First apologies, I haven't been here for a while.
I joined nearly a year ago, and although my drinking is still pretty bad it is better. I put this down partly that last January an old friend came back to my town to live- we met around 25 years ago, (I was 18 or so) and haven't seen each other for about 15 years when he left here to get married.
We were just friends, he then dated a girlfriend of mine.
When he came back here (with his wife) he told me he had been dry for 2 years, (In AA) as drinking had become a horrendous problem for him, I told him I too had big issues. On his suggestion we began meeting a couple of times a week like a mini AA thing, and while I did not stop, I did cut down and looked forward to our meetings as he is really the only person I know who I can be completely honest with. I felt it was also helpful for him as he could also tell me all his stuff, without fear of judgement.
A few months ago his wife went away for a week, and during that week he began drinking again. He carried on when she returned and became very very ill. She called me and together we got him to the doctor, he was given meds, and dried out.
After that we no longer met in the same capacity for our 'meetings' but continued to see each other on occasion when and if, just as most friends too. I have truly felt grateful for his friendship, as he is the only person who I can trust to talk to about anything.
Last night he called me and said he did not want us to meet anymore- NOT AT ALL- EVER- because he would like our relationship to go further, and I do not. (Possibly because he is married, and I live with a partner of 7 years and apart from that we would not do each other any good at all).
I don't know why but I feel furious- somehow I do not believe him- I know he is fond of me, but his actions have never ever indicated an undying love. And is that how you treat a friend who you are trying to support, and receiving support for a drink problem?
He called me last night at my first night in a new job to break the news- is that what you do when you feel deeply for someone? I would have thought you told them to their face or at least when you know they are at home and able to have a good bawl if they wish.
It just seems like a load of bullshit, but I can't help but feel furious that someone who I thought was my best friend on the planet has just 'dumped' me like that.
Any insights would be welcome- in the meantime I will go and reply to some other threads, don't want to come here just to 'take' :thanks: :upset:
I joined nearly a year ago, and although my drinking is still pretty bad it is better. I put this down partly that last January an old friend came back to my town to live- we met around 25 years ago, (I was 18 or so) and haven't seen each other for about 15 years when he left here to get married.
We were just friends, he then dated a girlfriend of mine.
When he came back here (with his wife) he told me he had been dry for 2 years, (In AA) as drinking had become a horrendous problem for him, I told him I too had big issues. On his suggestion we began meeting a couple of times a week like a mini AA thing, and while I did not stop, I did cut down and looked forward to our meetings as he is really the only person I know who I can be completely honest with. I felt it was also helpful for him as he could also tell me all his stuff, without fear of judgement.
A few months ago his wife went away for a week, and during that week he began drinking again. He carried on when she returned and became very very ill. She called me and together we got him to the doctor, he was given meds, and dried out.
After that we no longer met in the same capacity for our 'meetings' but continued to see each other on occasion when and if, just as most friends too. I have truly felt grateful for his friendship, as he is the only person who I can trust to talk to about anything.
Last night he called me and said he did not want us to meet anymore- NOT AT ALL- EVER- because he would like our relationship to go further, and I do not. (Possibly because he is married, and I live with a partner of 7 years and apart from that we would not do each other any good at all).
I don't know why but I feel furious- somehow I do not believe him- I know he is fond of me, but his actions have never ever indicated an undying love. And is that how you treat a friend who you are trying to support, and receiving support for a drink problem?
He called me last night at my first night in a new job to break the news- is that what you do when you feel deeply for someone? I would have thought you told them to their face or at least when you know they are at home and able to have a good bawl if they wish.
It just seems like a load of bullshit, but I can't help but feel furious that someone who I thought was my best friend on the planet has just 'dumped' me like that.
Any insights would be welcome- in the meantime I will go and reply to some other threads, don't want to come here just to 'take' :thanks: :upset:
ray:
ops!
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