Who am I?
I am a person with many things that have gone wrong in so many ways in the
past, but now I can say yes, I have changed for the better, I am starting
to love life in so many ways. Why? Because of me and god. I believe if he
wanted me dead, it would have happened a long long time ago. I am slowly
learning how to live again, speak again and do things right again. In my
past I have looked death in the eyes and many more things; but now is the
time to start moving forward .. keep learning ways to change even more
If you are still trying to be AF and can't get there ..it only means that
you are not ready to comitt to a life of soberity. In order to get what
you want .. you have to work for it .. nothing in life is easy. If you are
just waiting for a sign.. you will be either waiting a long time for
someone to do it for you, or you will make one mistake that you can't
change & go back to learn from. Now is the time to change... if you are
ready.
Be willing to do it for yourself. Yes, we all look for a magic pill or
cure; but if you are looking for that, you will not find it. But if you
look deep within yourself to find the power to get you off your ass and
start wanting to change, then and only then you will find what you need to
do what it is you know you have to do. I have found ways to keep myself
under control and still there are some times where I am confused...but it
is all part of the learning. I ask myself every day if I only had a drink
for one day, what would happen? To tell you the truth, I already know the
outcome to that question. Do I really want to start over and over again?
.. I say no ..30 years of drinking is enough.. it is time to live and
enjoy life to the fullest. Like I have said many times, I have seen too
much for one person to deal with .. and now i can say I am tired of trying
to inpress people, be part of the crowd. i am my own person and I am the
only one
that can be happy with myself . So where do I go from here?..I really
don't know .. I wish I could see the future .. but I do know one thing, as
long as I stay the way I am today, it should turn out ok ..maybe not
great, but ok. I will be able to think clear and live .. and I will do my
best. That is all you can do..but the thing is, it's all up to you..you
are not a weak person, maybe you are just confused or you have been told
this is all you will amount up to, or you are just trying to fit in. All
you have to do is cut the cord... let go of those things that you feel you
owe someone.... but who do you really owe??
Look no further than yourself.
Ok i was saving this for my 10 month af ..But hell why not now ..
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