Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

[Cinders]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cap,

I am going to see my girl today. Now, actually.

I really would take a bullet for her. Seriously. However, what WW was saying is "you can do what you want but you must be what you want them to be."

[bestlifeldms]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

cindi;377178 wrote: OMG. WW.
For the FIRST time in my life, I realize I AM HAPPY TO BE HERE.

Have never been there before. Rhonda Lenair gave me that. I can't explain it. I wish I could but I am here today and know that I SHOULD be here. Not just am. but SHOULD.

Love,
Cindi

Dear Cindi,

I too am sorry you recieved something different that you expected from your trip to Vermont. But, what a wonderful place to start. I have always felt that I used alcohol to "self medicate" because of major psychological traumas, too horrible to share, in my childhood. With your new sense of validation and the acknowledgement that "we matter" in the grander scheme of things, you, hopefully, will no longer have the need or desire for alcohol. I have always admired your stregnth and wisdom.

I hope that your daughter will see the example that you are setting for her and follow you. Just like on an airplane, we should put the oxygen mask on ourselves first, before we can help others.

Sending love and support, Best

[Cinders]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cap,

I am going to see my girl today. Now, actually.

I really would take a bullet for her. Seriously. However, what WW was saying is "you can do what you want but you must be what you want them to be."

I will be there for her.

In an instant. I love her and my son beyond all others. ALL OTHERS.

I am here.

She must decide to be healed. Not me, Cap. I so wish I could do it for her.

I can't.

I can, however, be the BEACON in the lighttower for her. (sp?")

She is an incredibly beautil soul. Incredibly.

God loves her. Whomever HE/SHE is.

She is a beacon in my life.

Cindi

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

ww you can do what you want but you must be what you want them to be." thats Opra crap cindi America must WAKE UP how is your daughter ok Ill sign off cindy love always cap

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

yes

[bestlifeldms]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cap,

I could use some help on that one! I would appreciate any suggestions you could give me on what I can do, as his mother, to help my 23 year old son. I am very sincere in my request. I'm sure it would be beneficial to get this from a son's perspective. He does live at home. If you would pm me anything at all that might be of help, I would appreciate it!

Hugs, Best

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

will Pm u best promise sorry all !!!!! a little to much passion from this sucker sorry cindi if i have been a prick you know i love you why is it that this place is startin to bring me down better take a break i think
Cap

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

I dont know if I was vomiting up blood any help would be good even if every one had said let him die he bought this curse upon himself

[Chief]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cindi, I'm glad you're back and are happy....you sound happy. We all know you would do anything for your kids.....we all would, but it's great to hear you say you can't fix her problems, she has to....

That's a hard thing for some parents to accept....some never do.

Welcome back, Cindi....

Don

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

"but it's great to hear you say you can't fix her problems, she has to".... Don thats crap sorry mate if we all take that view the world goes to shit we have to help those who cant and refuse to help themselves no matter what !!!!

[KateH1]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Hey Capt.
Sounds like you are really worked up about this. I have grown children and I know how this works. We raise them with as many life tools as possible, making it possible for them to grow into adults that are able to make good, sound life decisions for themselves. We still offer guidance and help when asked and when we are able. But, the fact is, we cannot protect our children from all pain and hurt. That is part of life. When our children are adults in particular, we can guide, assist, offer our help, but it is then ultimately up to them.

Capt. WE Cannot FIX anyone else. There comes a point when they must fix themselves or fall.....NO that does not make the world go to crap!

In Cindi's case, she has tirelessly reached out ant helped her daugher. They took her to hospital detox. Took her to rehab. Tried to talk her out of getting married. All to no avail. I believe that Cindi and her husband have done, and are doing everything possible to help their daugher......but, at the end of the day.....they cannot FIX her. We can only FIX ourselves and sometimes through taking the responsibiltiy on ourselves and away from our adult children.......we make things worse! We make things worse by making them believe that WE will be the responsible party and therefor they don't have to be responsible.

Just my thoughts..
Kate

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Appreciate your thoughts Kate but respectivley disagree. I work with kids who are drug addicted from abused homes and on the street they cannot fix themselves they do not have the life skills let alone some where warm to sleep at night with all respect you are projecting middle class thoughts of the only one who can fix you is you I will help you to a certain point after which you are on your own. you said " we make things worse! We make things worse by making them believe that WE will be the responsible party and therefore they don't have to be responsible." this view maybe valid for some but not for all Kate particulary not for some kids wether bought up in a loving envoirment like our kids or ones cast out at a young age to fend for themselves. I enjoy our debates Kate but your statement "Capt. WE Cannot FIX anyone else" .I think is a bit harsh I know you don't mean it like that taken out of contex but i do believe we can fix some one else by just giving an out streched hand we are part of their problem as much as they are part of ours and i find the individualist society denies this. I define my self as a humanist I dont subscribe to the dog eat dog scenario and i know you don't either Kate love these discussions thanks mate
love always cap

[okydoky]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

How many Shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one...but he has to wanna

Sorry....just thought I'd lighten things up a bit.

Cindi...I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I too had other issues to deal with when I went to Vermont. Still dealing with and imagine will be a process for the rest of this life.

All we can do is wake up each day (hopefully without a hangover) and say what can I do today to make things better. And when things don't work out like we planned, we hopefully learn from that and try to stay sober so we can wake up the next day and start the process all over.

It sounds like you woke up with the right attitude this morning. Do what you can and know there will always be a silver lining.

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

wiped me posts dont know why i even bothered You are all right you can't help some one who doesn't want to help themselves let'm rot

[A Work in Progress]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

"let'm rot"???