Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

[vera-b]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Hi Cindi and everyone,

I'm speechless, or to be more exact, wordless. I feel like I'm milling about in a large crowd, and this popular guy named Jesus is just about to give us a much needed meal of bread and fish. On the verge of a miracle . . . ready for profound words to change the way we live our everyday lives . . . each not understanding the heart of the other, yet somehow feeling connected to each other for the first time.

Perhaps this is the real magic of MWO. One person struggles. Everyone tries to help. In the process, we expose our own struggles and vulnerabilities and we grow. You've all given me more food for thought -- enough for leftovers! And I was going to go to bed in a few minutes! May the creator of the universe bless us all with a good night's sleep, bright eyes to take on tomorrow's challenges and the humility to step back in awe from time to time to appreciate all the wonderful folks that have "appeared" on our path. God bless.

V.

[Chief]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

We will do anything to help someone we love beat any problem they encounter....but we can't put that same energy into beating our own demons.....right, Kate?...

Great food for thought...

Don

[KateH1]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Right to both, Don and Renegade. We have to solve our own demons first! And, boy! That does take a lot of energy!

[bootcampbarbie]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

ahhh cindy just back checking in and sending you so much love and hugs. i can say that my experience with lenair and with all healing really is that yes you have to get to what is on the surface to be able to get down to the roots of the matter. i wanted to really deal with cigerattes and then went there last time to deal with some other issues. they keep resurfacing but oddly enough other things disappeared. so i see the threads of all that binds me are just surfacing and coming apart. the energies are unweaving and releasing me. i know that you are beautiful and strong. and i also know since it is not a failure in any way you should definitely drop barry a line and let him know you are having such extreme cravings and you should be practicing what is on your card to see if that gives you relief. and see if rhonda will do a phone call with you to give you some relief. you deserve the support. you've earned it. and yes it does work it just works for whatever it is that most requires that attention. i for one had prayed for you that it would be the alcohol as i know that is what can be taken away but i know now from your post there was much on top of it. and barry has told me before that it still is effective when they have dealt with the whatever other issues came up then can get to that. so whatever it takes honey. you on your own or whatever but do please call or write. i'd like to see some relief come your way. do please get out your card and see if that helps.
luv you boots

[okydoky]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Good to see you Boots!
Cindi...thinking about you and your daughter.
Perhaps we need to learn to love ourselves as much as we love our children...

[brittzak]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

You know this thread really makes me sad. A member really opened herself here...and had some of you read PAST posts...I mean ...went back YEARS you would KNOW Cindi has done and been there for her daughter. Was she to die in the process? And no disrespect to you CAPTNJACT, but what is your child like 4???? Come back and throw judgement when she is 44, sober and college educated well on her way. Ok??? I have found it so easy to pass judgement and so hard to live up to that judgement I have passed. BE CAREFUL. Cindi daughters is ill, but so is she and she can not help her, if she can not help herself first...correct? AND if your Mom was able to keep you from drinking, can you please send her to America? She might just be our next Rhonda Lenair...sorry, I could not resist. You know I love you too. (as you always say right after you say something very mean).

[Accountable for Me]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

OMG! Did I read your post right there, Luv?

I don't think you have kids that are in their 40's? Your kids are young so I think you are off the mark making judgement about another member's opinion here. We are all entitled to sharing our own thoughts.

We welcomed you back with open arms when you attacked everyone here.

I think this is really fucking hypocritical.

I don't think it is funny either saying her mother is the next Rhonda Lenair either. It doesn't seem to be the 'cure all' for a lot of MWO'ers. It seems to me that it is a slim chance this will work for anyone. If it was a cure for you and other's then you wouldn't be having any cravings etc.

I appreciate Cindi being honest about her experience. It is about time besides Beatle saying her part in this too.

The thing is and ask yourself this: What if one of your kids was in deep shit with drinking or drugs. Would you really abandone them? Honestly Lisa I think not. So fuck, like many of us mothers, no matter how screwed up we are - we COULD NOT sit back and watch our children suffer no matter what age they are.

Think about it. And don't bother sending me any stupid PM's or knock me down for this post either.

YOU would NOT let your children suffer. I know this about you. So let's not judge.

[okydoky]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

AFM...honey...have you been drinking?

[Accountable for Me]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

No, I have not. Between a screaming child and trying to figure out why this shit of attacking is going on - I am tired.

Thanks for asking.

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

i hate being dragged back here but Luv or what is it now Brittzak. Leave my mother and daughter out of this those comments are way below the belt. I was concerned for some one who is throwing up blood. I never for one second said Cindi does not care for her daughter I just felt the focus on her experience at Lenair by others didnt make sense in lite of her daughters predicament. I have been bullied for taking this view and deleted my posts and walked away from the conversation. As for taking a spray from some one who came on here drunk and having a go at people under a different user name I take your comments with the grain of salt they deserve
Oh thats right I am being mean forgot to say
Love always Cap

[okydoky]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

OK...don't really see attacking going on...just someone caring about another...
I guess that's what you are doing too....I'm tired and going to bed as well...
Nighty Night

[Accountable for Me]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

LOL

You don't see someone attacking another? Wow. I guess I must be in a dreamworld.

Anyway - Capt. I am behind you 100%. You only expressed your concern, as I did in the F thread. When I hear about blood etc., it is alarming. I don't know. But all I can say is that once upon a time ago I was puking up blood and I WISH that my mother did something to help me. She has never done anything to help me. She is now an alchie herself - go figure. All I know is that no matter what I would NEVER give up on my kids - ever. Even if they were 100 yrs old and I was 121!

Funny how some think it is OK to attack another but whenever they fuck up it is OK.

Ok done now.

Have a good sleep everyone.

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Thanks accountable your kids are in good hands what a sweet person you are I KNOW all mums here are the same they will love there kids forever no matter what state!!!!!.......... My mum was and still is an alcoholic but she taught me well she loved me and instilled in me a sense of well being and look after the little guy attitude!!!!!! she is very sad all the time at the state of the world!!!!! Im not trying to make excuses for alcoholism but people suffering under its hammer are still good people but could probably be better sober. Sober is best I believe you cant be your best drunk!!!!!! we would die for our kids anyway sorry for rambling I'm done too Im walkin away for the second time all the best lol.
Love always Cap

[SKendall]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Cindi, I want to get back to your original post. Lenair was not the magic bullet and maybe everyone's expectations are too high looking for that magic bullet. If there were a magic bullet for the treatment of alcoholism, there wouldn't be so many alcoholics and someone would be a multi billionaire, for solving this centuries old problem.

However, you have a raised consciousness to some of your issues, so maybe this is the first step in your healing. It hasn't cured your cravings yet, but if you work on the knowledge you have received, it may come.

I hope that your daughter gets the helps she deserves. I have heard many women say they would "die "for their children, but we have to be prepared to "live" for them - a much harder prospect for many alcohol abusers.

I know you have done your best and are doing your best. I wish you continued success in your recovery, and help to your girl too.

Love,

Hilary

[Captnjack]

Lenair was not the Silver Bullet

Sorry Cindi for this ill keep my trap closed in the future just wanted to say I love you and hope you and your daughter find a safe place away from the trauma of alcohol addiction all the best in your search.
Cap