feeling so very low

[startingover]

Last night my husband got absolutley bladdered. It doesn't happen often in fact I can't remember when it last happened. He does drink but usually he is the one to look after me. He went out to the pub with friends. I didn't want to go because a) I am not that sociable and b) I am even worse without a drink. I seem to get quite anxious in social situations without some crutch to help me.
Anyway it has floored me, really scared me badly. I hate seeing him out of control as that really isn't him. I was terrified that he was going to throw up and choke or something. I don't know why it happened either. Is it because I don't drink or is something else wrong or am I being unreasonable? Whenever I got plastered he was NEVER angry with me at all. Should I not have been angry? My dad was a alkie and used to frighten me when he was drunk. Drunks do frighten me. I just feel so sad and maybe I am doing something wrong. The last 33 days I have been af and really happy, happier than I have felt for such a long time. Now I just feel so very low.
Sorry to whinge...
Any words of advice or wisdom would be most welcome.

[KateH1]

feeling so very low

Gosh, startingover, sounds like you had a pretty rough night. Really happy for your 33 days and yes, living AL free does indeed make for a happier life. All of the confusion, depression and anxiety induced by alcohol disappears and we become stable.

Drunks can be very scary, because people are not who they are when they are sober. Drunks can become aggresive and even violent. When we are sober in this environment it is all very real to us, since we are not sedated by booze.

Can you talk to your husbad today about how you felt while he was drunk. I think it is really important to talk about how you were affected rather than how bad he was. I hope you are able to have a talk. And....never feel guilty for choosing and AF life!!

Stay Strong!!
xxxKate

[bloggy]

feeling so very low

Aw, don't worry.

It probably is a fear that stems from your childhood with your dad, but seeing as hubbie doesnt sound like he has a real problem I guess your fears were a bit unjustified.

However it has just made me think if my BF were to get steaming (he never drinks) I would be as worried as hell! Just goes to show what we put them through.

My advice is don't worry and don't be angry, just concentrate on you staying well.

[Guest]

feeling so very low

its all new for you at the moment and your new balence still needs to settle. Your doing great and I woulnt worry about the hub unless he started doing it regularly...hope youve a great day.

[startingover]

feeling so very low

Oh thank you all of you!
Kate, last night was truly horrible I tried to talk to him today. He apologised while I cried. Bit of a wimp aren't I?
Marbella, I know, I felt it was "just desserts" too. The fear and the what if's just really overtook me.
Limers, It is so new I guess I am just really unsure of myself

Thank you all, it does help to get a rational opinion.

[bloggy]

feeling so very low

BTW- hope he has a big hangover.


Cant believe I just wrote that!!!! Tomorrow is my day 1 AF- the first for a very long time. God, I can be wicked.

[startingover]

feeling so very low

Oh One 2, that is JUST how I feel. My dad used to wet the bed and the thought that that might happen scares the shit out of me. And then I think but I am just as bad? (never wet the bed though thankfully)
Do we have problems with al so that we don't see the others around us do you think or maybe if someone is looking after us they wont be so pissed?
He is in bed sleeping and feeling horrible at the moment. Just think that could've been me 4 short weeks ago. In fact it was. My last binge to end all binges left me ill for a week I will never ever forget it.
Thanks one 2. It helps to know I am not alone.

[bloggy]

feeling so very low

Now I feel really rotten. Please do whatever you can for him to improve the hangover and don't get mad at him- we all know how stupid and sick we feel the following day.

[startingover]

feeling so very low

Marbella - he does:H
Good luck for your day one tomorrow.

Gia, thank you, we didn't really talk properly, I think he feels too ill. I never felt like drinking though!!!

[KateH1]

feeling so very low

Starting you are not a wimp at all.....feeling our "real emotions" is healthy....one of the many rewards of living without alcohol!

I find it impossible to talk to anyone who is drunk.....they are simply not home! Perhaps later in the week, when both of you are sober.....you can have a real talk!! Best Wishes!

[kriger]

feeling so very low

Starting,
So sorry you are feeling sad- try to start thinking about how for YOU have come and the fact that YOU didn't break down and drink last night. Focusing on the positive and your 33 days AF. That is an accomplishment to be proud of, to be sure. Everyone has given great advice- I echo Gia and Kate by saying that you should only talk when sober. Nothing constructive will come out of it unless you both are clear headed. Good luck and have a great day!
Day 6 Kriger

[startingover]

feeling so very low

One 2, That's brilliant about your af nights I know that last night was a trial for you. You did great! I haven't really put myself in the position of being around lots of people drinking yet (well, one afternoon golden wedding celebration but I drove and they were mostly old fogeys lol) so not sure how I would cope just now. Hopefully OK but you just never know do you?
Got this funny pic in my head of a tiny lady trying to wrestle your hubby's trews off :H and then giving him a smack !
Thanks for the offer of pm it is returned to you too.

Hi kriger, thank you. I am focusing on my achievement. But yesterday and this morning I had even begun to feel that if I had gone out it wouldn't have happened - well not to him anyway but probably to me. I have just taken my doggies out for a lovely walk and feel calmer. Hopefully we will be able to talk when we are both not angry and he is sober!
Delighted for you day 6 and over a weekend too. Great going girl, keep it up!!

[Theme2be]

feeling so very low

Please know, that you are not alone.

It saddens me as I am reminded as to the extremes when in the grips of alcohol from the inside looking out.

I feel much compassion for you and your husband.
The images you shared wrenches my heart for all involved.

Know, you are amongst friends, that understand and care about you and yours.

Much admiration to you as you inspire with your time free from "its" clutches.

Stay close, please.

[startingover]

feeling so very low

Themetobe. beautiful words thank you. This place helps me so much I don't know what I would do without it.
All seems to be well today thankfully. The horrors of Saturday are fading fast. I am still going strong on day 34. I pray that it lasts forever.