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    #1

    7 days then ....

    was af for 7 days ..... then fucked up ... i dont trust anyone anymore sick of wearing my heart on my sleeve etc .
    fact is i do my best i go to the gym etc eat a a1 healtlhy diet ... then zoom im back on it again ..
    im sorry if people think i only come here to get help without suppoerting anyone else
    i have some friends here
    i dont know what to say to other people cos im so fucked up myself .. theres only a 50 per cent positivity in me
    ... nietzche siad "be hard" i need to harden up . im too afflicted by other peoples emotions .. yet when im in isolation it just grates on me .
    ive survived this long
    my book of poetry comes out in atumn hopefully
    Tags: None
    #2
    7 days then ....

    Hi Jay, I know what you mean about not knowing what to say. I feel like that too sometimes. One thing I have found though is when I am drinking, I take things far more to heart than when I am sober. I guess it is that we are unable to think clearly with al in our system.
    keep going, you will find your way too. Being here is a great start!
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

    Comment

      #3
      7 days then ....

      I love you jay

      Comment

        #4
        7 days then ....

        Jay,
        Try not to concentrate on this one day. Look back at the 7 days you were able to do. That is a grand accomplishment. If you did it before you can do it again. We all must learn forgiveness-our own forgiveness. Give yourself forgiveness for today and move forward to a bright tomorrow. You have been doing so many "right" things, gym, eating habits, etc. Those are the things to dwell on right now. I hope you feel better tomorrow. I look forward to most of your posts. kriger
        "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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          #5
          7 days then ....

          You do have friends here Jay
          I keep saying it, but things WILL get better if you don't give in.
          You are in my thoughts, as always.

          Comment

            #6
            7 days then ....

            Oh Jay, I hate it when you hurt. At least you can come here and let the hurt be known. Life is so much more painful for the overly sensitive. I am one. Please keep trying. 7 days is fantastic. Please acknowledge the positive in making it 7 days! Try again. That's what we all must do! I am excited about your book of poetry. Please let us know the title and where it can be obtained. Wonderul that you are channeling your emotions into a work of art. You are soooooo gifted.

            Love, Best
            "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

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              #7
              7 days then ....

              Jay!

              SO F'N WHAT!! You come here to post about your feelings mate and that's more than most do. Some STILL cannot open up on this forum and truly tell of their heartaches. You do that with your poems mate and your honesty about yourself. Some here are able to pass on wise words of their struggles and some are STILL struggling. We are all travelling different paths although we ultimately seek the same point in our journeys. I've said this many times Jay and I often wonder it the same could be said of you. I often thought I was the melancholic depressive musician/artist/poet in life that was made the way I am. I know for a fact I am that person inside and I know I have to deal with that almost every time I feel that way. I will always have to be vigilant about the 'real' need to take a drink. I don't care what anyone says here and I'm not advocating you drink but some of the best works have come from people who have over indulged shall we say. Burroughs, Huxley, Shelley, Floyd, Hawkwind, Cash, Lou Reed..........the list is endless mate innit? The thing is we have to find were our priorities lie and what we truly want out of life. Are we to be destined like so many of our heroes or are we going to make a radical change and make that difference in our own lives that sets us apart from the rest of those people we have looked up to in the past. Change comes from within and if we are truly ready to make that change then nothing should stop us apart from a physical addiction in the beginning maybe. What's radical to me is the fact that I have changed my thinking over this past year, albeit for a slight fuck up a few months ago when I wasn't as vigilant. Being honest I have no childhood traumas or ANYTHING near the problems some have on this forum as far as personal issues. But yet I still find myself troubled with the world around me and the bigger issues that I have no control over. I guess I'll always have these as a gentle soul who lives among wolves. Jay this poem was sent to me by a great friend on here. I think you may get a lot out of it as I did.


              There are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves

              "There are men too gentle to live among wolves
              Who prey upon them with IBM eyes
              And sell their hearts and guts for martinis at noon.
              There are men to gentle for a savage world
              Who dream instead of snow and children and Halloween
              And wonder if the leaves will change their color soon.
              There are men to gentle to live among wolves
              Who anoint them for burial with greedy claws
              And murder them for a merchant's profit and gain.
              There are men to gentle for a corporate world
              Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
              And pause to hear the distant whistle of a train.
              There are men to gentle too live amount wolves
              Who devour them with appetite and search
              For other men to prey upon and suck their childhood dry.
              There are men to gentle for an accountant's world
              Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
              And search for beauty in the mystery of the sky.
              There are men to gentle too live among wolves
              Who toss them like a lost and wounded dove
              Such gentle men are lonely in a merchant's world
              Unless they have a gentle one to love."
              James Kavanaugh

              Love and Happiness
              Hippie
              xx

              p.s. thanks to Cucks for sending this poem to me at a time when I was feeling blue. It made such a difference to know that someone here understood me more than I possibly knew myself at that time.
              "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
              Clean and sober 25th January 2009

              Comment

                #8
                7 days then ....

                Yes it was. Jay the time you need this site the most is when you are down. Welcome back

                Comment

                  #9
                  7 days then ....

                  push
                  yourself
                  into the difficult tommorow
                  rough,unshod
                  like the gallop of new horses
                  speak now!
                  before they blinker you

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                    #10
                    7 days then ....

                    thanx hippie

                    Comment

                      #11
                      7 days then ....

                      Jay, hang strong love .......... I'm here for you .....xx
                      sigpicXXX

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                        #12
                        7 days then ....

                        Jay.......you are not alone.

                        People here genuinely care about you and your struggles.......we are here for you......always.

                        Hip........thanks for posting the poem cucks (thanks cucks!!!) sent you........so very beautiful in this dog-eat-dog (more`s the pity!!!)world.

                        Darling x
                        Formerly known as Starlight Impress.

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