Confused and need some input...

[Readyornot]

basic backround info... Went AF for three weeks. Had a major day of crap hit and stupidly turned to my evil friend, Chardonnay, for relief. Felt like crap the next day. Started over with a new attitude and hopped back on the wagon for what was to be a month long AF ride. Then, this weekend, had a bunch of friends over for a poolside BBQ and had a few glasses of wine throughout the course of the day. Didnt get hammered, felt A-OK the next day and generally enjoyed the weekend. So, my confusion is this...do I reassess my AL stance and say...okay, just a couple in social settings, no drinking during the week, alone or in an emotional crisis? Or do I commit again to trying 100% AF and see what happens? Mod? AF? ANybody been there, done that?

[Beck]

Confused and need some input...

Hi Readyornot...

You will get a lot of differing opinions on this. I would do the 30 days AF and decide if you want to mod after that. That's the MWO recommendation. It is good that you didn't overdo it with your friends but really when this happens we lose our perspective and that sounds like what has happened to you. There must be a reason you knew you should hop back on the wagon. You should trust that.
There is really no downside to going AF.

Should you decide to mod, the parameters you chose - no drinking during the week, alone, etc are good. I have been there/done that pre-MWO. Sometimes in social situations I could hold it together and feel like a normal drinker. In the long run it didn't work out for me as as I kept redefining normal/acceptable social drinking.

Good Luck

[A Work in Progress]

Confused and need some input...

Hi, Ready... yeah, I'm with Beck, but it's really just based on my own experience (well, I guess it's also based on what I have seen others go through... )

Each time that I have been through this cycle of AF (years, months), I decide to drink a little, and I do fine for a while (what we in this forum would call mods), and then get drunk occasionally but also some mods and some AF days, then it just keeps creeping up till I am drinking daily, and getting drunk nearly every time I drink. I honestly think that most people who have (or have had) a serious alcohol problem will display that same pattern... as for ME, right now, if I were to have a couple of drinks and then quit, on some fine evening, I would not regard it as a good sign or a success, but as the first step down a really nasty road.

Doesn't mean that's the way it will/would be for you... it took me too many years and way too much misery to really be convinced that this is the way it is for me.

best wishes,

wip

[AAthlete]

Confused and need some input...

Can't count the number of times that I said, "this time it will be different, I'm only going to drink when...."

After 8 years of trying that, I can honestly say that it never worked for me, but you're the ultimate judge for yourself. If you feel that you are in control when you are drinking then it may work out for you. If you never know what is going to happen then it probably isn't.

I do have a sneaking suspicion that you already know the answer if you look inside yourself and examine the motives behind your post.

Best of luck no matter what you choose!

[Readyornot]

Confused and need some input...

Poo. I DID know my own answer when I posted. I was hoping someone would refute my twisted logic. This is tough. But Im tougher. The risk does NOT outweigh the possible consequences. Back to a goal of 100% AF. Thanks. Experience IS the best teacher.:l

[Boss.man]

Confused and need some input...

I just started lurking here last week, so I'm a noob. For my own learning, I've been doing a lot of studying in the last seven days on the chemistry of alcohol metabolism. I've been writing them up with my own AF diary, but haven't posted what I've found yet.

Alcohol messes with a tons of internal chemicals. Some of them are kept in a narrow balance by a complex series of glands, organs, and chemical reactions. The primary impact of drinking appears to be blood glucose, serotonin, and adrenalin. Drinking alcohol generally raises all three, so you get energetic, happy and excited.

Unfortunately all three effects are temporary, and supplant your normal balance. So the next day your artificial "energy", "happiness" and "excitement" all crash and your natural processes are insufficient to cover the withdrawal. Day-to-day cycling from boom to bust causes long term changes to how organs, enzymes, systems, and emotions all seek to compensate for the imbalances. At that point, it takes going AF to breaks the boom/bust cycle and give your body time to recover the natural biology.

To me there is hope. The hope is that by understanding the processes, you can take supplements with a small amount of alcohol, and avoid the "bust" the next day. If you can avoid the bust, your body will stay in natural adjustment. Some vitamins, serotonin precursors, and the right diet, taken at the time of a single day drinking, may nearly eliminate the cumulative effect of that one incident.

From what I can see so far, I don't think anyone will be able to drink five days in a row and maintain fully functional systems. But I think a lot of people can drink more than occasionally, compensate a bit with some herbs and vitamins, and pretty much maintain the long-term chemistry of a non-drinker.

I'm hoping to start posting what I found in the next day or two... maybe others can comment also when I post.

[livingfree]

Confused and need some input...

Great post boss! That explains my drinking body to a T. I'm glad to read when I know is true for me also!

Ready or not - I was going to post "you already know the answer by your question" and I LOL when I read your second post!! You DID answer your own question!!

I am of the same "life" and "mind" of Beck. My story exactly. Sad to say that when we have crossed over that line -- our bodies never lose their "memory" of where to pick right back up. That damn tolerance thing rebounds and we are right back where we were -- or like me ... worse each time. I didn't fully believe this was happening to me until I started to drink in the mornings .... You get my picture.

Best to you R O N -- give the AF month a chance and then take a serious look at the facts of your own life. For me -- it's now not worth making my self the test market. No chance I want to go through the MONTHS of difficulty in stopping. Things look so much better with a clean body.

[Rags]

Confused and need some input...

Hi Ready,
Don't fool yourself like I did.
I thought I could moderate. Kept telling myself I'd be fine.
I couldn't. I wasn't.
It is up to you, and only you will know if you can discipline yourself and be totally honest with yourself.
I reckon you ought to go with your Poo post!
May you be well, may you be happy.
Fran