Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

[southernbelle47]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cindi :l:l:l's

I think what I hear you saying is that alcohol is not THE problem but....
is the "tool" that you use to deal with the real problem.
God bless you girl.
There are so many of us that have things like that in our lives.
Beth Moore is one example that I can think of.
Her web site is Living Proof Ministries
Go check out her story.
Also...
From Hannahs cupboard:
"If you feel under a cloud of accusation right now you are surely under demonic attack. Scripture tells us that part of Satan's job description is the "accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night." (Revelation 12:10) Johnny-on-the- spot to amplify our every fault, Satan hurls abuse at us constantly.
How do you know if this is happening to you? Do you feel guilty all the time? Do you constantly feel you aren't good enough for God's love? Do your sins seem larger than God's grace? Does it feel like there is a dark cloud around you and the sunshine can't seem to break through? And on top of it all, do you somehow feel that this is YOUR fault? You're not alone; I've been through this myself.
There are ways to break free. First, affirm the truth and reject the accuser's lies. Jesus said; "I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (John 10:10) Go ahead and say it out loud. You are one of the "they" that Jesus was talking about and you are one of the "they" that is going to live more abundantly - starting now.
Hear what God says; "For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation." (Psalm 149:4) And this; "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31) What chance does any demon have with God on your side? Turn a deaf ear to the lies of the accuser. Determine to only listen up to God!"

:hNancy

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Dear Cindi someth'in not right here!!!!!!! please don't drink and get your beautiful baby girl to a hospital I love you my dear friend don't let your judgement be clouded at this important time your daughter needs immediate help !!! throwing up blood is fucking serious I hope Im wrong but please prove me wrong by saying you are taking your daughter to hospital immediatley and Im just behaving like an over reacting idiot i would love to hear that.
love always Cap

[myra]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cindi

Very glad that your experience at Lenair was helpful to you. I would go in a skinny minute if I had the funds. Who knows, the other stuff that was resolved might just have paved the way for the alcohol issue to be resolved.

Anyway, you have an amazing spirit and we all love you. Will be thinking about you with your daughter.
Myra

[greeneyes]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cindi, I so wish Lenair had been your silver bullet. But you can't build a house without laying the foundation first. I think while I experienced success with alcohol (altlhough I do think of it from time to time and even want it), especially under these extenuating circumstances, Rhonda also gave me the strength and empowerment to face my situation. Or somehow opened my eyes to my own inner strength. She knew hubby was an issue without me ever indicating such. I toyed with the idea of returning for assistance in reducing the trauma but they discouraged it if I didn't really need it. I may not. I seem to have come home from Lenair with a new pair of BGP (big girl pants, for those who don't know BGP). Perhaps the help you got is part of the foundation to help you tackle other issues and eventually end up with resolving the alcohol. I hope so from the bottom of my heart. :l :h Greenie.

[momof3]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Dear Dear Cindi,

I am happy that some deep healing occurred for you at Lenair. It is unfortunate that the alcohol issue did not go away during your sessions but perhaps now that other issues have been addressed, you will have more energy and strength to tackle the alcohol issue.

As I have described in the "30 days and beyond" post, Lenair was not a magic bullet for me either. And, I did go back to Lenair over 40 days later after a lapse and I am still not sure. I am not drinking but it is hard work and I experienced some pretty strong cravings on vacation last week (after over 100 days AF). Like Beatle, I was initially quite distressed over my lapse after Lenair but I have now come to terms with it.

So, so sorry about your daughter. I truly know how it is to have a daughter who struggles and to see her fall and struggle on her path (although for mine it is not an alcohol issue). Like you, I would do anything to make it different. I am sending both of you lots of blessings and warm warm thoughts. Please PM me if you would like.

Lots of Love,
mof3:h

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Sorry guys she said her daughter is vomiting blood mmmmmmmmmm maybe I missed something here experience at lenair should be at the bottom of the list Sorry Im getting angry here FUCK LENAIR we are talking about a very serious physical health issue here fuck me no one sees this!!!!!!" QUOTE So, so sorry about your daughter. I truly know how it is to have a daughter who struggles and to see her fall and struggle on her path" her fucking path is death for fucks sake.. I cant believe you people are posting this shite just think cindi hasnt responded I hope to christ thats because she taking her daughter to hospital this is fucking serious. wake up for christs sake

[wonderworld]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

To Beetle, Cindi

It really pains me to think of you 2 getting kind of "cracked open" like that and then turned loose on your own. This does not sound good. Touching into old traumas and wounds IS VERY serious. I went twice to a 5 day program that dealt with the connection between trauma and addiction. It was unbelievably intense. They required that you have a relationship with a therapist to support you as stuff continues to come up after you leave so you can process it with someone.

Cindi what about a therapist? That could really support you right now and help you to put your Lenair experience to work FOR you in the best possible way ASAP. We are not enough. We're awesome, don't get me wrong, but we're not THERE and we're not professionals. And if you're wobbly with the AF, all the more reason to try to catch that NOW!. Don't try to do it alone.

Love WW xox

[wonderworld]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cap - I'm not cavalier about Cindi's daughter AT ALL. Trust me on that. I've been aware of the situation for a long time, been friends with Cindi since I got here, and at times there have been far worse symptoms. AND.... knowing Cindi to be the excellent problem -solver that she is, well, I know she'll do what needs to be done in the short term. She gets it done.

AND...... I'm feeling very concerned about my friend Cindi in the big picture and I want to help her keep the momentum going from Lenair, if I can. While all this is going on with her daughter, I want her to hear the support for HER health too.

That's all!

WW

[KateH1]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cindi,
Her is my 2 cents. I also agree that you need to be seeing somone to work through what you started with Lenair, concering trauma. I wish that all of that pain just magicly disapears.....but it doesn't. I also agree with the way that WW described being like a can cracked open. I have been there.....I would leave my therapist office feeling light and happy only to hit bottom a few days later....thoughts and memories swirling in my head!! Not good! But, the good news is that you are now aware of these deeper issues to work on and that in and of itself can begin the healing process. Please, please find some professional support for this!

As for your daughter. She is not a child. She, needs to get herself to a doctor. She needs to take control of her own life. As for her husband not knowing that alcohol is poison. He does know! He married her knowing she had just left rehab! Shortly before that she was in hospital detox......Yes, he knows and he doesn not care about the seriousness of this. But, you can not, make your daughter stop drinking. What you can do, is take care of yourself, stay AF, no matter what and get some help for your issues.

Take Care of Yourself first Cindi......then you can help others. (remember the oxygen on the airplane!)

Love,
Kate

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Sorry wonder were did I accuse you of being"cavalier" I have never used this word in my life actually had to go to the dictionary to spell it right thanks i like new words ....Cap - YOU" I'm not cavalier about Cindi's daughter AT ALL." confused about that statement wonder maybe you mistook me for some one else.
Love always cap

[happydog]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Hi Cindi,

Im glad you got something positive out of lenair.........
BUT i feel so sad to hear about your daughter, just to let you know im thinking of you both.

I do think wonder is right about one to one sessions with a therapist ....i know it help me a lot. i know deep down i still need more....Also gabby post the mindset is so true!

love you cindi take care of yourself.:l

love
Teardrop.x

[Cinders]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

wonderworld;376987 wrote: OKay - but are you willing to NOT take a bullet for her? Are you willing to NOT die for her? The only thing she needs from you right now is your sobriety. I think you have to start taking care of yourself as you would like your daughter to take care of HERSELF, you know? You have to SHOW her. That's the behavior modeling that will make the difference. Until then, it's just theoretical and you'll have no credibility with her. Actions will ALWAYS speak louder than words. Yes, you are her Mommy, and that means that whatever long term abstinence you achieve, will become a blessing for her somewhere down the line, many many times over.

When you give up on yourself and drink, you leave her in the lurch. That's how it is with alcohol-dependent parents. From a child who was in those shoes many many times, let me tell you it feels awful. USE these emotions and new awarenesses stirred up by Lenair Cindi.. Feed them with sobriety and light. Don't detour.

IMHO: Get clear and re-apply yourself to 30 days AF - if it's the MWO program you'll be following. If not that, then another one. ( What day is this so far? let's get cheering!) And then, when you feel like drinking, come here first and ask for help 'til it passes. If you do that, you will be in an entirely new position to deal with your daughter a month from now. That would be so good.

Wishing love and peace to you both-

WW xox

OMG. WW. These are the things I woke up with this morning.

I cannot do it for her. I must take care of myself. Every day.

Myself.

Oh, and the thing that Lenair did for me was let me know, I am okay.

I am not just okay, I am special. We are, after all, children of God. He put us here for a reason. He does not make junk.

I know this sounds trite but. I woke up this morning understanding that "I am here for a reason. God loves me. HE/SHE LOVES ME. I am here for a special purpose. Every day"

Yes. I can be sober even if my girl is not. I can be a beacon in the way of life.

I will be.

I am happy to be here.

For the FIRST time in my life, I realize I AM HAPPY TO BE HERE.

Have never been there before. Rhonda Lenair gave me that. I can't explain it. I wish I could but I am here today and know that I SHOULD be here. Not just am. but SHOULD.

Love,
Cindi

[buckledown]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

am so sorry that Lenair was not all you hoped for...but it does sound like you got some wonderful results with deeper issues....I will be praying for you and your daughter and hope to hear of good news and changes in your lives...it is a journey after all and I am here with you on yours...please dont hesitate to be in touch...xx buckle

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

is your daughter ok thats all i ask

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

ww you got kids

for fucks sake cindi quoting you Yes. I can be sober even if my girl is not. I can be a beacon in the way of life.

I will be.

I am happy to be here.


even if your babys sick!!! for fucks sake am i the only person who sees through this crap