! Bring on Day 9.

[Waves 2]

Day 6...can you believe....

Well done, Keeta. :l Just goes to show how strong you are.

[KateH1]

Day 6...can you believe....

Keeta, You have a Huge Cheering section here!!! If you can get to day 8, you can most definitely make 30 Days!!! Yes, only take on one day at a time.....but a goal is always good to keep you motivated! Each day you will learn something new and be that much stronger!!

I am so incredibly Happy for You!!
xxxKate

[keeta]

Day 6...can you believe....

Thanks to everyone!

Good morning to all!

Day 9. I love it.

one2...thanks for saying that. The picnic was a promise I made to my kids...I have let them down enough while drinking, I wasn't caving on this one, simply because hubby made a bad choice. (jerK! LOL) I was still upset, but I kept it to myself, and didn't let it ruin ANOTHER day, ya know? Thank you for your support, it helps SO much!

Doggygirl...hey! Thank you for the congratulations...all the incredible support and advice, and just being able to vent, makes this a huge part of my sobriety. You are all so awesome. You are right, in agreeing with Determinator...AL does make us selfish...and while I don't forgive him for his damn stupid choice (LOL), I know I have made poor judgement calls in the past due to AL...and so for now, I am letting it ride...if this were to go on forever...me sober, him, not...things may change...for now...I am working on my sobriety...

keke...CONGRATULATIONS on your 12 days...must be on day 13 now! WOOHOOOOO!
Great job. I can relate to wanting to drink still, I go through times, where I normally would be drinking...yard work...after grocery shopping....my day off doing house work (to name a few), and my heart races, and I become moody...and I think, holy shit, I want a drink...BUT I AM NOT GOING TO!...I acknowledge why I feel the way I do...refuse...really honestly say, no, I am not drinking, quietly to myself, and try to stay busy, or reading helps me too....until it passes. (Thank God it passes, because it is HARD)

Larisa...hey girl! I never thought I could do it either...this is kind of surprising me. MAybe it is just my time? Maybe I am ready to move forward, I hope I am, because these past few days have been so hard, I am not sure I could d o it again! LOL

ready2.....you could be very very right. I know he has told me many times he wants me to quit ...and after a particularly bad night, I have said "never again". Though I never made it more than one day! So, only time will tell. Although I have a bit of a feeling, that part of it for him may be fear...if I am not the house hold scape goat for every thing going wrong because of my drinking (which I have been for the past 7 years, my fault or not), if I am sober, the finger may have to find a new target. If you get my meaning.

Tawnyfrog...bring it on, indeed! Day 9, oh wise one!

Waves, thank you. I don't feel strong, as much as I don't want to fail...not again...my chances for making sure I don't mess up my kids too much, is running out. I want them to know there is a chance for reclaiming your life, and making amends, and healing....

Kate....I know I do...I am not sure how it happened, but I shouldn't be surprised, because this place is so great for that! I can tell you, it sure does help, it kind of makes the suffering worth while...because here, people understand that too...AND try to keep me focused, and moving forward. As for the thirty days...my goal is life....I was no longer a functioning alcoholic, I was a drunk, who moved through life, making the moves...working, raising kids, but never LIVING. I choose a sober LIFE. I hope I can do thirty days, that would be amazing. All I know is, I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY!

[magic]

Day 6...can you believe....

Keeta!!!!!!!!!!!

:wd: :wd::wd::wd:

m. xxxxxxx