Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

[Cinders]

Hi, Everyone,

I wanted to post in General because I want everyone to see this.

I do not want to make Lenair out to be a bad thing, though.

My experience there was incredible on many levels. I do think there is a lot of "wooey" from her because she has certain beliefs about health, etc, that enters into it.

However, she does pick up an AMAZING amount of intuitive information about us from her hands on. Really. It is kind of scary for this Mathematician/Computer Science person. She picked up things she could not have picked up without knowing me and she did not know me and she did not have a background to get to know me before she met me.

However, I am like Beatle in my physical and mental response to her. I did feel some incredible healing from her. I mean INCREDIBLE. Unfortunately, it was not about the alcohol. She tried very hard to address the alcohol part and picked up a lot from me with regards to it but I do have so much more going on. Much more.

She and Barry were very enthusiastic yesterday about my treatment. In my case, I am, too. Like I said, there is a lot more going on than just my drinking with me. She addressed those without even knowing it.

However, I am still craving like mad and want to kill to drink.

I hate to say that but that is where I am.

I am sleeping so much better. I actually slept without any aids through the night after the second session. For someone who has gone with 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night (drinking or not) for my ENTIRE life, that is amazing.

Her touch is healing. Her caring is genuine.

I wish I could go back and be treated again. I really do. If I had the money and time, I would be there like a shot.

But, for drinking. No. I am not healed at all. Not one whit.

I went through the airport today literally "dying" for a drink. I came home and had to work HARD not to go to the liquor store.

So. Was it a waste of time and money? No. It was an incredible journey in many ways. Rhonda pointed out some very special and private things that I "knew" but did not "know" and now I am looking at them.

Am I "healed?" No.

Am I better off? Yes. Resoundingly.

I am just a bit more "messed up" than the drinking.

Love,
Cindi

[Preciouspinot]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

You said so much but, I am still confused. I know it is hard to describe the process at Lenair and I am so facinated by it all. Could you please try to explain how you feel better or am I trying to find sense where their is no "sense"?

How is some part of your "person" better now?

[Preciouspinot]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Your post really truly brought a tear to my eye as I had hoped this was your magic bullet. :l

[lorisunshine]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

It breaks my heart for you. Take what you can from it. I can't stop crying.

[Guest]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Oh Cindi...I was really pulling for you on this. I'm really sorry it never worked. I am happy you were able to take something away from it in such a positive way, I just really was hoping the AL issue would have been helped so much better then what it was.
I understand completely about wanting it ever more now, as it was such a focus, but nothing was accomplished...it just made you think about it even more so.
We are here for you honey and always will be.

[CS04]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

I thought MWO was going to be my silver bullet (supps, CDs, Topa) and I am still struggling. Everyone keeps telling me that the answers are within. It is so hard. Times are tough with money and hubby.

[ready2change]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cindi,
I am so disappointed for you. I had such hopes this would be the answer for you. I'm glad you got "something" out of it. Not a pointless trip.

When your ready I guess my question to you is, whats next? I'm pulling for you, I truly am.

R2C

[tawnyfrog]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

I'm so sorry Cindy. I know how much you wanted this.
Thank you for your honesty.

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

I am so thankful for your honesty. I really am. And, I am so sorry that the alcohol issue was not effected positively from this experience, but glad you found her "for real" and helpful in other ways. I think we are alot alike, I really do. We are two people who want so badly to deal with this issue, but struggle on and on none-the-less. Like you, Antabuse keeps me free from alcohol, but I still miss it, and have a hard time maintaining my status on the med. I have been watching and listening about Lenair for some time. I am not considering it at this moment but don't rule it out either. Unfortunately, I think if I went, I would feel similar to you (sigh).

Anyway, you, like me, are not giving up on this. I am 8 days today, on antabuse, so feeling somewhat positive.

Cindi-

We will get there. We WILL figure this out!! I hope you are not overly disappointed.

With love,

Beth

[Cinders]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Please do not be "sad" that I am not healed from Rhonda because in so many ways I am.

I am lighthearted and happy about my life.

Absolutely.

Did she heal me from my drinking??? No.

She healed me from other things that were more horrendous.

More horrendous.

I am happy.

Truly.

I wish I was healed from the alcoholism. I do. But she healed me from things that were much worse. MUCH WORSE. If you can believe it.

I am walking on air today.

I can take on the drinking. I could NEVER have taken on what she healed.

She and Barry do not know this. She just spouts out what my "system" spouts. My system had to let go of so much.

I am a happy person today.

Happy.

Love,
Cindi

[Guest]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cindi, as long as you are happy that is all that really matters...xoxoxo...we all have to be happy in life, or else what is the point? Can I borrow your cloud shoes sometimes?

[Cinders]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Janie,

First off, you were such a beautiful soul to meet in VT.

Secondly, everyone, please understand, I am not healed from AL, but I am healed from so much more.

SO MUCH MORE!!!!

No, Rhonda doesn't know, Barry doesn't know but I tuly am healed from so much more. You have no idea.

I am happy and ecstatic.

If I had more money, I would be back at "Miss Lenair' in a heart beat. I don't, however.

But. I am ready to "take ths on" in a second.

Love.,
Cindi

[KateH1]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Hi Cindi,

I have been reading your thread since you began posting it. I have been sitting and thinking and digesting everything you have had to say. Let me start by saying, what courage you have to come here from the get go to tell us of you experience. Second, you are amazing to be able to recognize all that you did recieve from this experience. From what you have said, so made huge strides in deep core healing! That is truly making juge strides! Also, just because you are still experiencing craving and a strong urge to drink, doesn't neccessarily mean that those urges and cravings too, won't change a lesson as the days go on. I will be rooting for you that this will lessen for you.

In the meantime, do everything you can to resist drinking and hold onto these light new feelings you do have! Cindi, you will conquer this! I am always here for you, along with a lot of people that truly value you and love you.

Much Love,
Kate

[hippie37]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Hi Cindi

I'm in the middle of reading a book at the moment bu Sandra Ingerman called 'Soul Retrieval - Mending the Fragmented Self'. Amazon Online Reader : Soul Retrieval: Mending the Fragmented Self Through Shamanic Practice

Cindi I don't know how familiar you are with Amazon but this link will take you to a page that opens up the book to give the reader a slight insight into the book before buying. If you move onto page 5 there she explains a bit about how if our souls are not 'home' then they cannot be healed. It's kind of like the premise that you can't fix your brain with your brain I think too. If for some reason through trauma, illness, addiction and many other things a vital part of our soul separates from us in order to escape the full impact of that trauma etc. then the part of you that needs healing is not 'there'. I somehow believe that what she shares about her own childhood abuse within the book and her own feelings and emotions makes me feel very comfortable with reading this book; in the sense that I don't feel like I'm being taken for a ride etc. I held a keen interest in Shamanism many years ago and it is something I am starting to explore again. If you can get over the 'airy fairy' namby pamby attitude that a lot of people hold over such things then I think you may find this a useful read.

As you say certain things that are there within your essence Rhonda will have picked up on but other things that are not a part of your essence she will not have. If she had the shamanic techniques to retrieve those lost parts of your soul she would of been able to do more I think. Just my two cents anyway Cindi.

And by the way I'm not sorry, in a horrible sense, because I think it sounds like it has still helped you in many other ways and I'm sure you must feel that too. I'm sure you're not all negative about things just because IT didn't work (so as to speak). Thanks again for your valued and honest opinion on the matter.

Love and Happiness as always
Hippie
xx

[vera-b]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Hi Cindi,

What a profound experience! It seems (and the posts before me seem to agree) that some very key part of you needed healing before you could truly take on the demon AL. It almost appears - from my limited vantage point - that you were fighting AL with more than one arm tied behind your back. If that is indeed the case, then the Lenair experience was a necessary component of the entire process, just not in and of itself the end of the process. With your happiness and vigor (not to mention in-your-face determination!) you have what it takes to vanquish the demon AL to infinity and beyond.

Thank you so much for your brutal honesty. I've looked up to you since I joined, and you can stay up on that pedestal as far as I'm concerned.

V.