A few days ago, I posted my thoughts on the sentence, "My life didn't go to Hell in a week; it'll take more than a week to fix it." And I'd like to thank everyone who responded -- it gave me more to think about.
I realized that a lot of what's wrong with my life can be classified as bad habits. Drinking, obviously. But also procrastination. Sleeping late. Avoiding people. And avoiding introspection and serious self-examination. And a lot of my good habits have withered and died. Keeping the house clean. Reading. Bike rides or long walks, just to be outside. Healthy cooking. Emailing distant friends and family. Journaling. I started making a list of all the good habits I wanted to cultivate. It's a pretty intimidating list, and would represent a large-scale reversal of how I spend most of my time.
"90% of life is habit." I don't remember where I first heard that -- maybe a psych prof in college? But I believe it's true. We actually do rather few things deliberatively, engaging the full machinery of our consciousness to make decisions. It doesn't seem that way, of course -- we tend to assume that our lives are constructed from deliberate, conscious decisions exactly because those are the decisions that enter consciousness. The very definition of a habit is an act or behavior that's been repeated to the point where it becomes automatic, not requiring a conscious decision.
So quitting drinking means breaking habits. And that means making conscious, deliberate decisions against existing habits. And that's difficult, and tiring, and stressful. One of the things I've found most useful is to plan ahead for what I'll be doing during my witching hour. Then I can simply do it, and hopefully lose myself in it, so I don't have to make deliberate minute-by-minute decisions that I'm still not going to drink tonight. And hopefully recovering will mean developing new habits. I don't want to have to make a conscious deliberate effort every single day forever. "Effort" is a key word; it is work, sometimes hard work, to stay focused and continue to decide against habits.
How long does it take to develop a new habit? I've been turning that question over in my mind for a few days, and have come to the rough conclusion that once you do something 50 times, it's probably become a habit. And then, coincidentally, LookingToGrow posted this today in the AF Army thread:
"I was chatting with someone the other day that stated around day 50 you become a non-drinker and the struggle turns into a way of life."
Anyway, your thoughts?
peace,
lilnev
I realized that a lot of what's wrong with my life can be classified as bad habits. Drinking, obviously. But also procrastination. Sleeping late. Avoiding people. And avoiding introspection and serious self-examination. And a lot of my good habits have withered and died. Keeping the house clean. Reading. Bike rides or long walks, just to be outside. Healthy cooking. Emailing distant friends and family. Journaling. I started making a list of all the good habits I wanted to cultivate. It's a pretty intimidating list, and would represent a large-scale reversal of how I spend most of my time.
"90% of life is habit." I don't remember where I first heard that -- maybe a psych prof in college? But I believe it's true. We actually do rather few things deliberatively, engaging the full machinery of our consciousness to make decisions. It doesn't seem that way, of course -- we tend to assume that our lives are constructed from deliberate, conscious decisions exactly because those are the decisions that enter consciousness. The very definition of a habit is an act or behavior that's been repeated to the point where it becomes automatic, not requiring a conscious decision.
So quitting drinking means breaking habits. And that means making conscious, deliberate decisions against existing habits. And that's difficult, and tiring, and stressful. One of the things I've found most useful is to plan ahead for what I'll be doing during my witching hour. Then I can simply do it, and hopefully lose myself in it, so I don't have to make deliberate minute-by-minute decisions that I'm still not going to drink tonight. And hopefully recovering will mean developing new habits. I don't want to have to make a conscious deliberate effort every single day forever. "Effort" is a key word; it is work, sometimes hard work, to stay focused and continue to decide against habits.
How long does it take to develop a new habit? I've been turning that question over in my mind for a few days, and have come to the rough conclusion that once you do something 50 times, it's probably become a habit. And then, coincidentally, LookingToGrow posted this today in the AF Army thread:
"I was chatting with someone the other day that stated around day 50 you become a non-drinker and the struggle turns into a way of life."
Anyway, your thoughts?
peace,
lilnev
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