Friendships and NOT alcohol

[ThuzzyQ]

I think I have blogged this before but I cannot believe how few friends I have outside my world when I stop drinking! My mind starts saying things like "stop the AB and have a few over the weekend" or definately trying to figure out excuses not to hang out with basically EVERYONE I know!

I'm already trying to figure out my empty weekend - before I would have been thrilled, a big bottle of vodka and a case of beer and no one to bother me except my drinking buddies inviting me to do something. Now that was exciting! Starting first thing Saturday morning and not stopping till Sunday night. Yum.

Kids or no kids they would have been a second thought cause the vodka would be hidden the beer didn't come out till noonish and they were usually busy doing their own thing by then. I just got to sit in my daze and I actually am missing that?

Besides the obvious sick thinking that that is it makes me sad that that is what it was for YEARS. The good news, the AB won't be out of my system even if I wanted to drink all weekend long so instead I'll have to find something more productive to do. Any ideas? This is only weekend #3, the first two were still honeymoon stages I think.

[nanlovesdogs]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

I hear you Thuzzy! I am not even AF yet, but thinking up reasons why I will only have 6 beers as opposed to 20. I've seen great suggestions posted such as antibiotics, don't feel well, etc. If you and your friends are anything like me and my friends, that never stopped us before!!

If you have the ability, maybe you could go out of town for the weekend.

Keep positive! You can do this!

[gyco]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

hi thuz,every thing takes time,darn it i keep sayin tht,hahha,its the feelin of noin whats goin on around you,i also was a vodka drinker,when they said melo, i new what they ment ,hahaha tht day was friday,the next was monday,yur doin great ,keep comin here gyco

[Carmac]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

Thuzzy -

Not sure where you live but at least where I am, there is always a festival, outdoor concert, etc going on. Getting OUT of the house is important. I can't stress that enough. Yes, it's hard to get moving but once out, you'll be amazed of what you can think of. Even a trip to the local library (books always draw me in anytime) or perhaps you have a used bookstore nearby? Do you have a park or seashore nearby where you can go walking and clear that brain of yours? I notice when I start during in a homebody alone....just taking a walk does wonders.

And ehat about that shirt or jeans or kitchen item you have been meaning to return but been too busy? Get out of the house.

Just my two cents...Erin

[ThuzzyQ]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

Thanks guys and I know I need to find new things. I am just in a bit of a pitty pot, no boyfriend, no sober friend to bounce all the bullshit off that lives close and I feel like I have to be super strong cause i have two girls who need me too. I'll be okay I'm glad I'm on anabuse or I would just begin the drinking tonight and let it go till Sunday night. Instead, even if I wanted to I can't drink.

I'll check in tomorrow - got to go to job #2 now.....

[lorisunshine]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

Thuzz,
you know what I did on one of the first sober weekends. It was a sunny day but brisk and I went to a smaller zoo in the next bigger town. I just walked around and looked at all the critters. Animals make you smile and feel good inside. Then I went out to lunch (nothing special) and struck up a conversation with a couple at the next table. They were so cute and before I knew it I had had a fabulous day and it was time to go home. It didn't cost much either.
Just get out there and put your toe in the water. It really is a beautiful world.
Hugs and much success on staying sober.
Lori

[gyco]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

dang isnt it great when you can talk to somone and they understand gyco

[AAthlete]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

T, one of the things that we have to do when we stop drinking is to stop looking for friends in all the same old places. Are there things that you like to do/hobbies? Chances are there are groups out there that do the same thing.

It takes a little work but the payoffs are worth it. Sometimes it also means leaving old friends behind. It sometimes means making a choice between hanging around old friends who don't want to stop drinking, and your sobriety. It can be a tough choice...

[bloggy]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

I have dropped my drinking friends over the last few months- it hurts but I know if I keep hanging around with them I will never get sober.

I don't have any non-drinking friends yet, as how can I when I am not AF yet- no-one will want me around.

Just started the AB today, I guess in time when we have a bit of sober time under our belts, we will start to make new friends.

[Cinders]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

Thuzzy,

Just some food for thought, here.

I have found drinking to be very ISOLATING, not companion making.

When I look back at my non-alcoholic past, so much was spent with friends and family.

When I look back at my recent alcoholic past, I spent more time worrying about when and how I was gonna get my alcohol and drink. I would make choices to insure that was taken care of rather than go and visit someone or be with someone.

If your circle of friends is nothing but drinkers, I can see your concern, but in the end, you will all fall away from each other as their drinking progresses, too.

I would make the choice to stay sober and figure out a way to make new friends. Hard choice but your children are so worth it.

As a double whammy, you might decide to meet new friends by joining some activity that you like to do where others are around you can get to know and enjoy. Enhance your life instead of diminishing it with your changes.

Love,
Cindi

[beatle]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

There is so much good advice here. Indiamike and Lorisun are so right: just get out there and do something fun (though I don't think it's fun to see animals in a zoo--they don't belong there). And AAathlete's/Cindi's advice to get or return to a hobby is also great. I have found through my hobbies I have managed to make or keep a couple good friends.

I am lucky (or maybe it was subconsiously intentional) in that my few closest friends are all non-drinkers -- not because of alcohol problems, they just don't really like to drink. I have always looked at them in wonder. Now I can join them, how lovely! Unfortunately, none of them lives close to me anymore.

And, as Cindi said, after a while, alcohol becomes isolating. Little by little, you will find yourself avoiding social situations where you can't have alcohol, and even those where you CAN. No good will come from it in the end.

[ThuzzyQ]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

You guys, I'm surfing the web right now trying to find out how to neurtralize the anabuse so I can drink this weekend - I'm going with that is SICK! I can't find anything thank God and I won't drink again to "test" it so basically I'm sober regardless of how hard the demon tries! I think this is very interesting and a little scary. A lot goes back to the fact that all my friends are drinkers too so in order to find "something" to do I will need to drink or come up with a reason why I'm not which I don't feel like doing.

I want the honeymoon phase back so bad! It was a lot easier!

[gatorgirl]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

please please don't drink. I HAVE DONE IT AND IT'S HORRIBLE AND ALMOST INSTANT!!

[Carmac]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

Don't try it.....there is no antidote. It is in your system.

[Cinders]

Friendships and NOT alcohol

Thuzzy,

Hey, that is why you are taking the Antabuse. So that when the desire hits, you can't do it. Period!!

Don't try.

We have warned you. It is horrible. (been there done that and will never do it again.)

I am sitting here at the airport, a place I traditionally have thrown 3 or 4 back before my flight.

I am happily drinking an NA beer and typing to MWO.

Give that a try this weekend. You might surprise yourself.

Much understanding,
Cindi