Chronic relapsing

[hippie37]

Well my presence may or may not of been missed here. Hardly surprising with what's been happening of late but I seriously think I'm turning into a chronic relapser every 3/4 months. The longest I've managed is 4 1/2 months before the shit hits the fan again. I'm really struggling to get past this bench mark. Even with my life being turned around with a great woman I somehow still feel I don't deserve to be happy and it's always around this bench mark that I start feeling this way.

Life changes are always going to be a bit of an upheaval and there are bound to be teething problems. I'm seeing that with my daughter at present too. Some may think she is too young to understand at nearly 4 but every time I talk to her about my move to Scotland she avoids the issue. Her behavior has become slightly erratic and very clingy towards me which tells me she totally understands what's happening but hopes it will all go away and she won't have to deal with it. I know kids that age are very resilient and she will in time get used to things but it still doesn't make it any easier for her OR me at present. The worst thing that happened with my relapse on Wednesday night was the fact that she was staying with me overnight.

I've been feeling a bit 'off' with this forum of late and well before I relapsed on Wed. I haven't wanted to share things as I've done in the past and It's ended up with me making some posts that where wholly meant to provoke people. For that, I am sorry to anyone I offended. As I said my daughter welfare and my move to Scotland are the most important things in my life right now and not waging war with members here or trying to provoke reactions from others whose views I don't agree with. I probably will remain a back seat driver for the time being on here until I'm settled with the move etc. I just felt the need to post and make friends aware of my actions and my predicament.

Love and Happiness to you ALL
Hippie
xx

[AMELIA]

Chronic relapsing

Hey Hippie,
Yes I have noticed your absence. Sounds like you are going through a lot of changes at the moment.
A lot to deal with and to process.
Can not respond properly now....will do in a bit.
Glad you are back and posting.
x

[Cinders]

Chronic relapsing

Hippie,

From one chronic relapser to another. :l:l

Yes, your daughter and your sobriety are #1. You are a smart man to realize that.

You are always welcome here and you know. it. Your kindness and caring has helped me through some of my rough times.

If I, or anyone else, can help you with anything, please let us know.

You are loved,
Cindi

[Guest]

Chronic relapsing

Thers alot going on in your life and that always tips our balence. I suppose the only thing you can do is constantly reassure your daughter that she will see her daddy very regularly and she is always number one. Im sure you and Dolph and your ex have set up some visiting plan , explain it too her . Give her a calender and mark down when its her visiting time , it will make her feel like she has some control .And trust your new happiness ,you deserve and Dolph is a great gal!

[Seacailin]

Chronic relapsing

I have been away hippie, so I have not a clue what is going on. I was further behind on my internet bill than I thought, and I was disconnected for a week. I am sorry for your troubles. I have always been a chronic relapser myself. I had that long stretch of sobriety from 1989-1999, but since then, it has been a major struggle. You have been so helpful and inspirational to me. I do hope that you will stick around.

[Captnjack]

Chronic relapsing

Hey Hipps again you speak considered honest thoughts you are one seriously beautiful person buddy all the people attracted to you know there stuff LOL. I ain't got a set of crystal balls ( or plumbs) but I see you and Dolph and the kids in one big family hug before you all trudge off in ya wellies( call em gum boots here) to Glastonbruy to check the music out what a great life . Love ya Hips cap

[Doggygirl]

Chronic relapsing

Hippie, I am very sad you are struggling right now. I have faith that you will figure out how to get past that 4.5 month mark if you keep working at it, which I know you will. I wish you well getting through your move and especially getting your daughter comfortable with the changes. Despite dealing with your own life, you have always taken time to help me with work on my sobriety, and I appreciate that.

DG

[brittzak]

Chronic relapsing

Hippie, so sorry you are struggling right now. Keep fighting the fight.

[bestlifeldms]

Chronic relapsing

Sending you support and lots of love, as always!

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Chronic relapsing

Hi hip,
I`m sorry to hear that you`re struggling with the drink right now. To be perfectly honest, the thought of myself relapsing at this stage in my recovery, scares me witless.

But, if my slip back in Jan. taught me anything, it is this.........I am "as safe as houses" in my sobriety, provided I do not take THAT FIRST DRINK........our downfall truly does begin AND END with that first drink. Please God that I never again am fool enough to raise a glass of wine to my lips.............

My best to you,

Darling x

[greeneyes]

Chronic relapsing

Hi hippie, I wondered what happened. I feel the changes I am making are for the best but I fear failure and success at the same time if that makes any sense. Thus I have a core feeling to try to avoid change even if it is necessary. Within the discord that is created by the fear of both at the same time is a desire to numb and we all know what does that quite well. Even after Lenair, I am clinging so tightly to my sobriety that my knuckles are white. I think regognizing that time frame for you is a great start to avoiding the pothole in the road. Best of luck to you always.

[greeneyes]

Chronic relapsing

Darling, I have been taunted for two days by that "I'll have just one" to quell this awful feeling I have. It has been fear of that first drink and what could follow that has kept it at bay. I've never had a real relapse since I never quit drinking for very long at a time. But I know in my heart I am a candidate.

[bloggy]

Chronic relapsing

Hi Hippie

I was away for a while but as soon as I returned I remembered you as you always struck me as being a very special person.

Sorry you have had a relapse, but hell, it happens, and it sounds like you are dealing with an awful lot of upheaval at the moment, it's alot to cope with.

Here's wishing you all the best, and I am sure your daughter will be fine when she realises she will still see and talk to you regularly.

Good luck

[cmhguy3]

Chronic relapsing

Stay strong!

[A Work in Progress]

Chronic relapsing

Hippie, I am sorry that I don't know you as you seem to be a wonderful guy. I hope you find that you can stay around here to give and receive encouragement in the difficult (not impossible!!) struggle to get free of the poison that has so damaged us and our lives. Someone else pointed out a really good thing... knowing, as you now do, when your most vulnerable time can be a wonderful thing, a piece of understanding, won at great cost, that can really help you to prevent another relapse, down the road. Forewarned is forearmed, and all that...

best wishes,

wip